Have any of you ever read Zane Grey's The Reef Girl? It's a great book. And when I found out that Carrie Underwood and her new husband, Mike Fisher, were honeymooning in Tahiti, The Reef Girl was one of the first things I thought of -- that book, and "Holy fuck, Carrie Underwood got married? Already?"
The two were photographed in Tahiti late yesterday, sipping coconut-looking drinks and frolicking in the azure blue waves. I need a vacation. Like, stat. And looking at these photos only heightens the yearning.
Anyway, congratulations to Carrie and Mike! I really think these crazy kids are gonna make it! And if not, then hell. I'll have won the bet. Just keep away from Faaone, Mike. Keep away.
[gallery] />Have any of you ever read Zane Grey's The Reef Girl? It's a great book. And when I found out that Carrie Underwood and her new husband, Mike Fisher, were honeymooning in Tahiti, The Reef Girl was one of the first things I thought of -- that book, and "Holy fuck, Carrie Underwood got married? Already?"
The two were photographed in Tahiti late yesterday, sipping coconut-looking drinks and frolicking in the azure blue waves. I need a vacation. Like, stat. And looking at these photos only heightens the yearning.
Anyway, congratulations to Carrie and Mike! I really ...
Remember when Brad Pitt starred in Legends of the Fall? God, that was a great movie. Definitely one of my all-time favorites. He was so stinking hot, with his sun-kissed skin, his bleached-out hair, and his flashing blue eyes. I was totally, totally in love. I even had the movie posters in my bedroom, back when it was appropriate to still hang posters in my bedroom. I think if I hung huge photos in my bedroom these days, I might get some pretty strange looks, but I wouldn't care. I'd have a life-sized cut out of Adrien Brody, like, stapled to my ceiling, and we'd have long, in-depth conversations every night. You know, if I were eleven again.
Anyway. It's apparent that Angelina has, indeed, sucked up the majority of Pitt's lifeblood, because yes, while he looks much better without the pube farm he had growing on his face for awhile, he still doesn't look amazing. And I'm not saying that because he's gotten older -- he just doesn't look well. Still hot, still totally bankable, but there's something different there, and I think I know what it is: look very, very closely underneath Brad's exposed dimple ... I think I see vampire fang scars. Lifeblood. Angelina. Succubus. />Remember when Brad Pitt starred in Legends of the Fall? God, that was a great movie. Definitely one of my all-time favorites. He was so stinking hot, with his sun-kissed skin, his bleached-out hair, and his flashing blue eyes. I was totally, totally in love. I even had the movie posters in my bedroom, back when it was appropriate to still hang posters in my bedroom. I think if I hung huge photos in my bedroom these days, I might get some pretty strange looks, but I wouldn't care. I'd have a...
Switzerland released Polanski upon the nation's unwitting children today, much to the chagrin of, well, everyone. The Swiss government decided not to extradite Polanski to the US, where he'd certainly serve a stringent jail sentence, so odds are that Polanski's going to hide out in Switzerland for awhile until the storm settles -- which, for some people, will be never.
According to the AP:
The Swiss government declared renowned film director Roman Polanski a free man on Monday after rejecting a U.S. request to extradite him on a charge of having sex in 1977 with a 13-year-old girl. The Swiss mostly blamed U.S. authorities for failing to provide confidential testimony about Polanski's sentencing procedure in 1977-1978. The stunning decision could end the United States' three-decade pursuit of Polanski, unless he travels to another country that would be willing to apprehend him and weigh sending him to Los Angeles. France, where he has spent much of his time, does not extradite its own citizens, and the public scrutiny over Switzerland's deliberations may dissuade other nations from making such a spectacular arrest. "Mr. Polanski can now move freely. Since 12:30 today he's a free man," Justice Minister Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf declared. Authorities in Los Angeles and Washington cannot appeal the Swiss decision. Sandy Gibbons, a spokeswoman for the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office, declined to comment.
I'm glad Mr. Polanski can now "move freely." That's just fabulous. Let's hope the sick fuck doesn't move his shit all over another thirteen year-old's asshole again, since it's clear that no punishment affects Polanski's perverse gonads. And to all of you celebrities backing Polanski because he's some kind of motherfucking "misunderstood artist" or whatever? FUCK YOU. Great example you're setting! Let's free the child-raping celebrity -- the perp is famous and more than likely will get away with it, so why the hell not. FUCK YOU, celebrities in the support of Roman Polanski -- and shame on you, too. I hope you're happy now. />Switzerland released Polanski upon the nation's unwitting children today, much to the chagrin of, well, everyone. The Swiss government decided not to extradite Polanski to the US, where he'd certainly serve a stringent jail sentence, so odds are that Polanski's going to hide out in Switzerland for awhile until the storm settles -- which, for some people, will be never.
According to the AP:
The Swiss government declared renowned film director Roman Polanski a free man on Monday after rejecting a U.S...
