Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Merry Christmas, Snooki Brown!

photo of nicole snooki polizzi pictures photos christmas 2011 weight loss This is how Jersey Shore's Snooki spent Christmas - sitting in her messy bedroom taking self-portraits and mugging for her boyfriend's really shitty camera. It could be worse - she could have been doing what LeAnn Rimes was doing - busting her tailbone wide open on a bed stuffed with goose down feathers. Thank God for small favors, am I right? Anyway, you're "rich," girl, why don't you go buy your dumb duck a new camera? Or at the very least, you know, hire a maid to clean up after yourselve...

In Related Pregnancy News …

photo of rachel uchitel married pregnant pictures photos Remember Rachel Uchitel? The chick who affaired with Tiger Woods and David Boreanaz and God knows who else? Apparently she's pregnant! By her husband! I didn't even know she had a husband - isn't that just so wonderful for her? Congratulations to the girl, and may you teach your child to be more compassionate about those who have no teeth and to stay out of rehab as best as he or she can. Oh! Also to quit licking golf balls, 'cause you never do know what ditch they've been sitting in. Image courtesy of TMZ...

REPORT: Beyonce’s in Labor! (Translation: Beyonce’s Surrogate is in Labor!)

photo of beyonce pregnant pictures photos fake baby pic From Jezebel: It's Pregnancé no more because reports are coming thick and fast that Beyoncé is having her baby – with talk that she's probably crowning this very moment! With nurses and security at New York's St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital being advised to prepare themselves for a high-profile client checking in to give birth late yesterday, word on the maternity ward is that it's none other than Mama B. Though this hasn't been confirmed, two gossipy nurses have said that the VIP has booke...

Morning Wood

photo of hot drew brees hot pictures photos Vanessa Hudgens got high on white chocolate. [The Superficial] Three months to go for Jessica Simpson! [Lainey Gossip] Deion Sanders filed for divorce behind his wife's back. [Bossip] Chris Evans thinks it's all downhill after 30. [Starpulse] Steven Tyler's engaged! Again! [Starpulse] Lindsay Lohan has "changed." [The Blemish] Remember when: Lindsay Lohan did a hot rendition of 'Jingle Bell Rock'. [theBERRY] SNL writer suicide. [Huff Po] Blind item: what celebrity has a weird, sexual donkey obsession? [Hollywood Dame] Drew Brees in the shower is SO HO...

The 5 Best (and Worst!) ‘Stars Without Makeup’ of 2011

photo of miley cyrus pictures photos pics Ah, how often we forget that celebrities are actually "real" people, much like we are, and how grafitying it can be to see them doing normal things like going to the gym, buying coffee, and wearing hats to try and disguise just how normal they are. Here're the 5 Best Celebrities Without Makeup of 2011: #5 - Sammi Giancola So, right, I realize that she's not technically without makeup, but compared to what she *usually* looks like, this is as bare-faced as it gets, guys. #4 - Miranda Kerr ...

5 Best Transformations of 2011

photo of lindsay lohan before and after drugs pics Yesterday we did the Top 5 Douchebags of 2011, so I thought it only fair to give credit where credit is due (even if the aforementioned "credit" is only on temporary loan, like most credit is and then the person in slot #2 shoots back to complete grossness, and not just partial) and acknowledge those celebrities who have done some good for themselves, yes? #5 - Evan Rachel Wood Amazing what not sleeping next to Marilyn Manson can do for a girl, huh? She's almost attractive these days, if you ca...

