Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan Suddenly Realizes That Her Canned Tan Makes Her Look Atrocious

57329298lindsaylohan51200985942am Last night was the Sephora store launch of Lindsay Lohan's self-tanner, Sevin Nyne.  Linds appeared looking as patchy as ever and was joined by an attractive older woman or, you know, Ali Don't You Know Who I Am? Lohan. Maybe it's just me, but if I was charging $35 dollars for what is essentially orange spray paint the face of a revolutionary new tanning product, I'd exfoliate.  Or wear pants. My feeling is that Lindsay will be headed off to rehab soon.  Do you think they could add a th...

Quotables

57258777ladygaga4302009111128am-1 “I am totally confident that I am an incredible artist and performer.  I am extremely confident about my body, the way I dress, the way I want to look.  But I have no confidence when it comes to men. Men are a disaster area for me.  It’s so weird because I believe I am super sexy. I believe I am incredible, but I have absolutely no luck with boyfriends.” Lady Gaga explaining to The Sun how unlucky in love she is. I found that, for me, dating started going a lot smoother when I sto...

Kelly McGillis: “I’m A Lesbian”

kellymcgillis-1 You may remember Kelly McGillis as playing the character Charlie Blackwood in Top Gun.  Personally, I remember her role in which she portrayed the lawyer who brought the rapist of Jodie Foster's character to justice in The Accused. Today, McGillis is starting a new phase of her life-as a lesbian. Fifty-one-year young Kelly McGillis is starting her "life in a whole different phase," she told rocker and SheWired vlogger Jennifer Corday -- ostensibly coming out as a lesbian. Corday, in h...

Celebs: They’re Just Like Us!

They fall flat on their faces too! Why, oh why do I find people falling on their faces to be one of the funniest things ever?  And why isn't there video of Jennifer Garner wiping out as she went for a run?  If you're really into gross stuff like pus, WireImage was kind enough to capture close-ups of the injuries.  Why?  I.  Have.  No.   Idea. Garner appeared last night on Late Show with David Letterman and got some TLC from Dave, who isn't sounding so hot himself.  She, in turn, ...

Beyonce Tries To Be Replaceable

16674246beyonce430200982459am-1 Beyonce is in Austria and has already pissed off the people there.  Yesterday she was scheduled to attend a specially arranged tour of the famed Albertine museum.  Instead, she sent a look-alike to appear and pose with the director of the museum so that Beyonce could go shopping instead. The museum spokesperson, Verena Dahlitz, summed it up like this:  "What a cheek.  We were a little doubtful yesterday, but weren't really sure. It could have been her." What the people at Albertine don'...

Boy, Bea Arthur Didn’t Time Her Death Very Well

5821202beaarthur4292009121335pm-1 I think it's important for an author to share personal bias right up front.  So, let me just tell you:  Bea Arthur was one of the most talented comedic geniuses ever.  Just.  Amazing. Imagine my dismay to learn that Bea Arthur is not on the cover of People this week.  Now, I'm not one of those cat crazies who saves every TV Guide ever printed and catalogs them in numbered plastic sheaths.  But I do have a few issues of People that are significant to me.  Like one from the late sevent...

Just Because

"Pull My Hair Out" video from back in 2004 when Samantha Ronson had hair and body fat....

Wall Street Is About To Get A Sequel. How Timely.

16679282michaeldouglas429200983516am-1 I feel so bad for people over the age of thirty.  Because really, the past few years of movies, television shows and music are just a rerun of 1960-1990.  And there are no signs that it's stopping. Michael Douglas and Oliver Stone are back together again with a sequel to their 1987 hit “Wall Street.” Douglas is reprising his role as Gordon Gekko and Stone is on board again to direct the sequel, which for now has the working title “Wall Street 2,” said 20th Century Fox spokesman Gregg Brilliant. Brilliant said the project is timely and relevant given the state of th...

Sean Penn And Robin Wright Split…Again.

16606442seanpenn4292009103733am-1 Evil Beet Gossip is going green today and totally recycling this story as originally reported back in December 2007 when these two crazy kids filed the first time.  They eventually reconciled in April, 2008. Now here we are.  It's April, 2009, Robin Wright is still wearing boring black dresses, Sean Penn is still a dick and they still hate each other.  In other words, nothing has changed. Penn (again!) filed for a legal separation on April 24th.  They have been married for thirteen...

Lane Garrison Free From Jail

11371018lanegarrison4292009102006am-1 It was November 2007 when Prison Break star Lane Garrison was sentenced to forty months in prison for a coke-fueled DUI that left one teen dead and another injured.  Yet he is free today.  I really don't understand jail math, but his early release has something to do with getting one day off for every day he served or something like that.  Some sort of buy one get one free deal like they have at Payless. A condition of Lane's freedom is that he must enter a rehab program.  And really, w...

Could Jon & Kate Plus 8 Could Soon Be Renamed Kate Plus 8 Minus One Big, Fat Cheater?

jongosselin Oh, Jon Gosselin, father to many... Hot on the heels of February's drunk and cheating Jon Gosselin story with pictures, there is yet another drunk and cheating Jon Gosselin story with pictures.  And before seven hundred and fifty three of you respond with, "That's not him!" he's already acknowledged being out at 2 a.m. with his "friend." On April 18th, while wife Kate was in Bellevue, Washington peddling her new book Eight Little Faces, Jon Gosselin went to some club called Legends.  Before I go any further, how does a father of eight...

Julia Roberts: Runaway Mouth

16678074juliaroberts428200953957pm-1 So Beet emails me today and says, and I'm paraphrasing here, "Do you want to cover this Julia Roberts story?  I know you have issues with her."  Isn't she the politest Managing Editor yet?  What she really means is that I have a completely irrational, illogical and completely inappropriate level of hatred for eighty percent of Hollywood including Julia Roberts. In my defense, I don't hate for the sake of hate.  Julia Roberts is a trout-mouthed homewrecker.  And not just a homewrecker...
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