Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Quiz: What Is The Only Thing More Annoying Than Miley Cyrus?

   Answer:  Her sister Brandy.  This video is the sensory equivalent of chewing tinfoil.  You've been warned. Miley cut her delicate uvula on a piece of dressing-drenched chicken.  Chicken is my life.  I eat chicken more often than I shower, okay?  Consuming it has never injured me.  Hell, I've even forayed into eating salted razors, more commonly referred to as tortilla chips.  My uvula has remained intact.  I call BS on this seasoned poultry tale. Also, Cyrus' parents need to fire...

They Did It!

56418900fergie110200982144pm I wasn't sure it would happen, but it did.  Fergie and totally hot Josh Duhamel tied the knot last night in Malibu.  The diverse attendees list included Mario Lopez, Stacy Keibler, Kid Rock, Slash, Kate Hudson and Molly Sims.  Thousands of white magnolias and roses were involved, as were ten bridesmaids dressed in black. Somebody, hold me.  Please?...

I Haven’t Seen This Many Whores in One Place Since The Last Hilton Birthday Party

56458730blairunderwood110200971319pm The stars turned out in force to attend all the swag (Stuff We All Get or Slutty Whores Acquiring Garbage, depending on how you view these things) galleries being held in honor of the Golden Globes.  So, basically, famous folk don't have to Christmas shop.  Have you ever seen so much ugly shit in all your life?  You know these celebs aren't using this crap.  They pose with it, get it, and give it away at the holidays.  Absolute whorefest. As I was flipping through the pics, I was ...

Quotables

kellyclarksoncover "They have definitely photo-shopped the crap out of me..."  Kelly Clarkson taking to her blog to share her new album cover.  Can I just take this moment to publicly claim my love for her?  I'm letting go of the shame and just admitting it....

Vegan Spelt Bread Can Be Used As A Deadly Weapon

56461646heathermills110200953807pm Heather Mills appeared today at the Healthy Meal Cook-A-Thon in New York.  She spent her time teaching apprentices how to prepare healthy, vegan meals.  She's not just a gold digger; she's a chef!  What do you think of her new hairdo?  Most people look better with less hair in my opinion.  As you know, I'm not a huge fan of macrobiotic or vegan diets due to my close and personal relationship with cheese and general happiness.  It appears that the dude in the background of the main pictu...

I Thought This Happened Months Ago

16045513bridget-marquardt110200944820pm Bridget Marquardt, the last of the Girls Next Door disbanded bunnies, has left the manse.  I have to admit that the extent of my GND experience revolves around being drunk and watching a marathon of it because I was too out of it to find the remote.  I couldn't figure out why Hugh Hefner had the Barker Beauties at his house.  Of what I do remember, I'm pretty sure Bridget was the kinda mellow, boring one...right? Either way, she has moved out of the Playboy Mansion.  I thought that h...

Russell Crowe Needs To Scarf Down Another Vegemite Sandwich And Calm The Fuck Down

55893136russellcrowe110200915736pm Russell Crowe.  Do you remember when he was all hot and box office magic?  Me neither, but I guess he was at some point.  Apparently, he is in the land of the lost and thinks he's still relevant in Hollywood.  I could try to blame his assholeishness on the carbs, but I think Russell Crowe was always a phone-flinging bitch. In pre-production of his new movie, Nottingham, he's been demanding rewrites, a new director and now his costar Sienna Miller has been "released".  The media is ...

Your Daily Lohan

lalohan3 It's the weekend but I know the LaLohan fans out there need their fix.  This one's for you.  Linds is the newest model for PFornarina.  I keep reading about Fornarina being some seriously high-end Italian crap but the only stuff I can find online is $200 dollar dresses which is not high-end.  Regardless, I think she looks really hot in these pictures but the cuffed up jeans?  That was the haute couture look of seventh grade for me.  Oh, and what happened to her ass?  It's, like, ...

Dude, You Need to Cancel

56211771johntravolta1102009120647pm Not knowing the Travolta family personally, I will still bet that this has been the worst week of their lives.  They are mourning the loss of their only son Jett and I am sure that their entire focus right now is on survival. John Travolta was scheduled to present at the Golden Globes tomorrow night and is also nominated, along with Bolt co-star Miley Cyrus, for Best Original Song.  And though I never try to estimate any person's level of grief, I am assuming he won't be attending......

Brotherly Love

15109332michaelchall1102009115108am Michael C. Hall married his Dexter co-star, actress Jennifer Carpenter.  Their nuptials are not going to be written into the series, which is a relief since they play siblings.  They actually got married on New Year's Eve but are just releasing a statement now.  I give credit to anyone who has even a modicum of celebrity being able to keep their wedding a secret.  Or perhaps it just went down that way because no one cares.  Aw...sad. Hall divorced Wife #1 in 2006 and started secre...

The Travolta Family Releases A Statement

51528901johntravolta14200973855pm Regarding the tragic loss of their son, Jett, the following statement was released on Kelly Preston's website: We would like to extend our deepest and most heartfelt thanks to everyone who has sent their love and condolences. Jett was the most wonderful son that two parents could ever ask for and lit up the lives of everyone he encountered. We are heartbroken that our time with him was so brief. We will cherish the time we had with him for the rest of our lives. We have received many messa...
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