"Angelina Jolie looked like a fool the way she posed. She took herself right out of that superstar category because you now realize she stands in front of a mirror to figure out what she looks like. Have you ever seen anybody stand with their hand on a hip with a leg thrown out to open an envelope? No, and you want to say, ‘You idiot! You’ve brought us back to the fact that you used to wear blood around your neck and French kiss your brother!’”
Oh dear. That day has finally come. It'...
Sigh. But some of you do, and I'm not going to cheat those of you who watch this show out of the necessary knowledge that's come down the pipe. Like how they've chosen the cast of character's for this season's season season's season, and it's composed of some pretty random (and some completely obscure) choices. Are you ready for 'em? Here goes. From our good friends at Starpulse, who went to the trouble of defining some of the more "who the f-ck is that" choices:
Jack Wagner is a soap opera ...
Am I the only one completely tickled to death that it says - right next to Megan's flawless visage - 'What he wants to SEE during sex'? I mean, come on! Duh! This is a no-brainer! Megan Fox would be the answer to that question, but the editors of Cosmo wanted to be all sly about it and test your sensibilities. Did you pass or did you fail?
In her latest interview, Megan's not talking about international geography thankfully, but she's talking about something that's considered maybe even more...
Jessica Simpson's pregnancy is rapidly advancing. [The Superficial]
Katy Perry is Amy Winehouse? [Bitten and Bound]
Tisdale has a boyfriend! [Starpulse]
What Lindsay will be doing on SNL. [The Superficial]
Two bizarre men who are vying for Katy Perry's attentions. [Bossip]
What Taylor Swift looks like sans makeup. [Socialite Life]
More Attention Whoring 101. [Celebslam]
WOW, Frieda Pinto. Wow. [Yeeeah]
Madonna's new album art is LOL. [The Blemish]
The couple behind the kissing-Marine video. [OMGBlog]
You'll die when you hear who Alexander Skarsgard ...
It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize.
Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!
We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!
The winner on last week’s Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez photo: Bob
"After a messy breakup with Justin Bieber,...
The moment that Heidi Klum knew she had to kill herself. [The Superficial]
Hot Royal Dudes. [The Frisky]
Chris Brown is singing Rihanna's songs now. [TMZ]
Snooki and J Woww are filming their reality spin-off. [Socialite Life]
Kate Upton for Carl Jr's. It's hot. [Starpulse]
Angelina Jolie is trying really, really hard. [Lainey Gossip]
Star Trek 2 stuff, you nerd. [Pajiba]
Gwyneth Paltrow is making demands on Beyonce now. [Amy Grindhouse]
Katy Perry will win a man with her cooking skills. [Yeeeah]
Was Paltrow also the Best at the Os...
On your marks - get set! - go! Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Love Hewitt are head to head in competition for saddest reality famewhore of ... um, I don't know. Just this post, I suppose. I know you guys are probably thinking, "Blasphemy! Sacrilege!" because I'm sort of slamming one of my favorite ladies (Jennifer Love Hewitt, of course), but really, I'm not. I'm merely being realistic.
Come on. These two ladies both look like they've been up all night - both for different reasons, naturally; I...
Are you seeing this? Or am I the only one losing my mind, thinking that January Jones looks ... well, quite a bit like she-of-the-glitter-orifices and scary oral sex photos?
But it's not! It's January Jones, and this is what she looked like for the 2012 Vanity Fair Oscar Party, and if I can be quite honest, the look is awful. Ke$ha's a pretty girl in her own right (and January Jones ... well, if you've been around this blog long enough, then you probably already know how I feel about this u...
Uh, note to Madonna? It's not 1986, you're not Gwen Stefani, and this song ... well quite honestly, it sort of sucks - much like your last new single, 'Give Me All Your Luvin'. Bad girl! Bad!
This is the lady's new single, 'Girl Gone Wild' (yes, 'Girl Gone Wild'). Here are some of the lyrics:
"I got that burnin' hot desire/ And no one can put out my fire/ It's coming right down through the wire/ Here it comes/ When I hear them 808 drums/ It's got me singing / Hey, ey, ey, ey/ Like a girl gone wild/ A good girl gone wild/ I'm like, hey, ey, ey, ey/ Like a girl gone wild/ A good girl gone wild ... The room is spinning/ It must be the Tanqueray/ I'm about to go astray/ My inhibition's gone away/ I feel like sinning/ You got me in the zone/ DJ play my favorite song/ Turn me on."
