So, Jen. We meet again! What's new, how are you, that's just great. How'd that whole housewife-cum-prostitute movie work out? You know, I really really meant to watch it, but I had some serious episodes of 24 season 2 to catch up on. Oh, yeah, that and the movie was on Lifetime, and unless it's Christmastime, I have a serious aversion to anything on that wretched channel.
What can I say -- I'm a sucker for Holiday in Handcuffs seventeen times in seventeen days.
And isn't Kathy Ireland or something big with Lifetime? Is that who designed your dress? Or maybe, you know, it was Alfred Dunner. He's big in geriatric circles, I've heard. Either way, take cover. My grandma's on her way, she doesn't remember things all that well, and she's pissed. Take cover, woman!
[gallery] />So, Jen. We meet again! What's new, how are you, that's just great. How'd that whole housewife-cum-prostitute movie work out? You know, I really really meant to watch it, but I had some serious episodes of 24 season 2 to catch up on. Oh, yeah, that and the movie was on Lifetime, and unless it's Christmastime, I have a serious aversion to anything on that wretched channel.
What can I say -- I'm a sucker for Holiday in Handcuffs seventeen times in seventeen days.
And isn't Kathy Ireland ...
"He was after me since I was 18 ... he totally wasn't my type ... I thought he was gay ... After a few years, he was persistent ... so I went out with him on a date and I realized how much I liked him."
Julianne Hough on her newest (and confirmed!) boyfriend, Ryan Seacrest. Don't sweat it too much, though, Jules. A lot of other people thought he was gay, too, but that didn't stop them from swooning over him. Everyone caves sooner or later. />"He was after me since I was 18 ... he totally wasn't my type ... I thought he was gay ... After a few years, he was persistent ... so I went out with him on a date and I realized how much I liked him."
Julianne Hough on her newest (and confirmed!) boyfriend, Ryan Seacrest. Don't sweat it too much, though, Jules. A lot of other people thought he was gay, too, but that didn't stop them from swooning over him. Everyone caves sooner or later....
I know it's been just forever, but do you guys remember Simon Monjack? Brittany Murphy's husband? The one who died not six months after Murphy herself passed?
Well, it turns out that the LA County Coroner has got the final word back on Monjack's autopsy: Monjack's cause of death was the same as his late wife, Brittany's. Back in December, Brittany died from what was said ultimately to be pneumonia and anemia, and the coroner has released a statement stating that Monjack, who passed away in May, died of ... pneumonia and anemia.
It's the mom. It's totally the mom. She's a vampire who, after sucking her victim's blood, replaces the lost blood with some kind of watery substitute, which ultimately settles in the lungs -- hence, the whole pneumonia thing.
No, I'm joking. I don't know whether she's a vampire or not, jeez.
But the whole thing's pretty weird, if you ask me. />I know it's been just forever, but do you guys remember Simon Monjack? Brittany Murphy's husband? The one who died not six months after Murphy herself passed?
Well, it turns out that the LA County Coroner has got the final word back on Monjack's autopsy: Monjack's cause of death was the same as his late wife, Brittany's. Back in December, Brittany died from what was said ultimately to be pneumonia and anemia, and the coroner has released a statement stating that Monjack, who passed away in May, died of ... pneumonia an...
You know, child abuse allegations are serious business, and naturally, child abuse itself is even worse. As you've all heard, Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva's child, Lucia (a baby, for fuck's sake), was supposed to have been in Oksana's arms when Mel allegedly went out on one of his rages, and the child was said to be hit in my mouth by Mel himself.
RadarOnline, a normally reputable site, claims to have "exclusive" photos of the child (the baby; a tiny little baby) after she was hit in the mouth, and Radar just went ahead and published them. I did not look at these photos, I do not want to see them, and sorry, guys, but I won't even link in this post to where you can find them. I think releasing photos of an infant with what's said to be facial abrasions is the height of reprehension and find anyone who'd peddle the photos (parent, photo agency, magazine, whatever) to be a fucking parasite on the dirty underbelly of the dredges of humanity.
Whether or not Mel and Oksana have gone through what is said to have happened is aside from the fact -- a child was involved in one way or another and that child should be protected. From an abusive parent, curious onlookers and worse -- gossip magazines and websites.
This has really got me upset. />You know, child abuse allegations are serious business, and naturally, child abuse itself is even worse. As you've all heard, Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva's child, Lucia (a baby, for fuck's sake), was supposed to have been in Oksana's arms when Mel allegedly went out on one of his rages, and the child was said to be hit in my mouth by Mel himself.
