I’m pretty positive I still don’t buy this story, but it’s always fun to speculate. It’s also kind of fun to say her name along with Justin’s – Mariah...
Our little baby is growing up! Star Magazine has the shocking “first photo” of Justin Bieber‘s infant love child—wait, what? I know, right? And yeah, no, I sincerely... Love it or leave it? I hate it. Really, I do. I actually think this haircut is terrible on him, and it has positively nothing to do with the fact that I kind of detest Justin Bieber for... You know sometimes someone says something completely out of character and your entire opinion of said person changes just because of that one or two little sentences? I hate when that... So you guys all know how upset I was when I found out that bitch-ass Bieber and Mariah Carey were teaming up to desecrate “All I Want for Christmas (Is You)”, and I’m here... Kiddies! I hope you’re feeling that Christmas spirit! Eh? Eh?
OK, I can see that you aren’t. That’s fine. But maybe a little melody from Justin Bieber will jingle your... I know that the Beatles sang a whole song about how you can’t buy love, and everyone’s grandma has always said that money doesn’t buy happiness. But come on, it’s... This girl, I just can’t. I love her. I love Evan Rachel Wood, and it’s weird. It’s weird and bizarre and extremely unlikely, but it’s love nonetheless, and I... I know you guys, it’s a strange notion, but according to a body language expert, Justin Bieber is “insecure” and “controlling.” Whaaaaat?
Dr. Lilian Glass... Did you hear? Maybe, but probably not. I know a lot of you guys don’t go cray-cray over Justin Bieber, nor do you flip your shit over Mariah Carey, so you just may hear it here on... And it’s bad, friends. It’s BAD. Coming from a non-Lil-Wayne fan and a non-Bieber-fan (both of those are me, just in case you were wondering), this is almost nightmarish. And... I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “of course Justin Bieber is a great boyfriend! With those foot massages and that good old-fashioned charm, how could he not...D’aaaawww! It’s Justin Bieber’s...
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NO! What?! GOD! UGH!
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