ZOMG, instant classic, right?
Thing is, Madonna's trying way to hard to sexualize herself and sell the package to everyone who doesn't care anymore. I don't want all of Madonna's 'luvin', and I'm not excited by the prospect of Madonna equating herself as a 'girl gone wild'. I also don't see the appeal of a fifty-some year-old woman singing about how gin's got her all wacked out on the dance floor. See, a woman (or a man) can be sexy as hell as they age, because age has got nothing to do with confidence, wisdom, magnetism, and all-around appeal. As far as I'm concerned, Madonna's missed the boat on all of those things except for confidence (and that's even questionable) for the past decade. Maybe if you'd stop trying so hard, Madge, people might take you more seriously. You've been in the business a long, long time. This should be second nature to you by now, girl.
Can we all be in agreement about this? Would that be OK? />
Uh, note to Madonna? It's not 1986, you're not Gwen Stefani, and this song ... well quite honestly, it sort of sucks - much like your last new single, 'Give Me All Your Luvin'. Bad girl! Bad!
This is the lady's new single, 'Girl Gone Wild' (yes, 'Girl Gone Wild'). Here are some of the lyrics:
"I got that burnin' hot desire/ And no one can put out my fire/ It's coming right down through the wire/ Here it comes/ When I hear them 808 drums/ It's got me singing / Hey, ey, ey, ey/ Like a girl gone wild/ A good girl gone wild/ I'm like, hey, ey, ey, ey/ Like a girl gone wild/ A good girl gone wild ... The room is spinning/ It must be the Tanqueray/ I'm about to go as...
Wait a second. Why was Miley even at the Oscars? That'd be like ... I don't know, LL Cool J at the ... Grammys? Oh. Oh. Never mind. I get you. Alright. And what's that? She may not have actually been AT the Oscars, just at Sir Elton John's viewing party? Makes total sense then, I guess.
Anyway. All preconceived notions aside, Miley (though there were tons and tons and tons of very unimpressive dresses in attendance at last night's awards - I know; I didn't watch, but I did check out the fashion...
Know who I love? Duh. Emma Watson! She's just so cute and sweet and ... well, frankly, getting pretty damned hot. Like, look at those legs. They go on for miles, and unlike the young Courtney Stodden, they LOOK post-pubescent and not-at-all pedophilish. It's good things all around with Emma Watson and her budding sexuality, and frankly, I just can't see her shacking up with a man who's three times her age just for the publicity. Nope, Emma's got class, and Courtney's just ... trash. Yes, young t...
Kate Winslet's big, amazing boobs. [The Superficial]
Jessica Chastain was crazy at the Oscars. [Lainey Gossip]
Olivia Wilde lost a bunch of weight. [Starpulse]
Grease Lightning! [theBERRY]
Ian Somerhalder definitely got plastic surgery. [Socialite Life]
RIP Jan Berenstain. [TMZ]
Gwyneth Paltrow is officially busted. [Cele|bitchy]
Sean Young was arrested post-Oscars for slapping a bitch. [Popbytes]
Ryan Seacrest got ashed. [Huff Po]
More 'Best' and 'Worst' of the red carpet. [Bitten and Bound]
The best accessories of the Academy ...
"Angelina Jolie looked like a fool the way she posed. She took herself right out of that superstar category because you now realize she stands in front of a mirror to figure out what she looks like. Have you ever seen anybody stand with their hand on a hip with a leg thrown out to open an envelope? No, and you want to say, ‘You idiot! You’ve brought us back to the fact that you used to wear blood around your neck and French kiss your brother!’”
Oh dear. That day has finally come. It'...
Sigh. But some of you do, and I'm not going to cheat those of you who watch this show out of the necessary knowledge that's come down the pipe. Like how they've chosen the cast of character's for this season's season season's season, and it's composed of some pretty random (and some completely obscure) choices. Are you ready for 'em? Here goes. From our good friends at Starpulse, who went to the trouble of defining some of the more "who the f-ck is that" choices:
Jack Wagner is a soap opera ...
