Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Courtney Love’s Career Not the Only Dead Thing She Wastes Money On

Courtney Love Now that we've paid tribute to Kurt Cobain's memory, let's drag it through the mud by talking about his battier than Christian Bale's boxers widow, Courtney Love. Let's talk about how she paid roughly $16,000 for a dead bird in a matchbox, then threw a one-woman crazy bitch party when someone with more sense than her (the moving men) mistook it for trash and threw it away. When [moving] men spotted a dead bird in a matchbox at Courtney Love’s house, they assumed it was junk and threw it ou...

The Fast and the Bi-Curious

Featuring the adorable duo of Seth Rogen and Andy Samberg, this 2 minute parody is probably 99% more entertaining than that $72 million dollar car-racing turd that opened at the box office this weekend. If by the end of this clip the hot Rogen on Sandburg tension has you yelling "Kiss him! Just fucking kiss him already!!" I understand your pain. And while it won't satisfy your sexual frustrations (oddly enough), I suggest reading the feature interview in April's issue of Playboy magazine. Rogen is one of only a handful of men to make it onto the magazine's cover, and the interview is seriously laugh-out-loud funny. Featuring the adorable duo of Seth Rogen and Andy Samberg, this 2 minute parody is probably 99% more entertaining than that $72 million dollar car-racing turd that opened at the box office this weekend. If by the end of this clip the hot Rogen on Sandburg tension has you yelling "Kiss him! Just fucking kiss him already!!" I understand your pain. And while it won't satisfy your sexual frustrations (oddly enough), I suggest reading the feature interview in April's issue of Playboy magazine. Rogen...

Don’t Mess with the Fallon Family

Fallon & wife Juvonen In this installment of How Twitter is Making the World of Celebrity Gossip an Even Weirder Place Than it Was Before, Jimmy Fallon and his family get kicked out of NY pizza restaurant Posto, get into a fistfight along the way, and then immediately tweet smack about the joint and someone who works there that he calls "carb face Carol." Before I continue, let's all take a moment to laugh bitterly at the ridiculous irony of life, given that "carb face Carol" jab and EB's own recent "Fat Arms" furor.... There. N...

Boldly Coming Where No Man Has Gone Before

William Shatner giving the finger with Long Beach mayor Bob Foster I'm so happy I wrote this post if for no other reason than it led me to this picture of William Shatner and the Mayor of Long Beach at the grand opening of Star Trek: The Tour-- a nasty little nugget of Treksploitation that floats 40 years worth of memorabilia around in a cruise ship, looking to fleece Trekkies and Trekkers in a city near you. Even though I say that, if it comes anywhere near Nashville (doubtfull since Tennessee is a land-locked state) I'll still fork over the cash to go see i...

Memory… And I Swear That I Don’t Have a Gun

It was 15 years ago today that Kurt Cobain took his own life with a shotgun blast to the head. His body and suicide note would be found three days later at his Seattle home. A very polarizing individual, everyone has their own opinions about the quality of his music, his status as a celebrity, and the appropriateness of memorializing his death because of its "ugly" qualities-- the fact that it was a suicide and that Kurt's continuous struggle with drug addiction was probably an influencing factor. But for a lot of people, Nirvana's music and Kurt's death constitute defining moments in their adolescence, and are therefore worth memorializing. The truth is that we depend upon artists to be the whipping boys for all our inner demons-- to feel intensely and confront directly the emotions and frightening parts of the human psyche that the rest of us struggle daily to keep under control or to ignore, and to somehow encapsulate those battles in four minutes and thirty seconds worth of commercially viable radio catharsis. Sometimes they lose those battles--casualties of an unseen war whose only manifestations are the writing, the acting, the painting, or the music the rest of us so enjoy. When those battles are lost, the rest of us remain the beneficiaries of their wills, inheriting a legacy of life experiences described vibrantly and succinctly through a lens of concentrated emotion that is at once both out of control and carefully contained in an artistic format-- be that literary, visual, or aural. So I don't feel at all inappropriate or pandering in memorializing his passing and recognizing his own unique contribution to the rock music canon. Rest in peace, Kurt. And thanks for the music. It was 15 years ago today that Kurt Cobain took his own life with a shotgun blast to the head. His body and suicide note would be found three days later at his Seattle home. A very polarizing individual, everyone has their own opinions about the quality of his music, his status as a celebrity, and the appropriateness of memorializing his death because of its "ugly" qualities-- the fact that it was a suicide and that Kurt's continuous struggle with drug addiction was probably an influencing factor....

