Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Gaga Dumped Over Mystery Makeout

Lady Gaga Makes Out with Mystery Man Lady Gaga had a boyfriend-- the kind who doesn't like it when his girlfriend makes out with other people. I don't know why that shocks me, but it does. I just imagine she's sort of like an angora rabbit that screws anything within humping distance that has a big enough carrot. But apparently her boyfriend, Speedy (whose real name and identity aren't known), didn't think of her that way. He dumped her a few days ago when photos of the Gagster making out with a new "mystery man" were published i...

Jesus is My Copilot

James Caviezel Involved in Motorcycle Crash James Caviezel was in a motorcycle accident outside of Leavenworth, Washington yesterday when a pedestrian whack-a-doo threw a bicycle in the path of his speeding Harley Davidson. The Washington State Patrol says the actor was wearing a helmet and suffered minor injuries when he crashed, but that the injuries easily "could have been a lot worse." No one knows why the man threw the bicycle at Caveziel, but police speculate he may be suffering from some form of mental illness. (Gee. Ya think?) Thi...

Orlando Bloom’s Girlfriend in Her Underwear

Miranda Kerr is a Japanese Sex Doll This is the chick that Orlando Bloom has proposed to, twice. This is also the chick that has turned down Orland Bloom, twice. These are pictures of said chick, Miranda Kerr, modeling the new line of Victoria's Secret lingerie. Now, I drink as much haterade as the next girl who spends a little more time each day struggling  into her size 10 jeans (that seem to be magically shrinking like one of Rick Moranis' on screen children in a Disney movie). But I've gotta say, I honestly don't find her attra...

Naomi Watts in a Wheelchair

Naomi Watts in a Wheelchair Don't worry, Naomi Watts isn't dying. She pulled a Gerald Ford when she arrived in Rome today for a short vacation with husband Liev Schreiber and son, Sasha. After tumbling down the steps while exiting her aircraft, Watts was escorted through the airport in a wheelchair by airport staff. However, there are no reports of any serious injury, so it was probably just a liability precaution on the part of the airport. You can continue with your lives now, knowing that Naomi Watts is hale, healthy...

Stupidest Stupid Dumbness

Pardon the ineloquent title. I'm just...speechless.
Detroit -- Police officials criticized the use of a four-car police escort for two hearses jammed with stuffed animals in memory of Michael Jackson on Friday morning as it headed to Woodlawn Cemetery. Detroit police officials couldn't say how much the escort cost the city... The escort guided the hearses from the funeral procession through red lights. Mourners had left the toys and other items at the Motown Museum on West Grand Boulevard since the singer died June 25. After sitting outside for three weeks, the toys were not safe to donate to a children's museum or orphanage, museum CEO Audley Smith said. "We have now concluded that it would be best to bury the items," Smith said Friday morning. Once at the cemetery, the toys were unloaded from the tops of the hearses and from boxes inside the vehicles. They were then placed into clear plastic bags and then inside donated vaults. The cemetery donated the equivalent of three graves for the vaults. Jackson's songs from more than 40 years of performing played over speakers as a service was held. "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough" played as the hearses arrived and "Ben" as the service ended. About 50 people were present...
Really America? Really? />Pardon the ineloquent title. I'm just...speechless. Detroit -- Police officials criticized the use of a four-car police escort for two hearses jammed with stuffed animals in memory of Michael Jackson on Friday morning as it headed to Woodlawn Cemetery. Detroit police officials couldn't say how much the escort cost the city... The escort guided the hearses from the funeral procession through red lights. Mourners had left the toys and other items at the Motown Museum on West Grand Bouleva...

Caleb vs. The Volcano

Octomom Nadya Suleman Lookin Classy in the Grocery Store Weren't some of you just wondering what happened to Octomom and what kind of craziness she would pull to wrestle a little entertainment media attention away from MJ and the Gosselin's? Well, it turns out the fastest way to get back into the news is to have your child eat a volcano. Suleman's 2 year old son Caleb was taken to the hospital this morning after ingesting the contents of his older brother's volcano kit. Reports are that Caleb vomited up most of the chemicals from the kit  (which...

That’s the Way it Is

I'm sure most of you have heard the news by now, but I would be derelict in my duties as a blogger, and would generally feel bad about myself as a human being, were I to blog about the passings of Billy Mays and Farrah Fawcett but leave out the esteemed Walter Cronkite. Cronkite passed away peacefully yesterday evening at the ripe old age of 92. For me, and for many of you as well, Cronkite is someone that I knew better for his legendary name than for any actual newscasting. By the time I...

Hang in There

Just Because - Cute Dog in a Toilet Paper Roll It's been a rough couple of weeks. In my own little world, I've had migraines all week and spent over two hours yesterday waiting for a tow truck on the side of the interstate. In a broader sense, people in Iran are dying in the streets while protesting for the right to have their votes counted, celebrities are dropping like flies in a little league baseball game, and the president of Honduras was overthrown yesterday while I was busy posting pictures of Katy Perry naked in a bathtub with ...

Ugly Betty Star Ana Ortiz Welcomes First Child

Ana Ortiz Welcomes First Child Star of ABC's Ugly Betty, Ana Ortiz, and her husband Noah Lebenzon welcomed their first child this Saturday, a little girl they've named Paloma Louise Lebenzon. Ana had been due this past Thursday, but the little tooter wasn't ready to enter the world until 4:25 p.m. yesterday. Paloma weighed in at a healthy 7 lbs., 10 oz., and both mother and baby are doing fine....

Mother of Michael Jackson’s Children Does Not Want Them

Debbie Rowe Michael Jackson's ex-wife and mother of his children, Debbie Rowe, is speaking out on a lot of topics now that M.J. has passed, and almost none of what she has to say is very pleasant. Amongst other revelations, she confirms that their marriage was a sham, says that Michael did not father the children, and claims they never bumped uglies. Unless you count accidental head-bumping, and in their case, I would. "He wanted to pretend that we were a family. But we never lived together as a couple. We...

Bacon Climbs a Mountain and Sings About Farrah Fawcett

16572955baconbrothers6282009105045pm Kevin Bacon has a band with his brother-- who I really wish was named "Macon," but is unfortunately called Michael. This weekend, the Bacon brothers hiked to the top of Pike's Peak in Colorado to play a benefit concert for the Love, Hope, Strength Foundation, an organization which describes itself as "an international, music-centric cancer charity dedicated to providing support for cancer centers, and inspiration to those affected, throughout the world." It took 6 hours for the 50 year old ...
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