Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Elisha Cuthbert Pulls a Jennifer Love Hewitt

But you know what? You're not going to hear a lot of hate from me about it. I think (although it's evident that she's put on a few pounds) that she still looks great. I love when celebrities put on noticeable weight and they're still okay with it. They don't go and hide in the Hollywood Hills homes with a hoard of Ex-Lax, razorblades and cocaine. They accept it, flaunt it and change it -- if they want. Although yeah, she's not the tiny, fat-free person that she used to be, she's still t...

Elin Nordegren Pulls the Plug on Her Marriage to Tiger Woods

And not a moment too soon, as far as I'm concerned. Things seemed kind of suspect when the Sweden-born Nordegren moved back to her roots and took the couple's children with them, but hey. Couples take extended vacations, uh, apart and with their children all of the time, right? Then Tiger pulls out of the Playas Player's Championship citing a herniated disk in his neck. I thought the retraction from the Championship was definitely a little off, and now I think I know why. Sources close to the couple confirm that Tiger and Elin are, indeed, splitting -- for real and for good this time. The source claims that although the couple tried...

Colin Farrell’s Got a Job!

Remember 1985's Fright Night with Chris Sarandon and the annoying-assed neighbor from Married With Children? The chick that played "Marcy." ... Amanda Bearse, right. Well, it looks like even the most obscure of horror movies don't escape the curse of the Hollywood remake; reps for Colin Farrell have confirmed that he'll be starring in the reboot, filling the place of the vampire's shoes, originally played by Sarandon. Congrats, Colin! I mean, it's no Phone Booth or anything, but hey. Fright Night. Everybody's into the remakes these days. Good on you....

In Other News …

Kendra Wilkinson takes two and three at a time ... and I don't mean meds. [Celebslam] Scarlett Johansson does a shoot for V magazine and she might just turn me lesbian because of it. [popbytes] What the fuck is going on with Robert Pattinson's hair? Okay, I said it now, are you happy? [Pajiba] Miley Cyrus has no problem acting like a ho in front of her Ma Dukes. [Celebitchy] Marilyn Monroe set the standard for almost-nudie pics way back in the day, sister. [Zelda Lily] Alicia Keys looks an uncanny amount like Lena Horne. RIP, Lena. [Amy Grindhouse] The Lohan sisters look like they're in 1985. 1985 K-Mart, that is. [CityRag] Lil Wayne sending Mother's Day condolences wishes from prison. [Pop on the Pop] NSFW: If I looked like this dude from the waist down (uh, if I were a dude), I sure wouldn't be letting the photographs circulate. [OMG Blog] Barbara Walters to have heart surgery. [Celebrity Smack Blog] />Kendra Wilkinson takes two and three at a time ... and I don't mean meds. [Celebslam] Scarlett Johansson does a shoot for V magazine and she might just turn me lesbian because of it. [popbytes] What the fuck is going on with Robert Pattinson's hair? Okay, I said it now, are you happy? [Pajiba] Miley Cyrus has no problem acting like a ho in front of her Ma Dukes. [Celebitchy] Marilyn Monroe set the standard for almost-nudie pics way back in the day, sister. [Zelda Lily] Alicia Keys looks an uncanny amount like Lena Horne. RIP, Lena. [Amy Grindhouse] The Lohan sisters look like they're in 1985. 1985 K-Mart, th...

Meg Ryan’s Nipples Are Staring Me Down, Man.

I've always been a fan of Meg Ryan and all of her cheesy, rom-com movies, so I'm most displeased to say that the purpose of this entire post is to make fun of her lazy nipples. Girlfriend was photographed out and about in NYC this past weekend looking a little worse for the wear. Even though she was said to have undergone some really bad plastic surgery, she's not looking, say, as bad as Jocelyn Wildenstein or worse, Heidi Montag. She's an aging Hollywood actress that probably feels past he...

Wanna See Joaquin Phoenix’s Peter?

If you do, his new documentary is surely for you. Remember that whole thing where Phoenix decided to be a, uh, rapper? That whole "Bye! Good" thing? Turns out that it was a farce ... but instead of finding that kind of disturbing, the contents of the documentary claiming that the rapper to be real is supposedly far, far worse. The LA Times has the lowdown on the off-kilter star's self-imposed downward spiral and they're wondering (among many others) if the entire thing still remains to be a joke: It’s far from the Joaquin Phoenix you’r...

