Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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License to Bang

Check out this video about the “STFree Card,” which is basically a license with the date of your last STD test and its results. It’s being marketed to singles to help them...

Pop Quiz, Hot Shot!

Is this: a) The poster for a summer blockbuster involving young mafia members making a name for themselves on the rough-and-tumble streets of New York City b) A new ad for ManHunt.com or c)...

Farewell, Playgirl

Word on the street is that Playgirl will be folding in the near future. I have purchased Playgirl once. A guy I went to college with was in it, or so the rumor went. He was actually this...

Hooray for Parental Visit!

My mom is currently at the Phoenix airport, preparing to fly out to Seattle for her very first visit here since I moved. This means a variety of wonderful things, including but not limited...

I Will Watch Guido Beach

The kids at The Dirty tagged along on a casting call for a new show called Guido Beach, I guess about life on the Jersey Shore. Please, Lord, let this show get made. Every second of these...

90210v2.0: The First Cast Photo

Here’s the first cast photo of the new 90210, which will premiere at some point on some network. The guy standing next to Lori Loughlin looks constipated. You guys, is it just me, or...

Guess What I Did This Morning?

No, no. I did not suck a gigantic cock, although I know, at first glance, that is what this picture indicates. This is a photograph of the pointer finger on my right hand. And, this...

The Dark Cock

Heeeee! A Portland-area theater was changing its marquis from Hancock to The Dark Knight when someone snapped an ill-timed photo. I don’t think this is Photoshopped, but, frankly, I...

OMG Quotables

“If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody anymore, thank God, and evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we...