Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The One in Which I Actually Sort of Feel Bad For Snooki

Evidently, she was kinda responsible for the drunk-driving death of a friend way back in 2004 when she, herself, was a minor.  Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi had a basement party, which during said party, a friend by the name of MichaelTruncali, drank himself into oblivion and decided to take the old road home. Unfortunately for Michael and his family, he didn't make it home.  The Marlboro High School senior's blood alcohol level was .18 -- more than twice the legal limit in New York -- and had...

Phil Spector Gets a Jailhouse Beatdown

Too bad they didn't waste the freak. According to family friends, Spector "mouthed off" to the wrong inmate and ended up with a busted nose, bruised face and lost a few teeth during the battle of epic proportions. While Spector's current wife -- who could be his granddaughter, incidentally -- claims that he was not, in fact, beaten up in prison, his attorney claims that Spector's always had a mouth on him and it's hardly surprising that he ends up taking one to the kisser, in one way or anothe...

In Other News …

In real life, Lindsay Lohan did not rescue 40 child workers.  It must have been a drug-induced hallucination or whatever, but as it stands, she might be banned from India.  You go, girl.  [Celebslam] Whitney Houston looks much better ... when she's airbrushed.  [popbytes] Rachel McAdams to star in The Orphanage reboot?  [Pajiba] Tom Cruise wants a son to pass along his poisoned gene pool.   [Celebitchy] Reese Witherspoon hooking up with a guy and without checking out a Wiki, I don't even know who he is. [Amy Grindhouse] Coco loves "boobies", likes taking home other women to please Ice-T. [cityrag] Jesse James' newest garden tool is bummed that she only received $30k for her side of the story.  [Pop on the Pop] Joslyn James is still ridick, still trying to gain another iota of fame.  [Zelda Lily] />In real life, Lindsay Lohan did not rescue 40 child workers.  It must have been a drug-induced hallucination or whatever, but as it stands, she might be banned from India.  You go, girl.  [Celebslam] Whitney Houston looks much better ... when she's airbrushed.  [popbytes] Rachel McAdams to star in The Orphanage reboot?  [Pajiba] Tom Cruise wants a son to pass along his poisoned gene pool.   [Celebitchy] Reese Witherspoon hooking up with a guy and without checking out a Wiki, I d...

Feelin’ in the Pink Yet, Brit?

After on-again, off-again rumors of her split with boyfriend Jason Trawick, Britney Spears is looking a little worse for the wear.  She was spotted recently donning a wife-beater, pantaloons (if that's even what they're called ... I haven't seen anyone wearing anything like that since I visited that whorehouse in the Old West in 1864) and sheer pantyhose. Girlfriend's weave is all askew and she's properly sporting her famed, crazy-pants bright red lipstick in the gallery photos.  Oh, and ...

Penelope Cruz to Star Alongside Johnny Depp in Latest Pirates Installment

Penelope Cruz sure has a reason to celebrate these days, and I'm not just talking because she's one of the most gorgeous women I've ever seen -- Cruz gets to reprise a side-by-side role starring with Johnny Depp in the latest edition of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Reps for both Cruz and the Pirates franchise have finally confirmed that the actress will take a lead in the upcoming movie. The flick goes by title Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and is slated to hit theat...

Octo-Mom Offered Porn Role to Salvage Her Finances

Nadya Suleman has a guardian angel out there somewhere and he goes by the title of "Porn King." She's currently in the process of losing her home due to a multitude of unpaid mortgage payments and faces the reality that she and her forty-seven kids will be out on the street if she doesn't take it up the something doesn't give. Steven Hirsch, president of Vivid Entertainment (which produces skin flicks that some of the most "prestigious" Hollywood starlets have starred in ... y'know, like...

Joe Jonas & Demi Lovato: A Match Made in Sparkly Disney-Sponsored Heaven

Access Hollywood's Billy Bush has finally gotten the lowdown on those burning questions of who Joe Jonas is dry-humping these days:  his very own Camp Rock co-star, Demi Lovato. I don't know if any of you guys saw that movie, Camp Rock, but man, the sexual tension on the Disney set was thick enough to cut with the dull edge of a chastity belt.   I'll admit freely that I succumbed to the cheesy-awesomeness of the flick, despite the fact that I had to hide my viewership from the rest of the people ...

Not So Unlike Donald Trump, Heidi Montag Fires Everyone.

All this in what, a week? So compelling, it's almost hard to keep up with all of the changes in the superstar's life. After firing Spencer Pratt as her "manager", Heidi Montag hired psychic Aiden Chase to be her manager, spiritual guide and on-location psychic.  Guess Heidi didn't care for Chase's predictions as to where her career was going to inevitably go, because it's recently found that Montag's now fired Chase -- a week into his new, swank job. Montag states: "I have decided t...

Katherine Heigl Sort of Admits That She’s a Suck Mom

In a recent interview with People magazine, Katherine Heigl states that she's finally "ready" to be a mom.  Her adopted daughter has only been in her life less than six months, but she's come to the realization that, uh, family should come first. She and her husband, Josh Kelley, adopted their daughter this past September from South Korea, when the child was only an infant. This comes at an interesting time, with those rumors regarding the end of her stint on Grey's Anatomy.  Who knows, some might even...

Lady Gaga’s Ex is Kind Of a Tool

Ever hear of Rob Fusari?  No?  Yeah, me either. He's some kind of "songwriter" and "music producer" and by that I mean "probably not" but he's also the ex of Lady Gaga and that gives him an overinflated sense of what I like to call entitlement.  He's also suing her highness for $30.5 million because he claims that he created Gaga's image and boasts that he was "instrumental" in writing some of her songs. Indeed, Fusari claims that he was responsible for the stage name "Gaga" and also stat...

J-Woww Pushes Cosmetic Surgery in a Jar, ‘Cause Fakeness is What She Does Best

Jenni "J-Woww" Farley of the Jersey Shore knows what it's like to be a fake, plastic tree in a forest of, well, fake plastic trees. Her latest endeavor?  Promoting Cosmetic Surgeon in a Jar alongside Dr. Steven Greenberg, the product's creator. While Woww's got the body of a goddess, she should really work on that face of hers.  I don't know if she's had facial alterations in the past or not, but she could sure use some TLC on her mug.  She could be really pretty if she laid off the bla...

Jesse James Hooks Up With Some Classy Ladies, No Doubt.

Jesse James' mistress, Michelle McGee, is one high-class broad. In case you couldn't tell by the forehead tattoo, the Nazi photo shoot should sum it on up for you. McGee recently had some more dirty laundry aired out -- she worked for an internet-based "girlfriend" service and now her latest social faux-pas (aside from sleeping with a married man who happens to be united with a top Hollywood actress) was posing for a Nazi-themed photoshoot, with matching "white power" tattoos on the backs ...