And failing. Miserably. Failing miserably. Did I mention that they failed? Miserably?
The cast of Jersey Shore was photographed in attendance at the KIIS-FM "Now 34 and the Jersey Shore" party that was held at some pool that looks like it'd fit in perfectly at your local hotel-motel-Holiday Inn, naturally.
They all look, uh, great. Just great. I mean, Snooki herself looks almost half of the troll that she normally appears to be, The Situation's shirt is only 3/4 of the way up, and JWoww has somehow managed to restrain her massive tits in a manner that doesn't look like they're choking the living shit out of her. Apparently, the night was a win. As for the rest of the cast? I can't even fucking remember who they are.
[gallery] />And failing. Miserably. Failing miserably. Did I mention that they failed? Miserably?
The cast of Jersey Shore was photographed in attendance at the KIIS-FM "Now 34 and the Jersey Shore" party that was held at some pool that looks like it'd fit in perfectly at your local hotel-motel-Holiday Inn, naturally.
They all look, uh, great. Just great. I mean, Snooki herself looks almost half of the troll that she normally appears to be, The Situation's shirt is only 3/4 of the way up, and J...
With a fresh crop of oozing zits, that is.
... How old are you, Jon? And you're still breaking out like a pubescent little boy who's hiding dirty magazines underneath his mattress and who can't go more than 45 minutes without jacking off?
Oh, wait.
Yeah, normally I wouldn't make fun of someone for something out of their control -- like over-active facial sebaceous glands -- but Jon Gosselin sucks, so I'm socking it to him and hitting him where it hurts. (I'd knock him in the nuts, but I've heard that I might have a hard time finding them, and frankly, I don't have that kind of time on my hands these days.)
The grosser-half of the former Gosselin marriage is photographed at Millions of Milkshakes in West Hollywood, sucking back a milkshake that probably has 1500 calories in it. Not that, you know, that might have anything to do with the condition of his skin.
Keep sucking, Jon -- stick to what you're good at.
[gallery] />With a fresh crop of oozing zits, that is.
... How old are you, Jon? And you're still breaking out like a pubescent little boy who's hiding dirty magazines underneath his mattress and who can't go more than 45 minutes without jacking off?
Oh, wait.
Yeah, normally I wouldn't make fun of someone for something out of their control -- like over-active facial sebaceous glands -- but Jon Gosselin sucks, so I'm socking it to him and hitting him where it hurts. (I'd knock him in the nuts, but...
Happy Birthday, Jess! Your new boyfriend, Eric Johnson, is definitely top-notch, and just by the kiss, I can surmise that you guys are pretty happy right now.
I won't mention how it looks like you have a set of legs emerging from your torso, but hey. Maybe that's part of your whole "sexual napalm" thing. Two sets of legs to wrap around some big football-playing guy?
Bitch is the original Spiderwoman. Just ... hotter. />Happy Birthday, Jess! Your new boyfriend, Eric Johnson, is definitely top-notch, and just by the kiss, I can surmise that you guys are pretty happy right now.
I won't mention how it looks like you have a set of legs emerging from your torso, but hey. Maybe that's part of your whole "sexual napalm" thing. Two sets of legs to wrap around some big football-playing guy?
Bitch is the original Spiderwoman. Just ... hotter....
Eat
out your heart out, Jennifer Aniston.
Jolie's been stumping a lot for her latest movie, Salt, and was recently photographed for Vanity Fair, who exposed the actress's newest ink -- a script tattoo on her inner thigh. MTV news recently interviewed the star and asked her outright what the deal was with the new tattoo:
“Um, it’s for Brad,” Jolie demurred with a smile.
What does it say? I don't know. I think it's in a different language, the photo's really blurry, and it's in an unfortunate font.
But I'm all for it! I love tattoos, and Jolie's got some pretty sweet ones. My most recent one is on my back, and that was a script tattoo as well. Plus, it's in French. I can say, I'm with Angelina when she says that she likes to keep her tats private, and if that means by inking them in a language that's not native to the area in which you reside, so be it. I dig it, I did it, I condone it.
(Oh, and the tattoo probably says something along the lines of, "You better enjoy yourself when you're down here, Brad, or I'll cut your balls off with a rusty watering can.") />Eat out your heart out, Jennifer Aniston.
Jolie's been stumping a lot for her latest movie, Salt, and was recently photographed for Vanity Fair, who exposed the actress's newest ink -- a script tattoo on her inner thigh. MTV news recently interviewed the star and asked her outright what the deal was with the new tattoo:
“Um, it’s for Brad,” Jolie demurred with a smile.
What does it say? I don't know. I think it's in a different language, the photo's really blurry, and it's in an unf...
“I haven’t done Botox. I don’t like all that facial stuff. It scares me. You see these people who have had it, and they all look the same. I just don’t think I should go that way, especially at 43. I think I should just age. I’ve never been the prettiest person, and I don’t feel I need to chase youth.”
