Today's Evil Beet Gossip

And This Is Why Double Dating Is a Bad Idea

LeAnn Rimes First of all, when did Leann Rimes start looking like such a jackal?  Was she always this creepy looking?  I want to carve the three seeds out of her head, cram a candle in there, and put her on my porch for Halloween. Okay, so Leann Rimes and actor Eddie Cibrian have officially left their spouses and are a couple at this point.  Eddie's wife, Brandi Glanville, has been squawking to the media since the springtime about Leann's stalking ways.  Now, she's still giving interviews -- the m...

Size 12 Model Poses Naked in Glamour

picture-25 Her name is Lizzi Miller.  She's 20, 5-foot-11 and weighs 180 pounds and she's got a tummy.  She also appeared naked in Glamour's September issue for an article about body acceptance.  It was just one photograph but it has created a huge stir -- almost all positive. At a size 12 or 14, Miller falls into the bracket of the average size of an American woman.  I know there are strongly divided camps here regarding BMIs and dress sizes, curves and health.  I don't spend a lot of time hanging out with naked chicks, but I'd be wil...

Can We Please Review The Term “Diva”?

57810927paulabdul8252009115631am Well it's not a permanent job, but Paula Abdul has been tapped to emcee VH1's Divas special on September 17th.  This comes on the heels of her surprising departure from American Idol.  It seems like an odd choice -- "diva" is not a noun or adjective I would ever assign to Paula.  Of course, I wouldn't call Jordin Sparks a diva either and she's going to be singing. Somewhere along the way the divas who demand all white furniture in their dressing rooms and Cristal on ice were replaced with some singing Girl Scout tr...

The Tribe Has Spoken

Lindsay Lohan It's not like Lindsay Lohan is ever home -- she spends her nights weeping on the front step of Samantha Ronson's home -- but it hasn't stopped a trail of unsavory traffic from breaking into her home.  The neighbors want Lohan out.  “The truth is that this is a very quiet neighborhood and there have been no break-ins apart from at Lindsay Lohan’s house.  Since she moved in last November it has been a nightmare with all the paparazzi parking in our driveways waiting for her.  This is a really n...

Jessica Biel Will Leave You Infected

57413532jessicabiel825200990057am I've been saying it for ages, but the folks at McAfee Antivirus Software have confirmed it:  Looking at Jessica Biel can make you sick.  More accurately, she can make your computer sick. McAfee has released the top fifteen celebrity searches that can lead to your computer being infected with a virus or malware.  Biel has a 20% infection rate!  I don't know if the stats would be the same with other anti-virus softwares; I never had a positive experience with McAfee. Here's the full list:         Position Â...

Tonight I’d Like To Tell You About How I Pissed Off Travis Barker

Instead of telling you, since it's late here and I've already written a full ten pieces, I'm going to let the pictures tell the story ... Needless to say, Travis Barker is way more focused on publicly insulting a woman he once loved enough to create humans with, and so not focused on what is best for his children.  What would be best is shutting the fuck up and calling his lawyer if he thinks his kids are in danger.  Because saying "My babies mom is a pile of shit" has nothing to do with the threat of child molestation.  It's just an insult for the sake of insult. Ugh, I guess I did have something to say about it after all.  And for the record, I will definitely still be following this short-sighted twit.  Oh, and he JUST deleted the "pile of shit" tweet.  Success! My Tweet picture-20Instead of telling you, since it's late here and I've already written a full ten pieces, I'm going to let the pictures tell the story ... Needless to say, Travis Barker is way more focused on publicly insulting a woman he once loved enough to create humans with, and so not focused on what is best for his children.  What would be best is shutting the fuck up and calling his lawyer if he thinks his kids are in danger.  Because saying "My babies mom is a pile of shit" has nothing to do with the...

Maybe That Divorced Dads Pilot Didn’t Get Picked Up?

Jon Gosselin Jon Gosselin has opened up a lemonade stand to help supplement his income.  Sure, the paps are reporting it as Jon participating in a fundraiser in hopes of keeping the local volunteer fire station open (and if that's even true, I'm sure they were filming it for a J&K+8 episode), but I think we know the truth.  Speaking of truth ... Jon seems to be trying to communicate something via his shirt.  "Lies."  I'm getting all Carnac the Magnificent on your ass -- if the answer is "Lies...

Quotables

picture-18 "You know I never took this thing seriously. In addition, I've let the director know that I would be doing the show for the wrong reasons as I am not, in any way, attracted to the chick." An email excerpt from the most recent Bachelorette fiance, Ed Swiderski.  This was one snippet of correspondence sent to one of his two girlfriends while he was also vying for the heart of Jillian Harris.  Reality Steve has all of Ed's email exchanges on his site, including proclamations of love and promi...

Today In Maturity

picture-17 I wanted to share Travis Barker's latest Tweet with you.  Sadly, it's proof that not even a near-death experience can provide illumination for everyone.  You know, maybe Shanna Moakler -- that's who he's referring to -- is a pile of shit.  I don't know -- I don't know her.  It doesn't even matter.  She's the mother of his children and putting these thoughts in print does no service to their children. Sometimes a fuckwit is just always going to be a fuckwit.  Not even a narrow escape fr...

Melanie Griffith Enters Rehab, Shocks No One

57658170melaniegriffith824200952913pm Melanie Griffith has checked into Cirque Lodge in Utah.  It worked so well for Lindsay Lohan, I can't wait to see what magic it works on our gal Mel.  Melanie Griffith is an interesting drunk.  Like, I've always known that she's a coke head lush but she manages to not embarrass herself in public very often and I don't think she has any DUIs.  She flies under the radar. Her publicist released the statement that all publicists say, regarding their clients:  That Melanie elected to enter into rehab just as a checkup on her ongoing sob...

I Hope You’re Sitting Down

16853419michaeljackson824200950643pm The results of Michael Jackson's autopsy have been leaked.  Cause of death?  Murder by ingestion of a lethal combination of drugs.  Shocking, I know. Because the coroner's office hasn't made an official statement, the source spoke under the condition of anonymity.  He said that propofol as well as two other sedatives were found in Jackson's bloodstream.  They would have been administered in the hours preceeding his death by Dr. Conrad Murray.  The affadavit also states that the propofol wasn't ordered or received by Murray; he discovered it at Michael's home. Listen, there is no way Dr. Conrad Murray will be charged...

Lindsay’s Home Security Challenges About To End

Erin Muller, Michael Lohan Kelly told us this weekend about how Lindsay Lohan's house had been burgled ... again.  Well, stalker Daddy Lohan is inserting himself into the situation getting involved. "I am coming into town to work with private investigators in order to gather evidence which will be turned over to LAPD and the detectives assigned to the case," Lohan told E! News. "This time, these evildoers will be caught." And with Papa Lohan on the case, no one seems to have higher hopes for swift justice than, well, Papa Lohan himself, who apparently is both mad as ...