Yeah, I know: this lard-ass again. Jeez. I'm sure so many of you are so sick and tired of looking at her tubby body and fat head, so I'll make this short and sweet---Kate Upton nipples. OK? Or, for those of you who don't cite English as your first language, The Nipples of Kate Upton. Better? Good.
They're after the jump, and I don't care *how* enormous you think she is---nipples are nipples, and these are some pretty fabulous nipples, alright?
Jump in for the nipples, dude.
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Yeah, I know: this lard-ass again. Jeez. I'm sure so many of you are so sick and tired of looking at her tubby body and fat head, so I'll make this short and sweet---Kate Upton nipples. OK? Or, for those of you who don't cite English as your first language, The Nipples of Kate Upton. Better? Good.
They're after the jump, and I don't care *how* enormous you think she is---nipples are nipples, and these are some pretty fabulous nipples, alright?
Jump in for t...
From STV:
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are expected to make their wedding vows to one another in New Orleans, Louisiana, by the end of the year.
Reports surfaced earlier this week that the A-list movie stars were to say ‘I do’ in Britain, where they have been living in recent weeks.
The couple were said to be planning a low-key wedding in Windsor, before enjoying a honeymoon at their South of France home in Provence.
But according to heat magazine, Brangelina are actually gong to...
Katie Holmes is a real gangster. [The Superficial]
Will and Kate aren't sleeping together any more. Just kidding. These are the photos of when they WERE sleeping together. [Lainey Gossip]
So that's where Chris O'Donnell's been. Good. [Starpulse]
The One Direction girlfriend saga continues. [Socialite Life]
Sofia Vergara's engagement ring. [TMZ]
The sex diet. No, really: the SEX DIET. [The Frisky]
Whatever, Leonardo DiCaprio. Whatever. [Celebslam]
Television actors and their non...
It's called 'Do It Better', and it's just as awesome as Chet's last video for 'Hollywood'. No lie, guys. No lie.
This song is so completely tuneless, by the way, that it's impossible to hum. It's impossible to retain in your mind, because it's got no discernible hook. If I can put all of my sarcasm aside for a millisecond, I've got something to say---this song (unsurprisingly) completely sucks. I mean, "Bacon got your body got your heart it got your soul*"? What the crap is that?
All I know is that Chet friend here is always talking about how good he is and how much better he can do it, so I'm saying, you know, just on the basis of science, that maybe I should go ahead and take him up on his general offer and see if he can, in fact, do it better, because even though he completely sucks at rap and life (he's Tom Hanks' son and he's doing this?), everybody's got to have something that they're good at.
Last, and maybe it's just Fatmire overload, but does the chick in the video not look like our very darling Fatmire? Could that be Fatmire? Because SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE FATMIRE.
It's called 'Do It Better', and it's just as awesome as Chet's last video for 'Hollywood'. No lie, guys. No lie.
This song is so completely tuneless, by the way, that it's impossible to hum. It's impossible to retain in your mind, because it's got no discernible hook. If I can put all of my sarcasm aside for a millisecond, I've got something to say---this song (unsurprisingly) completely sucks. I mean, "Bacon got your body got your heart it got your soul*"? What the crap is that?
All I kn...
It's called 'Do It Better', and it's just as awesome as Chet's last video for 'Hollywood'. No lie, guys. No lie.
This song is so completely tuneless, by the way, that it's impossible to hum. It's impossible to retain in your mind, because it's got no discernible hook. If I can put all of my sarcasm aside for a millisecond, I've got something to say---this song (unsurprisingly) completely sucks. I mean, "Bacon got your body got your heart it got your soul*"? What the crap is that?
All I kn...
First of all, can I say that Evan Rachel Wood is f-cking retarded without ruffling people's feathers? No? OK, then. I won't.
The above is a video of Evan Rachel Wood getting her nose pierced, and if you can get through the entire thirty-seven seconds of mouth-breathing and semi-inappropriate, audible orgasms, then you can actually witness Evan Rachel Wood getting her nose pierced. Can you imagine what sitting through an entire tattoo sesh would be like? Madness, guys. It would be sheer madness.