RadarOnline, a normally reputable site, claims to have "exclusive" photos of the child (the baby; a tiny little baby) after she was hit in the m...
The newly-thirty Jessica Simpson took it to the streets yesterday, wearing what can only be described as a really, really unfortunate-looking romper.
Rompers are cool. Both figuratively and literally. And I'm sure it looked great, folded up crisply on a stained teak shelf in an expensive boutique. That's always the most appealing part of shopping -- the way the newness of the fabric looks, draped over complementary-colored woods and tiles. Many times you don't see the price tag, and let me tell you: it's one good fucking marketing ploy. It gets me every damned time. But many of those times, that particular article of clothing should have just stayed on the shelves -- and especially in this, Jess's, case.
I love you girl, but FAY-UL on the romper. Sheesh.
[gallery] />The newly-thirty Jessica Simpson took it to the streets yesterday, wearing what can only be described as a really, really unfortunate-looking romper.
Rompers are cool. Both figuratively and literally. And I'm sure it looked great, folded up crisply on a stained teak shelf in an expensive boutique. That's always the most appealing part of shopping -- the way the newness of the fabric looks, draped over complementary-colored woods and tiles. Many times you don't see the price tag, and let ...
I will admit freely, there are times when I leave the house to go grocery shopping in pajamas. Or if I want to run for an early-morning coffee and don't feel like getting dressed up, I'll throw on yoga pants and LEAVE THE HOUSE (GASP!!) MAKE UP-FREE. I am not ridiculously concerned with what I look like in public at all times, but goddamn. I would never (did I happen to mention, 'never'?) ever leave the house looking like my head was attacked by a greasy duck-billed platypus. Come the fuck on.
So you probably don't have to guess too hard to figure out which female celebrity wouldn't bat an eye at looking like a bag of smashed assholes out in public. Just sayin'.
Take your guesses, hold your nose (busted weave probably stinks, too) and jump in to find out.
Read More />I will admit freely, there are times when I leave the house to go grocery shopping in pajamas. Or if I want to run for an early-morning coffee and don't feel like getting dressed up, I'll throw on yoga pants and LEAVE THE HOUSE (GASP!!) MAKE UP-FREE. I am not ridiculously concerned with what I look like in public at all times, but goddamn. I would never (did I happen to mention, 'never'?) ever leave the house looking like my head was attacked by a greasy duck-billed platypus. Come the fuck on...
And here I thought it was just because she was a fame-hungry, fuck-at-any-cost ho. Silly me!
RadarOnline released exclusive emails between Rachel and Tiger while they were "dating" (that were presumably sent to Radar by Rachel herself) that claimed both parties were addicted to pills:
“Would it be possible for you to get us some more Ambien,” Woods wrote to Uchitel in a November, 2009 email.
Uchitel responded, “Ok, but we need to talk about this. I don’t know how to deal with us possibly being addicted to prescription meds."
“What can I say to make you stop taking Ambien excessively? What can I do to prove that I’m worried?” [Says Uchitel]
“I feel like taking pills is my only alternative!” Woods answered to Uchitel’s concern.
Now, to be clear, the couple weren't, you know, cracked-out zombies that took high-powered sedatives to zone out. Supposedly they were taking the pills for another, more lurid, reason: the idea that some who take Ambien have instant sexual gratification-type results almost immediately after taking the pills.
So they'd dope out on sleeping pills and fuck 'til the cows came home ... or until one of them passed out in a drug-induced stupor that resulted in unconscious eating and some more sleep sex.
Uh ... win? />And here I thought it was just because she was a fame-hungry, fuck-at-any-cost ho. Silly me!
RadarOnline released exclusive emails between Rachel and Tiger while they were "dating" (that were presumably sent to Radar by Rachel herself) that claimed both parties were addicted to pills:
“Would it be possible for you to get us some more Ambien,” Woods wrote to Uchitel in a November, 2009 email.
Uchitel responded, “Ok, but we need to talk about this. I don’t know how to deal with us pos...
So, Lindsay's official surrender time is 11:30 AM ET (or 8:30 AM PST, if you're on the West Coast in the US), and everyone's wondering if she's going to show.
I've been watching the TMZ live feed since it began about a half hour ago, and it never ceases to amaze me that there are some pretty vultured-out people out there in the world. I mean, I'm pretty voyeuristic when it comes to this kind of stuff (most people are, whether they want to believe it or not), but the guys and girls lined up outside of the courthouse are all like, "Dude! There's an open spot here, come stand next to me!", acting like it's Christmas or a huge line to get tickets to their favorite show or whatever. I'm sitting here, with bated breath, rapt attention, and hoping sincerely that I don't have to pee for the next twenty minutes or so. PS, TMZ: E! Online's video stream is way better.