Pamela Anderson inadvertently speaks coherently, and makes a valid point, too. (And no, I'm not railing on her because she said she's "never been the prettiest person" -- that's just not even the point here.) Good job on fighting the sexualized machine that perpetuates the fabled fountain of youth!
(But comb your hair, girl.) />“I haven’t done Botox. I don’t like all that facial stuff. It scares me. You see these people who have had it, and they all look the same. I just don’t think I should go that way, especially at 43. I think I should just age. I’ve never been the prettiest person, and I don’t feel I need to chase youth.”
Pamela Anderson inadvertently speaks coherently, and makes a valid point, too. (And no, I'm not railing on her because she said she's "never been the prettiest person" -- that's just not even the ...
According to TMZ, who somehow gained exclusive access to Lindsay's personal affairs once again, Lindsay's jail time may not be just jail time: there's evidently a program known as the "Impact Program" available to certain inmates in LA, which includes jail time and intensive substance abuse rehab. The program lasts five hours a day, seven days a week, and for ninety days. Looks like Lohan might actually serve her entire sentence -- if they're really serious about getting this girl clean, anyway. With Lindsay's up-and-coming psych evals on the horizon, who knows -- it might be deemed medically necessary for Lindsay to do the rehab stint, and wouldn't that be great. I mean, I hope so. It'll make her father happy, too, I'm sure, which is naturally what we're all aiming for in this crazy place called planet Earth.
But really, holy fuck, man. Five hours a day. I can't stand doing things I love for five hours a day. Christ.
If you are ordered to participate in this program, Lindsay, and you come out on the "other side" a mess? This time it's on you, girl. All you. (Ahem, and it's not as if it wasn't the last time; clearly, everyone in Hollywood gets a free pass, so this might just be yours.) />According to TMZ, who somehow gained exclusive access to Lindsay's personal affairs once again, Lindsay's jail time may not be just jail time: there's evidently a program known as the "Impact Program" available to certain inmates in LA, which includes jail time and intensive substance abuse rehab. The program lasts five hours a day, seven days a week, and for ninety days. Looks like Lohan might actually serve her entire sentence -- if they're really serious about getting this girl clean, anyway. With Lin...
At least not anytime soon, and not before he beds as many supermodels as he possibly can, 'cause that's clearly what his friends think he's all about these days.
Pattinson recently quipped last month that he'd "like to go on a date." Because clearly, whatever he's doing (or not doing) with co-star Kristen Stewart isn't considered a "date." Pattinson claims, too, that he doesn't think that settling down equates marriage, which, I can agree with, but he then hurries ahead to kind of say that he wants to sleep with every
woman person he possibly can:
“I don’t think settling down should be the same thing as getting married ... I mean, I guess settling down just means not sleeping with everybody. I don’t like the idea of having to settle, though.”
And now his former school chums are adding fuel to the fire. A "friend" of the star claims that Pattinson is only 24, and has formerly dated models prior to doing whatever-the-fuck-he's-not-doing with Kristen Stewart:
“Rob’s only 24,” a former school friend told Britain’s Look magazine. “He’s a British public schoolboy who has dated models in the past. He could feel that by settling down with Kristen, he’d be missing on the opportunity to date other famous women.”
And if, you know, dating other "famous women" includes lowly celebrity gossip bloggers, you can include my name in the pool, too, unnamed friend. Just saying. />At least not anytime soon, and not before he beds as many supermodels as he possibly can, 'cause that's clearly what his friends think he's all about these days.
Pattinson recently quipped last month that he'd "like to go on a date." Because clearly, whatever he's doing (or not doing) with co-star Kristen Stewart isn't considered a "date." Pattinson claims, too, that he doesn't think that settling down equates marriage, which, I can agree with, but he then hurries ahead to kind of say that he w...
Milla Jovovich has always been, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. This is why, even though some of you might think she doesn't look amazing, I decided to publish these recent photos of her LOOKING AMAZING while leaving an airport. I mean, who else could look so fabulous after a few-hour flight? You know, aside from Lady Gaga, but that's some pretty wretched overkill, if you ask me.
When I fly (which is pretty frequently), I look OK getting on the plane -- but after? I'd be screwed if paparazzi were following me ... no one looks amazing drunk, and that's usually what flights entail for me -- slaphappy drunkenness.
Way to outdo us all again with your banging looks, Milla, thanks. Mooool-ti-pass, motherfucker.
[gallery] />Milla Jovovich has always been, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. This is why, even though some of you might think she doesn't look amazing, I decided to publish these recent photos of her LOOKING AMAZING while leaving an airport. I mean, who else could look so fabulous after a few-hour flight? You know, aside from Lady Gaga, but that's some pretty wretched overkill, if you ask me.
When I fly (which is pretty frequently), I look OK getting on the plane -- but after? I'd be screwed if paparazzi were following me ... no one loo...
