You know, I've never seen Taylor perform with her band, The Pretty Reckless. Then again, I've never seen Taylor Momsen do anything in public in person, so maybe that's a little extra-why this video surprised me, but at the same time, didn't surprise me at all. At the :23 mark, you have Taylor whipping her extra-long, extra-stringy, extra-blonde hair around like she's riding the wrong side of a stripper pole (but really, is there ever really a wrong side?) and from there, the video only gets worse. No, really: it gets worse.
At the :32 mark, Taylor turns around to face the crowd and has a sloppy, lazy, smeared-lipstick smile on that positively screams "HEROIN!" That, and who cut her bangs? Girlfriend's probably got a fair amount of money that she hasn't frittered away on trying to look like an albino Marilyn Manson, and she's cutting her own damn bangs? It's obvious. I've been there. But I have an excuse. I'm a reclusive writer. I'm paranoid about people bringing scissors to my face. OK, that's a lie. I'm actually too lazy to make a damn hair appointment, alright? That's the truth.
At :49. The dude in the audience waving around the Devil Horns. Or is that the Shocker? I don't know. Maybe it's a lady with sausages for fingers maybe. Whatever.
After that it gets pretty boring and I may have dozed off until the : mark. That, or the heavy-duty pain meds are making me zone out. Please don't make me watch it again; I just can't do it. Anyway, somewhere around the three-minute mark, Taylor's friend, Jenna Haze (AKA "female pornstar") makes a stage appearance and does a standing lapdance for Taylor, which might have actually been kind of hot-ish if she weren't wearing a big, baggy t-shirt. At one point, they kiss. Gross. Doesn't Taylor know what kind of stuff was in that chick's mouth?
In short? This video makes me want to die, and if Taylor's intention was ... well, that, when composing the same-name song, then it was a total f-cking win, alright? GIRL WHO F-CKS FOR SATAN, 1; SARAH, 0. />
You know, I've never seen Taylor perform with her band, The Pretty Reckless. Then again, I've never seen Taylor Momsen do anything in public in person, so maybe that's a little extra-why this video surprised me, but at the same time, didn't surprise me at all. At the :23 mark, you have Taylor whipping her extra-long, extra-stringy, extra-blonde hair around like she's riding the wrong side of a stripper pole (but really, is there ever really a wrong side?) and from there, the video only gets wo...
Adorable, right? I thought maybe at first it was Jonathan Brandis (I know, remember him?), but then I got a good look at the kid's fingernails and thought, no, the kid who played the young Bill Denbrough in Stephen King's television adaption of It would never rock long, metallic mauve nails with gold rings.
.... WAIT. WAIT. Hold on one damn second! Jonathan Brandis is dead? Holy f-ck, where the hell have I been? I'm just finding this out now, as a surprise while researching photos of Jonathan Brandis playin...
Did you guys watch the video? Good. See, I watched the video before I actually found out why the ad was being banned, and I was all like, "Damn! What kind of ad execs think they can run words like 'f-ck' and 'c-cksucker' on television and not be banned? Did these guys actually not want the ad to run?" and then I read the accompanying statement from MTV as to why it was really banned.
Do me a favor, now. Go to the :28 mark of the video and tell me if you see anything out of the ordinary. What? No, you didn't? OK, go back and do it again, and this time, look for an "erect nipple." Did you see the "erect nipple" on Kate Upton? Because *that's* the reason that the ad's being banned from a variety of networks. Not for the profane language, not for the cockroach at the end being smushed by the dumpster (though I'm sure PETA probably had a field day with it), but because Kate Upton was nipping.
See the kind of world we live in, guys? You can talk about sucking d-cks and using sexual innuendos that could be taken in a garden variety of ways (like 'waxing'), but you can't show a nipple that's doing a natural nipple thing by poking all out because girl was running. I mean, I highly doubt she was aroused by the cockroaches, or the rat-looking skateboarder, but yet because Kate Upton's got a great rack, it's not OK.
Excuse me for a mo' if you would. My eyes just rolled so hard out, they popped out of my head and I think one of them may have ended up underneath the stove. Again. />
Did you guys watch the video? Good. See, I watched the video before I actually found out why the ad was being banned, and I was all like, "Damn! What kind of ad execs think they can run words like 'f-ck' and 'c-cksucker' on television and not be banned? Did these guys actually not want the ad to run?" and then I read the accompanying statement from MTV as to why it was really banned.