But whatever. Twenty-two minutes to go 'til Lindsay's deadline arrives. Will she make it, or will we start receive breaking reports that she's been hospitalized or something?
Stay tuned ...
[Update 11:10 AM ET: Security guards are telling everyone to back up "about a foot." Looks like she might be on her way soon. They always know stuff we don't.]
[Update 11:15 AM ET: I just overheard someone saying that she's left "the house." Let's hope she's not late.]
[Update 11:17 AM ET: Fucking Michael Lohan arrives!!!]
[Update 11:19 AM ET: Lots of trashy-looking people arriving for other court-related infractions, basking in the fact that they're on camera. You can hear Michael in the background saying, "Just leave my daughter alone."]
[Update 11:22 AM ET: Still no Lindsay. Dude, move your hairy elbow. I just knew I'd have to go to the bathroom before this was all over. Sheriffs still telling people to back up.]
[Update 11:26 AM ET: Four minutes 'til deadline. Wouldn't you just die if she didn't show up? I don't know how much longer I can hold it!]
[Update 11:31 AM ET: OK. The time has come ... and gone. Still no Lindsay. Leave it to the Beav to be fashionably late. People are still being all festive and jovial-like.]
[Update 11:37 AM ET: SHE ARRIVES! Pandemonium ensues, insanity everywhere! People yelling, "DON'T FUCKING PUSH ME!", fights breaking out, Lindsay's practically RUNNING. Oh, and my internet crashed.]
[Update 11:43 AM ET: Lindsay looks like she's having an anxiety attack in the courtroom. Lawyer's trying to pull out stops on "completing programs," hoping that it'll sway the Judge. Heh. As if. ... Cameras are off, but audio's still running. Dammit.]
[Update 11:47 AM ET: I hear handcuffs!! She's been remanded to serve her sentence NOW, and off she goes!]
[Update 11:50 AM ET: People outside holding signs saying, "Free Lindsay!" and screaming, "Let Lindsay go!" Jeez.]
[Update 12:31 PM ET: Lindsay's caravan is still on its way to the jail, where tons of people are awaiting her arrival. Can't imagine what she's feeling, sitting inside that official silver car.]
[Update 12:47 PM ET: Lindsay's caravan has arrived (two cars) and has pulled into a tarp-covered bay at the correctional facility. As of this time, Lindsay's literally in jail. />So, Lindsay's official surrender time is 11:30 AM ET (or 8:30 AM PST, if you're on the West Coast in the US), and everyone's wondering if she's going to show.
I've been watching the TMZ live feed since it began about a half hour ago, and it never ceases to amaze me that there are some pretty vultured-out people out there in the world. I mean, I'm pretty voyeuristic when it comes to this kind of stuff (most people are, whether they want to believe it or not), but the guys and girls lined up outside...
So, yep. Lindsay goes to jail today. Or is it Mr. Deeds Goes to Town? Ernest Goes to Camp? None of them are even as remotely as amusing or compelling as the flight to save Lindsay Lohan from her worst enemy -- herself.
Old Linds took to her Twitter late last night to send a last-ditch appeal to her fans (not that, you know, her fans have anything to do with keeping her out of jail, but I'll give her an E for Effort on this one) using the old Disney ploy.
Oh, Lindsay. Good luck today, dude. I know that no filming is gonna be allowed after the Sheriffs officially shackle your ass, but I'm hoping that there's going to be some crazy pap out there with a grainy-assed camera phone that captures the best of your Botox-limited facial expressions on tape -- the angst and the lip-pursing alike. />So, yep. Lindsay goes to jail today. Or is it Mr. Deeds Goes to Town? Ernest Goes to Camp? None of them are even as remotely as amusing or compelling as the flight to save Lindsay Lohan from her worst enemy -- herself.
Old Linds took to her Twitter late last night to send a last-ditch appeal to her fans (not that, you know, her fans have anything to do with keeping her out of jail, but I'll give her an E for Effort on this one) using the old Disney ploy.
Oh, Lindsay. Good luck today,...
And yes, there actually is a pun intended somewhere in there.
I'm, you know, coming down off of my Lindsay Goes to Jail high from yesterday and I woke up this morning like it was the day after Christmas, the bottom having all but dropped out on life. Situations were dour, guys.
I began scouring the internet to see if Lindsay had dropped off the tabloid radar (and how 'bout that mugshot!), and alas, I was not disappointed: it turns out that Lindsay's drug habits that put her in jail are cont...