So You Think You Can Rape

Alex DeSilva The sleazy bag of human excrement pictured above--  41-year old Alex DeSilva, choreographer for Fox's So You Think You Can Dance-- has been arrested and charged with multiple counts of sexual assault that took place between May 2003 and March 2009. The four victims in this case were all students of DeSilva at the time of the assaults. The victims alleged that he lured them to his homes in North Hollywood and Van Nuys. He then used a ruse to get them into his bedroom where he raped them... Bail has been set at $3.8 million doll...

Paris Hilton is a Robot

Paris Hilton Necromancer I've publicly expressed my theory that Paris Hitlon is a "human" who is slowly but surely turning into a robot-- further evidence of which can be found here and here. But I think I might have been a bit off in that accusation. She might be a robot that is slowly but surely turning into a human. Here, we see Paris at this Friday's launch of the new JC Penney clothing line I <3 Ronson, sporting her new hand, stolen from the grave of a 60-year-old British man and attached to her metal endoskeleton by an android necromancer. I like how they used a lovely lucite w...

Farrah Fawcett Hospitalized

Farrah Fawcett Farrah Fawcett has been hospitalized and is in critical but stable condition in an L.A. area hospital. The former Angel has been battling anal cancer since 2006 and recently returned from Germany where she was undergoing an experimental stem cell treatment. She seems to be in pretty bad shape, and has been unconscious for days. Family are gathering at her bedside, including her long-time significant other, Ryan O'Neal, and son Redmond....

Today’s Secret Ingredient: Donor Sperm

Cat and Jennifer Cora Iron Chef Cat Cora is is expecting a baby — and so is her wife Jennifer. They are both pregnant at the same time. Both expecting boys, Jennifer, 37, will deliver in April, while Cat, 41, is due in July. The couple’s new sons are from the same sperm donor as their older boys...the baby Cat is carrying [is] from Jennifer’s eggs. In Jennifer’s current pregnancy, both women’s embryos were transferred, so the biological mother is unknown. The couple do not to plan to conduct DNA te...

Saving Lives in 140 Characters or Less

A few weeks ago, Wendie wrote a post about how Ashton Kutcher tweeted his wife's twat, sending out a picture of Demi bending over in a white, distinctly hanes-her-way, creepy old men getting turned on by the underwear section of the Sears catalog style bikini. Then, her kids responded, supposedly saying they were mortified by the very public exchanges Demi and Ashton constantly send over the "micro-blogging" service. At first I felt embarrassed for the kids, because I wouldn't want pictures of my mom's butt plastered all over the internet either. But it turns out Demi's kids don't know shit....

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea?

Johnny Depp in Puerto Rico Johnny Depp was spotted, looking very "Valentino" (and I mean that in a derisive way) while filming on location in San Juan, Puerto Rico for his upcoming film, The Rum Diary. Aside from the gold-rimmed glasses and "my teeth are so white cuz I got a leather face" look, I want to talk about the picture in the gallery where it looks like he's being asked by the mother of a bed-ridden girl to "lay hands" on her. I've heard of fans worshipping their favorite celebrities, but never literally. ...

Jade Goody Funeral Service

Jack Tweed Carries Jade's Coffin Services were held for Jade Goody early Friday at St. John the Baptist Church in either Buckhurst Hill or Waltham Abbey.  The way English people name their towns is confusng to me, so I'm not exactly sure what the place was called. Several moderately famous television personalities were in attendance, as well as some fans who donned bright yellow sashes emblazoned with "In loving memory of Jade," and stood on the street in front of a large projector screen displaying Jade's name and dates of...
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