And yes, I went all the way back to July of last year to find a good photo of Leo looking like he needed a good scrubbing. What of it?
Ok, here's the story. Leonardo DiCaprio has a new girlfriend. She's a Victoria's Secret model (surprise!) named Erin Heatherton, who is gorgeous and also enjoys bathing frequently. Leonardo DiCapro, on the other hand, is not a Victoria's Secret model who is ok looking and would rather just not when it comes to taking a shower. You can see where the issues would ...
Oh God, what's the arrest warrant for? For being too adorable while riding a bicycle and wearing a jaunty little hat? For crimes against humanity via fashion? Oh no, it's not heroin, is it?
No, it's none of those things. There's a warrant out for Russell Brand because of that time he threw some dude's phone through a window. Scandalous.
Ok, here's the original story. See, Russell was hanging out in New Orleans, probably hooking up with ladies and doing yoga, when out popped a har...
And naturally, I'm talking about her teeth and not her legs. Look at the way they just jump out at you from her profile! Lord! Because there's no way that LeAnn'd be thinking that her tiny, scrawny little chicken legs look, you know, attractive in those skin-tight jeans. I mean, honestly. Have you ever? No? Me either. That's a horrible look for someone so slender. I'm not saying that she should be covering up those things in bolts and bolts of ungainly fabric or anything, but come on.
Anywa...
Want to know why Megan Fox is one of my latest favorite ladies? Because that stupid Marilyn Monroe tattoo is getting fainter and fainter as the days go by. Seriously. It's practically almost gone. Plus, she looks so hot these days. The Botox is all but gone and her hip bones are no longer protruding like she's trying to use them as weapons to recreate some kind of weird Tomb Raider vibe.
All good news for Megan Fox and her fans, right? Well, no, not so much. Turns out that role she was goi...
Because based on her recent actions, she really, really wants one, and she's not too shy to ask for it. But let's back up.
Remember those photos I showed you a few days ago, the ones where Lindsay Lohan was wandering around in that tragic fur coat, looking busted as hell and about 25 years older than she actually is? Yeah, those pictures were taken at amfAR, a charity event held to raise money for AIDS research. What a nice event for Lindsay to attend, right? Sounds like a step in the right ...
So, you guys saw the previous clip this morning that I ran in the MILEY CYRUS ATE A PENIS CAKE! post, and from there on out, I spent about three hours looking at old clips of our formerly-favorite girl, Lindsay Lohan. The clip, above, was, by far, my favorite one yet. Lindsay was so young and promising, and didn't even realize that in the short span of eight years that she'd be all but completely over, fighting over bitty parts in Lifetime movies with other generally-out-of-work actresses. Amazing, right?
So go ahead. Watch the video. I'll be right here waiting for you to come back and we can discuss it together, huh?
Alright. Done? Good. So, GOD, huh? She used to be so almost-completely awesome, right? She was eighteen and cheeky and f-cking adorable and endearing - and damn right, she couldn't sing back then either, but that's completely aside from the point. Lindsay Lohan used to be a demi-goddess, and she used to work all of the time and now look where she's at. Honestly, sometimes I can't believe it myself, but here's the living proof right in front of you. So messed up.
Also, if you'll notice, after she finishes performing, she couches it for a sit-down with Ellen and ...
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So, you guys saw the previous clip this morning that I ran in the MILEY CYRUS ATE A PENIS CAKE! post, and from there on out, I spent about three hours looking at old clips of our formerly-favorite girl, Lindsay Lohan. The clip, above, was, by far, my favorite one yet. Lindsay was so young and promising, and didn't even realize that in the short span of eight years that she'd be all but completely over, fighting over bitty parts in Lifetime movies with other generally-out-of-work actresses. Amazing, right?
...
I had big Saturday night plans, you guys. My mother's nurse and I popped popcorn and uncapped the pickles; we'd been planning our evening for months.
And from 7-9pm CST, we were treated to the magnificent alternate reality that is Drew Peterson: Untouchable.