On a related note, I once had my nose pierced. And while it wasn't the most pain-free body piercing I ever had, it certainly wasn't the worst (the bellybutton, guys---the bellybutton was the worst). And it certainly wasn't bad or "bad" enough that I had to all act like it was one of the most exhilarating things that's ever happened to me. Because the whole exaggerated "Ohhhh f------------ck" thing at the end and the self-satisfied little smirk? Ugh. I wanted to just die a little bit right there. Oh. Wait. No. Her, I mean, not me.
Even the piercer (who's probably seen it all) is like, "Dude. Get this silly bitch out of my chair. Please?" />
First of all, can I say that Evan Rachel Wood is f-cking retarded without ruffling people's feathers? No? OK, then. I won't.
The above is a video of Evan Rachel Wood getting her nose pierced, and if you can get through the entire thirty-seven seconds of mouth-breathing and semi-inappropriate, audible orgasms, then you can actually witness Evan Rachel Wood getting her nose pierced. Can you imagine what sitting through an entire tattoo sesh would be like? Madness, guys. It would be sheer madness.
On a related note, I once had my nose pierced. And while it wasn't the mos...
From People:
The actress, 33, was increasingly unhappy in her five-year marriage to Tom Cruise as she realized "she no longer had the life she wanted, in terms of her career, her way of life, everything," a source tells PEOPLE in this week's cover story.
So she took action – quickly.
"Once she decided to go, she was done," says the source.
With help from her unflinching attorney father Martin, she orchestrated a secretive exit strategy that included moving into a new downtown Manh...
Robin Thicke smashed a car. [TMZ]
Lady Gaga wants you to see her nipples. [Starpulse]
Is Kris Jenner cheating? [Starpulse]
That's one tall boyfriend, girlfriend. [Lainey Gossip]
Adele is definitely having that baby soon. [The Superficial]
Of course Sofia Vergara's getting married. [The Blemish]
'Gangster Squad' Trailer #2. [theBERRY]
Lindsay Lohan's next movie project. [Huff Po]
Avril Lavigne is not dating Marilyn Manson. I don't think. [Hollywood PQ]
Miley Cyrus has a history tattoo. [Sociali...
"America's first Black president hasn't arisen yet. He [President Obama] is not America's first Black president - he's America's first mixed-race president. First thing that pops into my head regarding our president is that all of the people who are setting up this barrier...they just conveniently forget that Barack had a mama, and she was white - very white American, Kansas, middle of America."
So, wait a second. Am I to surmise that Morgan Freeman is claiming that our President isn't *really...
Wow! This one's turned into quite a looker, wouldn't you say? Can't guarantee that she's going to stay as cute as a button, though, because of that whole, pesky "two hotties make a nottie" thing, but one never does know, do they?
Here's a few hints to get you on your way---
---Girl's going through a turbulent time in her life right now, and I don't mean just adolescence
---Girl's got two way fashionable parents, though one of them could stand to lay off the eyeliner, scarves, and ever...
I know; I know. Her name is ... wait, let me look it up again quick---her name is Bonnie Wright, but I'm telling you right now---no matter how many times I write about this cute little doll of a girl, I'm always, always, *always* going to refer to her as Ginny Weasley, because no role she could ever take on again in life could ever be as epic as the one she took in playing the sassy, street-smart, soft-hearted Ginny Weasley in the Harry Potter movies. OK? Let's just deal.
Remember how I tol...
Roseanne recently posted a self-portrait on Twitter and captioned it ever-so-gracefully, "Fat old Jew," when in actuality, I think she looks pretty good for turning sixty this year. Yeah, you know, it's not the most flattering of photos, but then again, unless you're ninety-five pounds soaking wet, anyone's going to look kind of funny from a flat-on-the-chest view. Duh.
Also, did you guys know that Roseanne's going to be roasted next month? Yeah, by Comedy Central, and it's going to happen on A...