Katy Perry Tops Maxim’s Hot 100 of 2010

Glad to say that I definitely saw this coming; I definitely didn't think I was the only one to think Katy Perry was positively bangin'! Maxim unveiled their 2010 Hot 100 list on their site today and my girl Katy topped the charts at number one. The top ten consisted of Perry, Elisabetta Canalis, Kim Kardashian, Rihanna, Megan Fox, Marisa Miller, Brooklyn Decker, Olivia Munn, Blake Lively and Zoe Saldana. However, I think last year's list was marginally better, featuring women of the likes of ...

Jake Gyllenhaal is Fearful of Long-Legged, Beak-Faced Predators

So I guess ever dating Gwyneth Paltrow is totally out of the question. Jake dishes on his upcoming movie, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, and the film's use of ostriches to enhance the film's ambiance. Gyllenhaal states: "They would say, 'Don't make any noise around the ostriches. They'll tear out your eyes and rip out your heart.' So, I was naturally terrified ... They look like they're innocent, but they're really not." Prince of Persia is based on the video game of the same name and follows a prince (Gyllenhaal) on his quest to prevent worldwide doom in a scantily-clad kind of way, similar to almost every...

The Bobby Brown Who’s Not Dead Proposes to His Latest Victim

The nefarious Bobby Brown reportedly proposed to his girlfriend/manager this past weekend during “Funk Fest” in Florida. His manager, Alicia Etheridge (no relation to the talented Melissa), said yes for some reason and the two celebrated the night away after the show. The two have an eleven-month-old son together and have been able to stand each other's presence for the past three years. Congrats to the couple and good luck to Etheridge … but since she’s already Brown’s manager, I’d say her career is officially over, anyway....

In Other News …

Heidi Klum has an O over chocolate and other women who consider having chocolate sex. [Zelda Lily] Samantha Ronson's hooking up with some other chick, is sure to drive Lindsay Lohan over the edge. [Celebslam] Glee gets "physical." [popbytes] I still can't believe that 24 is going off the air. It's officially TV-Armageddon. [Pajiba] Taylor Swift donates $500k to Nashville flood victims. There isn't anything this girl can't do. [Celebitchy] Avril Lavigne wants to get matching tattoos with Brody Jenner ... the word "fuck" on their ribcages. Tell me that's not something this asshat's going to regret in fifteen years. [Litely Salted] Jersey Shore celebrates Cinco de Mayo in the best way they know how. [Allie is Wired] Mariah Carey has the most idiotic-sounding perfume name ever. [Amy Grindhouse] Emma Watson's having a hard time with school. Must be all that Hairy Peter Harry Potter. [Betty Confidential] Holy Madonna arms revisited: SJP debuts her guns in a wedding dress. [OMGBlog] Oh, man. Gary Busey had a kid. At age 65. [Celebrity Smack Blog] />Heidi Klum has an O over chocolate and other women who consider having chocolate sex. [Zelda Lily] Samantha Ronson's hooking up with some other chick, is sure to drive Lindsay Lohan over the edge. [Celebslam] Glee gets "physical." [popbytes] I still can't believe that 24 is going off the air. It's officially TV-Armageddon. [Pajiba] Taylor Swift donates $500k to Nashville flood victims. There isn't anything this girl can't do. [Celebitchy] Avril Lavigne wants to get matching tattoos with Brody Jenner ... the word "fuck" on their ribcages. Tell me that'...

See, Guys, Lindsay Has Been Working.

Here's an officially-unofficial leak of the Lohan's new single, "Can't Stop, Won't Stop." And I, for one, am positive that it's referring to her cracked-out, coke-blowing, "shoe-powdering" ways. Oh, that and loving some dude. Thoughts? /> Here's an officially-unofficial leak of the Lohan's new single, "Can't Stop, Won't Stop." And I, for one, am positive that it's referring to her cracked-out, coke-blowing, "shoe-powdering" ways. Oh, that and loving some dude. Thoughts? ...

You Better Watch This Shit Fast, Before It Gets Yanked Off of the Internet

Tom Cruise and Katile Holmes Sing and Dance - The best free videos are right here You have no idea the lengths I went to in order to procure this video. It's been "removed" everywhere on YouTube (Scientology seems to frown upon frivolity) and it probably won't be too long before The (Scientology) Man finds out that we've worked the system and posted an "illegal" and highly embarrassing video. Anyway, the video presents Katie Holmes' rendition of "Whatever Lola Wants," and it would have been pretty okay if husband Tom didn't force her to include him in the performance, which was...
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