Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Conan O’Brien is Pretty F-ing Classy

As I told you earlier today, NBC put Conan O'Brien's nuts in a vice this week and gave him an ultimatum: start your show at 12:05 after an 11:35 Leno show, or get moving. Pretty harsh considering Conan's long relationship with the network and his cult-like fanbase. Then later today Conan released a statement saying that he's not going to move his show, and NBC can figure it out on their own. Well, he says it far more eloquently than that. Here's the statement: People of Earth:In the last few ...

Do You Know What Thighs Sound Like When They’re Repeatedly Rubbed Against Leather? Yes, They Have a Noise.

Mischa Barton is back in NYC with her pooch AND her dog and the three of them were seen walking around the East Village yesterday while she checked her voicemail. I wonder if it was the future calling to tell her she photograph's terribly in those pants and that they need to be discarded ASAP. On the positive tip, I still think she's looking better than she has in a long time. Her weight is proportional and healthy (some might even say "average") and hey! At least she's not crying, right? [ga...

Casey Johnson Buried Without a Tila In Sight

Casey Johnson (seen above with some of her old BFFs, Paris Hilton, Nicky Hilton and Kim Kardashian), was laid to rest today in New Jersey. Though the cause of her death is still undetermined (ehhhh... for the record, anyway), her family and friends remembered her in a private, open casket ceremony. There are more memorials being planned for the upcoming weeks. One person was noticeably missing from the ceremony was Casey's fiancee, Tila Tequila. According to sources close to Tila (probably...

Rebecca Romijn and the Twins Love Milk

Rebecca Romijn is the latest star to dawn a milk mustache in the famous campaign to promote the most popular beverage on Earth with the exception of water. What's special about this ad though is that with her are her and Jerry O'Connell's twin daughters, Dolly and Charlie. I don't know if we've seen much of these muffins since they were born, but man! Look at those adorable, fat babies! Especially that Dolly! You could stick that baby on a dessert tray and she'd be the most edible looking thing...

Quotables

"The only way to keep warm was by pouring a mix of boiling water and river water down your suit. We were finally done shooting for the day, and one of the crew guys asks if I want to warm up before I go. I'm like, Nah, I'm good. And then I thought, Why not?  Thing is, he'd forgotten to dilute the kettle water. So he poured scalding water down my suit. And I was trying to pull the suit away from my body to somehow get away from the boiling water, and the more I pulled the suit away, the lower the...

Screw Healthcare, I Want To Ensure That My Children Have Conan

Anyone else think this late night shuffle over at NBC is a bunch of bullshit? I was so pumped when they moved Conan from the later spot and Leno stepped down and went to an earlier time slot. It was like the perfect line up. Everyone who likes Jay Leno is asleep by the time Conan comes on, and then us adults can sit around and laugh at the Masturbating Bear. Well, as we all know by now, that plan didn't really work out and now Jay Leno's show is going to be bumped up an extra half hour. Now...

Snooki’s Attacker Was a High School Gym Teacher

Remember when that dude punched Snooki in the face on Jersey Shore? I don't know how you could forget. It's not every day that a man punches a woman in the face and when it does happen, rarely is it treated like a form of entertainment. The man responsible for throwing the punch, Brad Ferro, is finally paying for his actions and has just been canned from his job as a gym teacher in New York. Yup, he was a gym teacher. Does that solidify anyone else's childhood fears that their gym teacher was c...

Burlesque: Lookin’ Good So Far

Christina Aguilera looked stunning rocking that wig/glasses/scarf combo while shooting a scene for her upcoming movie, Burlesque. Of course Christina Aguilera is in a movie called burlesque (so are Kristen Bell and Julianne Hough.) I don't even think of the Pussycat Dolls when I hear that word, I think of X-Tina, who took her fascination with the artform to an all time high a couple years ago when practically everything she wore looked like it belonged on the stage of some Hollywood speakeasy...

Quotables

"When the Oscars were on, I had just given birth…I was sitting there with my twins – I couldn't have been happier – but I was like, 'How dope would it have been if I would've won the Oscar and been here in my hospital bed accepting the award? Thank you so much! I just want to thank the academy!'" -  Jennifer Lopez telling Latina Magazine that she was disappointed the Academy didn't nominate her for her 2008 film, El Cantante. I think it's pretty bold that she flat out admits to fe...

What Do We Think of This Person?

Hey, do we like Sarah Silverman? I like her public image, definitely. I always really sided with her after the Jimmy Kimmel break up (remember this baller move from her Emmy acceptance speech?), but I haven't checked out her Comedy Central show in a long time or seen her do stand up. I think the closest thing to her work that I've seen her do recently was this video, and I wasn't too crazy about that. So where do we stand on Sarah now? I need to hear your opinions to help me make up my mind. ...

Is This Matt Kemp Parody a Bit Mean?

This FunnyOrDie video parodying Match.com ads and Rihanna's new beau is a little on the mean side for my tastes, but I bet some of you will see the humor in it. The actor who plays Matt cracks jokes about how he's looking for a girl with "emotional baggage" (because she got beaten by her last boyfriend and doesn't talk to her father, I guess) and that wants to share an umbrella. He also says he wants a woman with a has a whiney voice and pauses in front of the camera at the end to say over and over again that ...

Golden Girls Holla’d at Gay Marriage Back in the Day

The awesome blog gayrights.change.org just dug up this classic Golden Girls clip that was way before it's time. Although we're still struggling with making marriage possible for everybody, Sophia Petrillo was preaching the importance of equal rights back when they were holding it down on ABC at 8:30 PM. This clip, for those of you who don't remember, is when Blanche's brother was set to marry his partner, much to Blache's dismay. Sophia steps in and explains to Blanche that her brother wants...
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