Do me a favor, now. Go to the :28 mark of the video and tell me if you see anything out of the ordinary. Wha...
I love this girl. Like, so hard. She's sweet and she's savvy, she's hot and she's intelligent, and there's really not a lot more hotness going on than a Republican conservative that's willing to endorse gay marriage. Haven't you heard? I'd totally do Meghan McCain and her fabulous, intelligent rack.
From Playboy:
PLAYBOY: Conservatives are as hard on you as liberals. Right-wing blogger Dan Riehl sniped that “this self-indulgent set of mega-breasts doesn’t belong anywhere near a TV stu...
From TMZ:
George Clooney has been arrested in Washington, D.C. during a protest over the Sudan crisis.
Clooney was leading a protest in front of the Sudanese embassy in D.C. when he was hauled away by secret service agents.
Clooney's publicist Stan Rosenfield tells TMZ, "They were protesting the violence committed by the government of Sudan on its own innocent men, women and children. They were demanding they allow humanitarian aid into the country before it becomes the largest humanitar...
Ray J needs professional help. [Bossip]
Lady Gaga wants to get pregnant. [The Superficial]
Is Karl Lagerfeld a hoarder? [Lainey Gossip]
Is this Jennifer Aniston's engagement ring? [Starpulse]
Jennifer Lopez cries about having good self-esteem. [Cele|bitchy]
George Clooney + Barack Obama = BFFs. [Huff Po]
Raquel Welch thinks porn has made us all sex addicts. [The Frisky]
Are single mothers damaged goods? [Bossip]
Nicki Minaj is huge and gross and plastic. [Yeeeah]
Shirt...
Wow, how is it possible that we haven't talked about Courtney Stodden in ... what, an entire week? Guys, my Courtney withdrawal actually got so bad that I went and searched for new Courtney news the other day and I came up empty-handed, save for her awesome and amazing website, which Emily talked about last week.
These photos, however, showed right up this morning as if they just knew I was waiting for them, and when I flipped through the first couple, I knew I had hit the jackpot. Or, you k...
"If he wants to talk to you, HE will call/text you. If he doesn't, then he doesn't want to. Never call the guy first. #datingproblems".
"The hard part is waiting for that moment if you really like them.. Or getting disappointed when your phone rings and it's not him".
"Oh jesus people, don't get your panties in a wad. I'm not being sexist, I'm being old-fashioned. Can't ever say sh**on this thing."
See these things? These are the things that Demi Lovato's been putting up on her Twitte...
Ugh.
From Radar Online:
The Caribbean Queen shed some light on the situation in an interview with On Air with Ryan Seacrest Thursday, explaining the rationale behind their puzzling pair of performances on each other’s new tracks, her “Birthday Cake” and “Turn Up the Music,” three years after he brutally pummeled her following a pre-Grammy party in Hancock Park, a suburb of Los Angeles.
“I already spoke to him about doing ‘Birthday Cake’ because that’s the only perso...
I like Carrie Underwood. Seriously, I really do. I'm not a huge fan of the whole country thing, but I think she's a really sweet girl, I love her story, I love that she's probably the most famous American Idol ever (and ever will be), and I think she's genuinely a good, positive role model for little girls growing up with a media that constantly tells them that they're not good enough. Carrie Underwood is awesome, OK?
But I read an interview that she recently did with Self magazine, and I hav...
This is Jennifer Lopez and her ugly twin, presumably on the set of a new music video or something. Because I can't, for the life of me, imagine why else Jennifer Lopez might need a stunt double. She does movies like Maid in Manhattan and The Wedding Planner. And that one time she did that one semi-non-rom-com movie, Gigli, she ended up getting engaged to Ben Affleck, and I think that's something that *no one* wants to have repeated ever again in this life.
No, I can't fathom for the life of me w...
You'll never believe what the cast of Jersey Shore wants to do with Snook's baby. [The Superficial]
Middleton goes 'sporty'. [Lainey Gossip]
PHOTO POLL: Ashley Judd claims she did not get plastic surgery. What do you think? [Starpulse]
George Clooney busses himself around. [Lainey Gossip]
12 Annoying Phrases Used to Describe Women. [The Frisky]
Bobbi Kristina's engagement ring. [TMZ]
Michelle Obama hates Stacy Keibler. [Cele|bitchy]
Robert Pattinson and Tom Sturridge. So hot. [Laine...