First of all, I have to hand it to Rob Lowe. His accent was "untouchable," for sure; he was a cross between Dennis Farina and Malcolm in the Middle's Jane Kaczmarek.
I am not going to lie, though: this was the second-worst movie I hav...
No, it's actually kind of cute, really, if you can get past the fact that Megan doesn't want anything to do with non-English-speaking men.
The commercial is for CCAA, which is a Brazilian-based language school that is trying to implement a country-wide campaign to push for a universal education of the English language. In short, two young men are shipwrecked (plane-wrecked?) on "Megan Fox Island," and upon finding out that the men aren't bilingual, Megan captures them in a net and ships them off to - you guessed it - "Mike Tyson Island."
I'll admit, the island names aren't really all that creative, and the idea of being turned off because someone speaks a different language is kind of questionable, but you can't deny that Megan Fox is still so, so hot, and Mike Tyson, though he only speaks five words, can deliver his lines and be funny at the same time.
What else has Megan Fox been up to, though, you ask? Well ... this commercial here, this is pretty much it. And the only thing she's really got on the horizon is that possibility of yanking Lindsay Lohan's Liz Taylor role in that Lifetime movie that's supposed to be made.
Megan also recently visited Turkey to film a Doritos commercial (!), and did a few amusing interviews, one of which where she admitted to not knowing that Istanbul is not some small town in Turkey. Mind the translation, as the interview excerpt came from a Turkish newspaper:
SABA TÜMER: Hi Megan, how are you? It’s your first time in Turkey, you just arrived yesterday? What did you know about Turkey prior to your visit? What did you expected and what have you seen so far here?
MEGAN FOX: I knew a few things about Turkey. Like you have the most ancient temple on earth ... and it is not far from where we are right now.
SABA TÜMER: And you made this research before or after the offer for the [Doritos] ad was made?
MEGAN FOX: I knew this already, because I've watched a show called ”Ancient Aliens”. It sounds silly, but it is about ancient temples and pyramids. I watched the special episode about this temple. I can’t pronounce it correctly right now, but it is a ‘Göbekli Tepe’.
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No, it's actually kind of cute, really, if you can get past the fact that Megan doesn't want anything to do with non-English-speaking men.
The commercial is for CCAA, which is a Brazilian-based language school that is trying to implement a country-wide campaign to push for a universal education of the English language. In short, two young men are shipwrecked (plane-wrecked?) on "Megan Fox Island," and upon finding out that the men aren't bilingual, Megan captures them in a net and ships them o...
Guys, there is an evil, evil part within me that actually rejoices when I reread this line. "Megan Fox might steal Lindsay Lohan's Liz Taylor Role"? Come on. Tell me that's not almost comedic gold. Coming from where Lindsay Lohan used to be and comparing it to what success Megan's had to date? OMG. I'm dying here. From E!:
It appears Lindsay Lohan isn't the only starlet in talks to play Elizabeth Taylor.
Although the Mean Girls star confirmed she is still up for the role in the buzz-worthy biopic to ...
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Jordin Sparks is HAWT. [Starpulse]
Coachella 2012: Dr. Dre and Radiohead! [LA Times]
How do you feel about Brad Pitt's pimp cane? [Amy Grindhouse]
Justin Bieber flashed his pubes. [Yeeeah]
A-Rod's "sex in the sun" face. [Socialite Life]
George Clooney jokes about keeping Stacy Keibler locked up. [Cele|b...
Jennifer Love Hewitt looks awful here. There, I said it. For those of you who still thought that Jennifer paid us to say good things about her, well, I hope you learned your lesson. For better or for worse, nobody tells us what to think, friends, and at this point in time, I think that Jennifer Love Hewitt needs to get out of that ridiculous hot 80's mess of a frock and hop back into one of her beloved bandage dresses. Except wait ... is this a bandage dress as well? Goddamnit, Jennifer! Where did y...