My name is Vermin, Vermin Supreme And you can vote, you can vote for me. For president if you want And my name is Vermin, and uh, okay. Do you still stand by your pony pledge Yes, I do, free ponies for all Turn all that pony poop to methane gas. One more thing, Jesus told me to make Randall Terry gay - He's turnin' gay, turnin' gay! Whooo Whoooo! Thank you, alright, okay. And all the un-gay is melting away! He's turnin' gay, turnin' gay! Whooo Whoooo! Not a single straight gene in his DNA 'Cause he's turnin' turnin' turnin' turnin' Turnin' gay! Our instinct says everybody should vote but some people are dumb - and they shouldn't vote! The kids are not paying attention - Yeah, on election day give 'em detention This endless cheerleading - Let's go to the rock concerts, register the kids. All the kids are so stupid, stupid, dumb stupid. Speaker Gingrich, do you propose kids work as janitors? You can hire 30-some kids for the price of one janitor Those kids who get money, cash money. Light janitorial duty - get money Work in the cafeteria - cash money Cash money is a good thing if you're poor Get some cash money, then get some more. Imma help poor people learn how to get a job Imma, imma help poor people learn how to get That money, that cash Get money, get a stash Get that money, that cash Get money, get a whole damn stashSo, alright. Are we in agreement that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is probably going to be the next big thing of 2012? Yes? That's good. Because I like when we can all be in agreement over something - especially something as magical and wonderful as the kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun getting his long-overdue ... dueness. /> OK, so this is officially the greatest thing I've seen all day, if not all week. This is Joseph Gordon-Levitt's latest video, which is a combination of autotune the news and his special brand of political satire. I realize that it's not as cutesy and hipster as his former video with our girl Zooey Deschanel, but it's entertaining, informative, and above all, it's Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Does much more matter ... much? Also. Is anyone completely drawn in by the fact (yes, the fact) that JGL looks so much like the late Heath Ledger in the opening ten seconds of the video? Damn and blast,...
OK, so this is officially the greatest thing I've seen all day, if not all week. This is Joseph Gordon-Levitt's latest video, which is a combination of autotune the news and his special brand of political satire. I realize that it's not as cutesy and hipster as his former video with our girl Zooey Deschanel, but it's entertaining, informative, and above all, it's Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Does much more matter ... much?
Also. Is anyone completely drawn in by the fact (yes, the fact) that JGL looks so much like the late Heath Ledger in the opening ten seconds of the video? Damn and blast, bitches. Especially when he says, "I'll be accompanying you on my Strat." Talk about way creepy, in a bizarrely-hot sort of way.
Finally, here are the lyrics in case, you know, you couldn't read the captions at the bottom of the video the first time around (or just couldn't watch the video or hear its audio for whatever reason):
Ooh, Miley, you dirty little piggy, you. What will daddy say when he sees his little princess gesticulating all over a large, penis-shaped cake? Oh, and then swigging back Long Island iced teas like a Jersey Shore reject while batting obviously-fake eyelashes (one of which is starting to come undone, thus looking like an escaped tarantula that's about to eat a face)? Then, to put the cherry on top, she's found table dancing, exposing her black lace thigh-highs to everyone! Wow. Way to go, girl. T...
From OK! Magazine:
"I have three questions," host Andy Cohen explained on his show," Watch What Happens Live. "You may 'Plead the Fifth' on just one question."
1.) "If you could have ten minutes alone in a room with LeAnn Rimes and suffer no repercussions, what would you do or say to her?"
"Plead the Fifth," Brandi said.
2.) "When was the last time you watched porn?"
"I don't watch porn," she said. "A year ago. Maybe. Randomly."
3.) "Who is the most famous person, besides Edd...
Vanessa Paradis really hates Johnny Depp. [The Superficial]
Kim Kardashian's looking for a man, guys. [Starpulse]
... And she didn't expect all of the "backlash" that came from "following her heart." [Bitten and Bound]
Whitney Houston is dead broke, begging friends for a hundred bucks. [Bossip]
Seal's "special camera room" ruined his marriage. [The Superficial]
Keven Federline had a heart attack. [Socialite Life]
Justin Bieber really, really wants your approval, wants to get it on on a roller coaster. [The
Blemish]
Diddy's just in it for the sex. [Cele...
No, I guess it isn't very nice to tell someone that they look like a pedophile, because first, anyone can look like a pedophile and we wouldn't even know it because there are probably some attractive and not-at-all creepy-looking pedophiles running around out there. Second, it's in bad taste to assume that anyone sporting an unflattering mustache could look like a stereotypical pedophile. I mean, it's not like I'm using this photo as an example to go by in comparison or anything:
That guy rig...
It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!
We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!
The winner on last week’s Justin Bieber photo: Mireee
“You know, girls do belong in the kitchen. I tell [Sel...
Is Vanessa Hudgens still "doughy"? [The Superficial]
11 Misquoted Movie Lines. [The Frisky]
Halle Berry says Gabriel Aubry is crazy, abusive, attacked a nanny. [TMZ]
50 Cent won half-a-mil betting on the Giants. [Starpulse]
Aretha Franklin calls off her engagement, is seen as unstable. [Lainey Gossip]
2012 Oscar Nominations - check 'em out here. [LA Times]
The Top 5 Reasons Heidi Klum and Seal Split. [Socialite Life]
Anna Kournikova looks nothing like Anna Kournikova. [Yeeeah]
Madonna wears th...
No, no - we don't wish that Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis would snap it off (generally). But in light of all of the lost love in the world, we decided to compile a list of 5 couples that we wish the ultimate demise upon: the big breakup. What with Seal and Heidi Klum calling it quits, and Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis (and, of course, you can't forget - sniff, sniff - Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries), we thought it prudent to really stick it to those who deserve it, rather than those who ...
You know what's so great about Courtney Stodden? OK, Another thing, that is? It's that she's always up for good, old-fashioned fun and it's kind of neat to watch her grow up before our very eyes. So that's two things. I guess I can't count this morning, but what I can count on is Courtney Stodden continuously making beautiful music for us to love and dance to and laugh at. Isn't that like Paula Abdul said in the nineties, a 'promise of a new day'? Isn't it wonderful that we can count on these things? Relationships can go...
Ah, another celebrity trying to stay away from Twitter because they can't help but sound like an ass each and every time they open their mouth, whee! See, when I think of celebrities saying, "I'm taking a break from Twitter, OMG", I automatically associate those words with people like Ashton Kutcher and LeAnn Rimes. Who are just two of the celebrities who've claimed that they were taking breaks from Twitter, but couldn't stay away for more than, like, a few days at the most. I didn't really think...