Coke Didn’t Kill Billy Mays. Kaboom! October 15, 2009WendieUncategorized We were all surprised when the media reports claimed that cocaine contributed to Billy Mays' death. I couldn't picture Mays as a dude with some big drug problem (though he was a little hyper) and was shocked when the coroner's office cited it as a factor in his passing. Well, there's new news today. As it turns out, the cocaine wasn't used on the day of his death and didn't cause him to die. According to the medical examiner, Mays was an occasional cocaine user and didn't use the drug i...
Linds Isn’t Done With Ungaro Yet October 15, 2009WendieLindsay Lohan Lindsay has finally explained that fuckfest of a fashion flop, better known as the Ungaro collection that she helped create. Â As it turns out, she isn't just some directionless "actress" who thought she could throw her name on a label and have it be successful -- actually, that's exactly the case -- she just ran out of time. That makes sense to me. Â After all, when you're pressed for time, churning out a collection of sequined and heart-shaped pasties, nipple tassels (though LL claims she didn't know about those ahead of time) and ill...
It’s Over! October 15, 2009WendieJon and Kate Plus Eight, Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin After years of watching the little Gosselin babies grow into resilient little children, the Jon & Kate Plus 8 disaster is over. After Jon's insistence that the children not be filmed any longer, TLC really wasn't left with any choice but to cancel the show. The last episode will air in November. What does this mean? No more constant "I do it for my kids, it's all about my kids" crap from Kate, and Jon can officially breathe as loud as he wants to without fear of admonishment. I guess Jon anti...
Keanu Reeves? You Are NOT The Father! October 15, 2009WendieKeanu Reeves Back in May I told you about some crazy "I don't need a lawyer, I'm acting on my own behalf" chick who claimed that Keanu Reeves fathered at least one, if not all four, of her adult children. Â Reeves said he had never met this potential baby mama. Â Well, the results are in and the search must go on, because these kids are not fathered by Keanu. If this was all unfolding on Maury, this is the point where Reeves would jump up out of his chair thus knocking it over, whilst simultaneously pum...
Toni Better Pony … Up Some Cash, That Is October 14, 2009WendieUncategorized The banking crisis is hitting so many people and not even fame can protect Toni Braxton. Â Bank of America is looking to foreclose on Braxton's shack due to $12,000 in missing mortgage payments. Â Considering that the house is located in California, she's probably one month late. God, I hate banks and the predatory ways that they choose or chose to lend to people. Â However, hasn't Toni sold like, a billion trillion records? Â I'd think that $12K would be pocket change. Â Rest assured, now t...
Just Because October 14, 2009WendieJimmy "who?" Fallon, Jimmy Fallon, Uncategorized Jimmy Fallon's Late Night show might suck, but he did a pretty funny skit last night. Â He dressed up as Billy Ray Cyrus and rapped a song to explain his daughter's departure from Twitter and to reassure his fans that he is still on Twitter. Â Really, it's all just an excuse for Jimmy Fallon to publicly make an ass of himself. Â And I'm okay with that....
Stranger Things Have Happened. I Just Don’t Know What. October 14, 2009WendieLarry Birkhead Oh, sweet Jaysus. Â Just when I think that there isn't another possible angle for reality television, the fates prove me wrong by allowing another ridiculous premise to hit the airwaves. Â Are you ready for this? It seems that Larry Birkhead -- Anna Nicole's unlikely baby daddy -- might be appearing on Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker. Â You know that show -- the one with the chick that looks like a dude whose trying to look like Cher is the matchmaker who charges clients thousands even tho...
Uh, Beet? You May Want To Think About That “Successful Author” Goal October 14, 2009WendieLeona Lewis Holy shit! Â Today, 2006 X Factor winner and singer Leona Lewis was in central London signing copies of her autobiography -- how does she have a life story yet? Â She's 24! -- when a man came up from the line and punched Lewis in the face. The singer is okay and her assailant was apprehended and arrested at Waterstone's bookstore. Â No word yet on a motive, but the nation is astounded that no such similar assault has been committed against "author" Lauren Conrad. Â Or "author" Paris Hilton. Â...
R.I.P. Lou Albano October 14, 2009WendieUncategorized Pro-wrestler "Captain" Lou Albano died today at the age of 76. Â People isn't reporting an exact cause of death, but he was hospitalized earlier this week before being sent home under hospice care. Albano was very well-known in the '80s playing the role -- unless you're one of those people that believes wrestling is real -- of an angry manager. Â Really though, don't we all truly remember Lou as Cyndi Lauper's angry, finger-wagging father in the "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" video? Though...
So. Friggin. Fat. October 14, 2009WendieUncategorized Last week Ralph Lauren came under fire for publishing a picture of model Filippa Hamilton looking atrociously gaunt. Â It's a clear example of abuse by Photoshop. Now Hamilton has revealed that she was fired by Ralph Lauren for being too fat. Â The model told New York Daily News that the Ralph Lauren company was like family until this spring when they kicked her fat ass -- as shown in second picture above -- out the door. Â Does anyone see the irony in the fact that this chick is posing in front of a bunch of candy dispensers? Â Yea...
Yeah, Scarlett Johansson is Still Doing That Singing Thing October 14, 2009WendieScarlett Johansson I'd like to thank my friends over at Celebitchy for actually watching the whole eight minutes of this video of ScarJo rehearsing and then performing on Ellen. Â I could only manage 3.2 minutes before I started sprouting unnatural chest hairs. Â Incidentally, Johansson giving Ellen a singing tutorial in the beginning is the most hysterical and ironic thing I've ever seen. Â It's like Ellen holding a seminar on how to suck a dick -- it just doesn't make any sense. Â Teach what you know, Scar ... tea...
Payback’s A Bitch October 14, 2009WendieJon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin Jon and Kate were back in court yesterday trying to work out their financial woes with a court-appointed arbitrator. Â Remember how Kate accused Jon of taking out a bunch of money and Jon accused Kate of taking a bunch of money and they both denied it? Â Well the truth is out and the liar is -- this is where you'd expect to hear a drum roll but I'm limited by this medium -- Jon! The court has ordered Jon -- oh, did you hear that he's half Jewish now that he's dating Hailey Glassman? -- to return $180,000 back...