Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Now This Is A Couple I Can Get Behind!

56684977mickeyrourke2112009110406am Yes!  Please let this be true!  I know it's only The Daily Mirror, but they are claiming that Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love have been dating for the past few weeks.  Wouldn't it be great if these two turned into the next Bennifer?  Like, we could see them at every premiere and Waffle House opening with Red Bull cans in hand and white powder on their noses?  I can already see the OK! magazine cover of them with their crack-addicted twins and the headline, "Our Babies Changed Our Lives....

Salma Hayek’s Baby Is Trilingual and Sees Dead People

56490141salmahayek2112009105653am May I ask a question?  Really a series of questions:  If Rachael Ray hadn't been sanctioned by Oprah, would anyone know who she is?  What is wrong with Rachael Ray's voice and why won't she fix it?  Would anyone be willing to sign a petition to outlaw the use of words such as "Yumm-o" and "Dee-lish"?  Thank you for any insight you can provide. Salma Hayek taped a segment on The Rachael Ray Show, airing today, in which she talks about her amazing little wondertot.  Apparently little sixteen...

Michelle Obama Graces The Cover Of Vogue

michelleobamavogue Michelle Obama, photographed by Annie Leibovitz, on the March cover of Vogue.  I'm sure Ann Coulter is having a conniption fit over the Jackie O inspired sleeveless dress.  The First Lady's dress is by designer Jason Wu, the man responsible for her inaugural ball gown. Thoughts?...

Conversation With Robert Pattinson Proves To Be More Effective Than A Restraining Order

56660770robert-pattison210200983858pm Twilight's Robert Pattinson is really boring.  Last year while filming a movie in Spain, America's favorite vampire had a stalker.  Now, let's get the facts first:  this woman was fixated on the actor and stood outside his apartment all day, every day for hours and hours on end.  Creepy, right?  He got bored and went to dinner with her.  Who the hell intentionally dines with their obsessive pursuer?  Maybe he was operating under the theory that the crazy chicks are usually really good in bed....

Katherine Heigl Loses Her Number One Reason For Complaining

13722591katherineheigl211200973404am Grey's Anatomy cast member, James Pickens Jr.,  has announced that Katherine Heigl and T.R. Knight are leaving the show.  Seriously, I don't possess the blogger hate that seems so prevalent for Katherine Heigl, but it will be a nice reprieve to not have to listen to her constant bitching and complaining about the show that made her famous.  I just want to say "Listen, Katie, you were a nobody before Grey's.  So suck it up, fuck your dead fiance and cash your paycheck."  I don't think there is...

Quotables

SPL14408_011 "Britney has a beautiful soul. We share something really special. The truth about us will come out eventually, but it's not for me to talk about. I love her...I still love Britney.  I'm her boyfriend." Adnan Ghalib, in a Heat magazine interview, in which he insists that he and Britney are still in a relationship despite the restraining order she has filed against him....

Eight Arrested For Intent To Have Munchies In The Company Of An Olympic Hero

56428034michaelphelps2102009103856am1 Holy shit.  Yeah, I get that pot is illegal, but does anyone thing that this has just escalated to an unreal level?  Even the governor of South Carolina thinks it's meaningless. Eight people were arrested this week in connection with the Michael Phelps bong incident-seven with possession and one with distribution.  Police confiscated the bong that some its owner tried to sell on Ebay for $100,000. Phelps has not been charged yet, even though he's the one person in the photograph who is actually taking a hi...

Rihanna Isn’t Cooperating With Authorities Any Longer? Please Let This Be Untrue.

56668329rihanna2102009100624am I seriously feel a little sick reading this.  Like Paris Hilton fragrance sets, it seems like there is a new version of the Chris Brown/Rihanna story being released every ten minutes.  This most recent edition is one of the more disturbing: Now MediaTakeOut.com can EXCLUSIVELY report that Rihanna does NOT want Chris Brown to be criminally punished for the alleged assault. According to an EXTREMELY reliable insider, Rihanna is NO LONGER assisting investigators in their criminal case against Chris Brown. Unfortunately for Chris, that’s probably not going to make the charges go away. Police claim that, on the sce...

Octo-Mom Isn’t On Welfare But Does Accept Food Vouchers Delivered To Her From Fairies

Didn't baby factory, Nadya Suleman, tell us that she refused to accept welfare?  Yeah, she totally lied.  She gets $490 a month in food stamps.  Even her mouthpiece knows it's bullshit.  Suleman's spokesperson, Michael Furtney explained, "In her view these are just payments made for people with legitimate needs and are not, in her view, welfare.  She just believes that there are programs for people with needs and she and her children qualify for some of them." Yes, such programs for people with needs do exist.  Those programs are called welfare. So, listen.  I have nothing against welfare programs.  Sometimes people need help; every child needs a meal.  What I do get pissed about is this:  if you can't afford to feed six kids, why go get implanted with eight more? />Didn't baby factory, Nadya Suleman, tell us that she refused to accept welfare?  Yeah, she totally lied.  She gets $490 a month in food stamps.  Even her mouthpiece knows it's bullshit.  Suleman's spokesperson, Michael Furtney explained, "In her view these are just payments made for people with legitimate needs and are not, in her view, welfare.  She just believes that there are programs for people with needs and she and her children qualify for some of them." Yes, such programs for people with...

Elle Style Awards 2009

56686079courtneylove210200971719am Dudes, that's Courtney "Thank Christ This Wall Is Here" Love last night at the ELLE Style Awards.  What the hell happened to her?  Oh, wait, I know the answer to that.  Diet and exercise and most certainly not gastric bypass.  I'm addicted to all those TLC shows like Half Ton Mom, Half Ton Teen, Half Ton Dad and have lost entire weekends to their obesity clinic marathons.  One thing that all the bypass patients seem to experience is flabby excess skin from rapid post-surgery weight loss-kind of like Courtney has on her sides and back.  Except Love's is due to diet and e...

Lily Allen Concludes That Googling Herself To Figure Out How She Got Home The Previous Night Could Be An Indication That She Has A Problem

55050718lilyallen292009110056am It was just a couple of weeks ago that Lily Allen announced she was off booze for a while and sticking to cocaine.  In that interview for, uh, Interview, Allen said that her drinking wasn't out of control; she just didn't want to provide any ammunition to the press.  She must have rethought that angle. Now, Lily admits that last summer she passed out in bed and after awaking to a party in her house, couldn't figure out how she got home.  She had to Google herself to piece together the events ...

Forget About Chris Brown For A Minute…

16530526gwynethpaltrow292009100033am2 Can we issue a warrant for the arrest of Gwyneth Paltrow's stylist?  Her Grammy ensemble left me dumb and blind for several minutes. Also behind the scenes at the Grammy Awards, Nicole Kidman's facial muscles have left the building, Queen Latifah is still working on her healthy weight, Leann Rimes' husband struck the "Yes, she's pregnant!" pose,  and Katy Perry's performance dress completely cancels out all the positive that had been accomplished by her red carpet look. [gallery]...