Justin Timberlake Manufactures New Music Groups, Continues to Disappoint Us

The new hip-hop group is called FreeSol, this is their latest single, and it's been created by Timbaland and, of course, Justin Timberlake. It's also kind of mediocre. And honestly, it's a pure Timbaland/Timbalake hybrid, because the music is straight-up Justin and the lyrical rhymes are straight-up Timbaland. So you're probably wondering why the two didn't just get together and hop up in the studio themselves and record the music. And I don't have an answer for that. I tried a long time ago to fathom the workings of Justin Timberlake's mind, guys, and it was like looking into the eye of a tornado. Or the brown eye of Kim Kardashian. Both are equally terrifying in their own right, and both are sort of lazy in their paths, yet destructive as hell. Which is where I'm starting to think Justin Timberlake is headed. (To "lazy," not to "Kim Kardashian's brown eye" that is.) /> The new hip-hop group is called FreeSol, this is their latest single, and it's been created by Timbaland and, of course, Justin Timberlake. It's also kind of mediocre. And honestly, it's a pure Timbaland/Timbalake hybrid, because the music is straight-up Justin and the lyrical rhymes are straight-up Timbaland. So you're probably wondering why the two didn't just get together and hop up in the studio themselves and record the music. And I don't have an answer for that. I tried a long time ago ...

LeAnn Rimes Probably Has a Giant Gash Where Her Tailbone is Supposed to Be

photo of leann rimes pictures snowboarding skiing photos pics skinny picture I know, that's not the visual you really wanted to fill your subconscious with in the hours before winding down for the evening, was it? I mean, "LeAnn Rimes" and "gash" in the same sentence is enough, for me, to go into full-body convulsions, complete with projectile vomiting, but hey. I could go on, but I won't. I had spaghetti and Caesar salad for dinner, and it was good, so I'd like to keep it where it is, thanks. Anyway, LeAnn decided to go snowboarding, where she apparently fell and bus...

Because Your Ears Should Bleed At Least Once a Year: The 2011 Pop Music Mashup

In short, music (OK, pop music) in 2011 was terrible. Terrible, awful, and kind of embarrassing for everyone involved, actually. Thank God there are other genres that don't completely suck and can fill the void that pop music has left in our hearts since it really crapped the bed in the early 00's, because really, how much garbage-Katy Perry music can one stand before going COMPLETELY nuts? /> In short, music (OK, pop music) in 2011 was terrible. Terrible, awful, and kind of embarrassing for everyone involved, actually. Thank God there are other genres that don't completely suck and can fill the void that pop music has left in our hearts since it really crapped the bed in the early 00's, because really, how much garbage-Katy Perry music can one stand before going COMPLETELY nuts? ...

Afternoon Delight

photo of katy perry hot boobs pictures photos pics Courtney Cox's tits were fab this year. [The Superficial] John Legend's engagement photos. [Starpulse] Lady Gaga's X-rated Christmas gift. [Starpulse] Fantasia wants her married baby-daddy to pay for her baby. [Bossip] Florence Welch performs for Harrod's. [Socialite Life] Katie Holmes' see-through dress. [The Superficial] Paris Hilton is a brunette now. [Celebslam] More Stephanie Seymour bikini photos, less son erections. [The Blemish] The Jenner girls are starting their own business. [Socialite Life] Kobe Bryant ...

People Says Taylor Lautner’s Gay

photo of taylor lautner people magazine gay Taylor Lautner's gay, guys, thought you knew. At least, according to this leaked allegedly-fake January 2012 issue, featuring Taylor Lautner on a cover emblazoned with the caption "Out and Proud! Tired of the rumors, the Twilight star opens up about his decision to finally come out." The thing is, though, that People vehemently denies that this is an actual thing, but there's no talk of lawsuits for ... well, whatever legal term you'd use in suing someone for saying you're gay when you're not ...

The Top 5 Douchebags of 2011

photo of massengill douche logo pics Yup, I spent the last few hours racking my brain over who the most obnoxious, most heinous celebrities were of 2011 and though there were probably, like, eighty-six I could have placed on this list (not including others from previous years that continue their douchebag reign well into the later parts of the decade), I decided on five. #5 - Doug Hutchison I know. I know. Some of you guys probably have a soft little spot in your hearts for Doug Hutchison because he just seems on the outskirts...