Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jessica Simpson Is “Sad, Mad and Confused” Over How To Work a Ziploc

Jessica_Simpson I'm just kidding y'all!  Jessica Simpson is "sad, mad and confused" because she just listened to some of her past CDs and can't figure out how she ever became famous.  Ack!  Kidding again! Jessica Simpson is "sad, mad and confused" over being dumped by Tony Romo.  Apparently she never saw it coming.  Which certainly leaves me a bit confused.  Everyone in the world knew it.  How could she not? Here's a life lesson:  If you are telling anyone who will listen that you are getting h...

Looks Like Katherine Heigl Won’t Have To Expend Any Energy Declining Her Emmy Nom This Year

54318eu_heigl_b_gr_03evilbeetgossip Remember last year when Katherine Heigl withdrew her name from consideration for a Best Actress Emmy nomination for her role as Izzy on Grey's Anatomy?  Well this year, though her character was dramatically battling a brain tumor, she didn't receive a nomination.  You piss on the Emmys, you can expect to pay the price for seasons to come.  The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences will never forget! It seems like the nominees named were pretty much as expected except no recognition ...

Wanna Take Bets? I’ve Got 20 Bucks On “Dehydration”

   I have days that I feel down.  I've had about 21 consecutive days like that.  Until today.  Today I woke up and was restored in my faith.  Reassured of God's love for me.  It was today that I realized there really is a light at the end of any tunnel of darkness.  He speaks to me, He sends me signals.  Sure, my miraculous messages may come via a less traditional method than Virgin Mary sightings on a Pringle or Amy Winehouse opting for water over vodka, but I consider Mischa Barton's "medic...

Ding Dong! Avon Calling!

57581604hughjackman715200942632pm Hugh Jackman is set to star in a new 20th Century Fox production titled Avon Man.  The main plot has Jackman's character, a used car salesman, being laid off from his job.  In an effort to survive, he takes a job as a door-to-door salesperson peddling Avon products. I don't think Avon does the whole cold call thing anymore, but it's a slow news day so let's just fantasize for a minute.  Because if Hugh Jackman came strolling up my walk, I'd be buying every bottle of Skin So Soft that he had ...

Twenty Pounds in 28 Days? That Seems Healthy

khloek In case you've ever wondered why so many young girls have eating disorders, I offer you this quote from a Life & Style article in which Khloe Kardashian talks about how fat she was: “People [even in more recent years] would come up to me and be like, ‘Oh, you’re the fat, funny one.’ I would wonder, is that who I am?  I’m now a size 6, but I’ve been up to a size 10 in the past ." Wow.  Khloe Kardashian, 5'9" Khloe Kardashian was a size 10.  What do we tell our young daug...

Today In Duh …

55035534latoyajackson715200930904pm Guys, you aren't going to believe this!  Remember the other day when I told you all about LaToya Jackson and her allegations of murder regarding her brother Michael?  She was really full of opinions and gave a four-hour interview to News of the World.  Not only did she claim that MJ was offed, she seemed to know who the guilty parties were.  Well, this is a pretty earth-shattering revelation, but I guess LaToya was paid for that interview.  I know, I know ... I was shocked too!  It'...

That Fornarina Clothing Company Is Still In Business?

fornarina10 In January, we talkedabout Lindsay and her modeling gig with Fornarina.  Well, not only is this company still in business, but they haven't fired Linds yet!  Here are some pics of her both on set and backstage -- and you know she's texting Sam! -- posing in some fashionable threads for their 2010 Fall/Winter collection.  Because, modeling is what she really wants to do!  Modeling, acting and producing.  But really modeling!  And snorting, natch. [gallery] ...

Harry Potter Had A Huge Night!

57872246harrypotter7152009123834pm Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is on target to be the largest Wednesday midnight opening ever, with $20M in ticket sales.  The record was previously held by Dark Knight with an $18M open.  It's been two years since Harry Potter fans got their fix.  Order of the Phoenix opened in 2007, also with a Wednesday midnight opening, and brought in $12M.  Did any of you go see it?  Thoughts?  Reviews? UPDATE:  Looks like it's more like $22M....

So, Like, Are Will And Jada Smith Splitting Up?

56826509jadasmith7152009115138am I'm highly suspicious of a couple, any couple, when one or both of them spend all their time talking about how much intercourse they have.  I think people who are truly happy together don't have to constantly be telling everyone how truly happy they are.  Will and Jada Smith are always talking about how they keep their marriage alive by doing it at their friends' houses and now Jada is back on the Too Damn Much Information plan, by talking about their pre-Oscar tryst with Shape magazine: "W...

I Never Want To See This Again

  I find these condescending -- "Show your kids that you've still got it" -- screechy little non-talents absolutely offensive in trying to attempt any Neil Diamond song.  That's how I feel.  I'm not changing my mind.  Ever. This video is NSFHC aka not suitable for human consumption....

Bridget Jones Returns!

56606972reneezellweger7152009102537am It looks like Renee Zellweger can start eating again!  Bridget Jones 3is in the works, with filming expected to start at the end of the year.  Whenever a Bridget Jones movie is released, the media talks about how much weight Zellweger gained for the role.  Is it my imagination, or does "fat" Renee just look like a totally normal, healthy person?  I'm curious to see if Zellweger ballooning to a size 10 puts the nail in the coffin of her new relationship with my ex-fiance Bradley Cooper.  I don't know how he feels about ...
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