Am I the only one completely tickled to death that it says - right next to Megan's flawless visage - 'What he wants to SEE during sex'? I mean, come on! Duh! This is a no-brainer! Megan Fox would be the answer to that question, but the editors of Cosmo wanted to be all sly about it and test your sensibilities. Did you pass or did you fail?
In her latest interview, Megan's not talking about international geography thankfully, but she's talking about something that's considered maybe even more...
Jessica Simpson's pregnancy is rapidly advancing. [The Superficial]
Katy Perry is Amy Winehouse? [Bitten and Bound]
Tisdale has a boyfriend! [Starpulse]
What Lindsay will be doing on SNL. [The Superficial]
Two bizarre men who are vying for Katy Perry's attentions. [Bossip]
What Taylor Swift looks like sans makeup. [Socialite Life]
More Attention Whoring 101. [Celebslam]
WOW, Frieda Pinto. Wow. [Yeeeah]
Madonna's new album art is LOL. [The Blemish]
The couple behind the kissing-Marine video. [OMGBlog]
You'll die when you hear who Alexander Skarsgard ...
It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize.
Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!
We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!
The winner on last week’s Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez photo: Bob
"After a messy breakup with Justin Bieber,...
The moment that Heidi Klum knew she had to kill herself. [The Superficial]
Hot Royal Dudes. [The Frisky]
Chris Brown is singing Rihanna's songs now. [TMZ]
Snooki and J Woww are filming their reality spin-off. [Socialite Life]
Kate Upton for Carl Jr's. It's hot. [Starpulse]
Angelina Jolie is trying really, really hard. [Lainey Gossip]
Star Trek 2 stuff, you nerd. [Pajiba]
Gwyneth Paltrow is making demands on Beyonce now. [Amy Grindhouse]
Katy Perry will win a man with her cooking skills. [Yeeeah]
Was Paltrow also the Best at the Os...
On your marks - get set! - go! Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Love Hewitt are head to head in competition for saddest reality famewhore of ... um, I don't know. Just this post, I suppose. I know you guys are probably thinking, "Blasphemy! Sacrilege!" because I'm sort of slamming one of my favorite ladies (Jennifer Love Hewitt, of course), but really, I'm not. I'm merely being realistic.
Come on. These two ladies both look like they've been up all night - both for different reasons, naturally; I...
Are you seeing this? Or am I the only one losing my mind, thinking that January Jones looks ... well, quite a bit like she-of-the-glitter-orifices and scary oral sex photos?
But it's not! It's January Jones, and this is what she looked like for the 2012 Vanity Fair Oscar Party, and if I can be quite honest, the look is awful. Ke$ha's a pretty girl in her own right (and January Jones ... well, if you've been around this blog long enough, then you probably already know how I feel about this u...
Wait a second. Why was Miley even at the Oscars? That'd be like ... I don't know, LL Cool J at the ... Grammys? Oh. Oh. Never mind. I get you. Alright. And what's that? She may not have actually been AT the Oscars, just at Sir Elton John's viewing party? Makes total sense then, I guess.
Anyway. All preconceived notions aside, Miley (though there were tons and tons and tons of very unimpressive dresses in attendance at last night's awards - I know; I didn't watch, but I did check out the fashion...
Know who I love? Duh. Emma Watson! She's just so cute and sweet and ... well, frankly, getting pretty damned hot. Like, look at those legs. They go on for miles, and unlike the young Courtney Stodden, they LOOK post-pubescent and not-at-all pedophilish. It's good things all around with Emma Watson and her budding sexuality, and frankly, I just can't see her shacking up with a man who's three times her age just for the publicity. Nope, Emma's got class, and Courtney's just ... trash. Yes, young t...
Kate Winslet's big, amazing boobs. [The Superficial]
Jessica Chastain was crazy at the Oscars. [Lainey Gossip]
Olivia Wilde lost a bunch of weight. [Starpulse]
Grease Lightning! [theBERRY]
Ian Somerhalder definitely got plastic surgery. [Socialite Life]
RIP Jan Berenstain. [TMZ]
Gwyneth Paltrow is officially busted. [Cele|bitchy]
Sean Young was arrested post-Oscars for slapping a bitch. [Popbytes]
Ryan Seacrest got ashed. [Huff Po]
More 'Best' and 'Worst' of the red carpet. [Bitten and Bound]
The best accessories of the Academy ...