I was happy to see the Daily Paris posts go. And don't worry, Klipper. Employing a sophisticated and secret mixture of voodoo, herbs and electro-shock therapy, I'm trying to use mind control on Beet to call a moratorium on Daily Lohan, too. Though I suspect that won't happen until Lindsay gets clean-and by "clean" I mean "showered." So, you know, never.
But back to the above-pictured one hundred and seven pound waste of space. Can someone please explain to me what she was doing i...
You know that I love making my little celebridictions around here. My newest? Mariah Carey is pregnant. Sure, these rumors have been milling around about Mariah at fertility clinics and Mariah buying baby furniture and Mariah acting like a moody bitch...oh, wait...
Anyway, my vision is now supported by the photographic and therefore rock-solid evidence of Mariah Carey's bruised arm. This is a classic sign of a woman who has been pincushioned by those vampire nurses. Scoff if you...
I don't actually live in Boston, but it sounds tonier to say that I do. I live in the suburbs where tumbleweeds and stray cows frequently pass by. But on a good day, when the wind blows right, we do get Boston network television. According to Boston NBC affiliate WHDH, we Massachusettsians will not be seeing Jay Leno this fall in his yet-to-be titled ten o'clock show. WHDH-TV has been formulating a new news broadcast, slated to be aired in the ten o'clock slot. Execs at the NBC mother s...
This is shaping up to be a lovely Friday! Kelly should feel so grateful for the rash of "Madonna Goes Crazy, Eats Cheese," stories that will surely be out to press this weekend. Okay, I don't know if this newest blow is of the "consume dairy" category, but it is pretty serious. Madonna's secret pain? She didn't get her way.
As you know, Madge has been in Malawi for the adoption hearing of a little girl, Chifundo "Mercy" James. Wednesday, Madonna's lawyer, Alan Chinula stated that...
Jessica Alba has sworn off consuming anything white. Personally, this just sounds like an excuse to avoid oral, but what do I know? No potatoes, rice, white sugar or flour. Basically, she is removing the will to live, one entree at a time. No wonder she's such a miserable bitch. I've said it before and I'll say it again: You cannot be happy without tater tots in your world.
She's even insisting that people do not eat white foods in her presence or even bring them into her home....
Oh, Dina Lohan. She is every bit the mother I'm so thankful I don't have.
Last night Dina, Lindsay and Ali were doing coke out on the town. They arrived at Hollywood nightclub Villa and were turned away at the door. Why? Because Ali Lohan is fifteen years old, that's why! The door dude said, "No," and Dina replied with the so overused and tired inquiry, "Do you know who I am?" Big sister Linds, who should not be pointing out anyone's mistakes to anyone, chimed in, "You're making a ...
Seriously, Scarlett Johansson should have just done a porn movie. It would have been more subtle than the new Moet & Chandon ad campaign that she has lent her face and tits to.
Can we all take a moment here to count all the subliminal messages in these pictures? Scarlett Johansson bringing a magnum to explosive orgasm. Scarlett Johansson posing with a vase full of vaginae. Scarlett Johansson fisting an ice bucket.
Forget about drinking champagne. I need a cold shower.
[galle...
I'm thinking something along the lines of, "Time to get back to rehab." Kelly Osbourne and her fiance, Luke Worrall frightening innocent bystanders walking down the street in Miami.
You know, I reported about Kelly's engagement a few months ago. I may have mentioned her impending divorce before the ring was even back from being sized at the jewelers. I'm ashamed. But the good news? Kelly has no intention of actually tying the knot for another five years. That's a good thing since ...
O.J. Simpson's lady isn't standing by her man. Since he started serving his thirty-three year sentence in December, Christie Prody moved from their Miami home to Fargo, North Dakota. I'm willing to bet that dealing with deadly floods is more appealing than living with a murderer. I mean, I don't want to say that shacking up with O.J. Simpson qualifies as hard living, but his girlfriend was only twenty-nine when this picture was taken. Aged.
According to the Enquirer, when O.J. foun...
