Dear Mom, You've been in the news quite a bit lately considering your biggest claim to fame is being the Noxema girl.  It all started a few years ago when you hit and killed a 9 year old and never served any time.  You were lucky, especially considering the fact that your cell phone was the cause of your distraction.  More recently, some really boring (non) sex tape was released.  I hope to never see you and Dad like that again.  Traumatizing!  And now, you are anticipating my arrival into the world in just a few short months. I'm not just writing to catch up.  There's a reason for my letter.  I know that accidents happen, and I don't believe that you intended to kill little Jorge Cruz, Jr., but you did.  Therefore, the rest of your life should be about you dedicating yourself to doing good for others.  You cannot replace him, but there are so many great things you can do to make this world a better place in his memory. For example, I want you to respect life, especially mine.  I'm here and trying to grow my major organ systems and I have high hopes for my brain development, but some days it's really hard to breathe.  Please, stop smoking so I'll have a chance at a healthy birth weight, fully developed lungs and an asthma-free life.  I am your second chance.  Don't fuck it up. Love, Fetus />Dear Mom, You've been in the news quite a bit lately considering your biggest claim to fame is being the Noxema girl.  It all started a few years ago when you hit and killed a 9 year old and never served any time.  You were lucky, especially considering the fact that your cell phone was the cause of your distraction.  More recently, some really boring (non) sex tape was released.  I hope to never see you and Dad like that again.  Traumatizing!  And now, you are anticipating my arrival into...