Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan Topless in a Tiara

Lindsay Lohan Topless Lilo doing an "homage" photo shoot in her Calvins. By "homage" I mean that this isn't for an advertisement, or a promotion, or a magazine article, or for anything in particular. She was just bored. Is it just me or does being topless make Lindsay Lohan seem even more ridiculous? I'm as straight as the shortest distance between two points, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate seeing the occasional picture of a hot woman topless. This, however, does nothing for me. Except I now have this ...

Terrell Owens’ Honey Toasted Ego

Terrell Owens Breakfast Cereal Buffalo Bills wide receiver Terrell Owens has released his very own breakfast cereal-- the very cleverly named T O's. The concept has all the self-promotional appeal of Flutie Flakes, but without any of that bothersome altruism to get in the way. The ever humble Owens has said that having his "beautiful handsome face” on the cover is better than making it on a box of Wheaties. As for the cereal itself, I've heard that it tastes exactly like Honey Nut Cheerios, except with a picture of a j...

That White Powder Isn’t Oxiclean

Florida authorities released an autopsy report yesterday stating that repeated cocaine use most likely contributed to infomercial pitchman Billy Mays' death. And no one is surprised. Well, except for  his wife. Mays' angry family called the announcement "speculative ... and frankly unnecessary." His widow, Deborah, who found her husband dead in bed, said she may hire an independent expert to review the findings. She said she was unaware of any drug use by her husband, beyond prescripti...

How Much Are Your Children Worth to You?

Debbie Rowe in a Shirt that Shows Her Kindred Spirits: Bitches Wendie has a nose for bullshit that could rival the midwest's finest manure manufacturers. A few days ago, she reported that Debbie Rowe and the Jackson family had reached a custody agreement that allowed Rowe to retain her parental rights, but made Katherine Jackson-- Michael's mother-- the children’s legal guardian. It was reported that the agreement was reached without a single penny changing hands.Well, technically they were right.  I'd imagine that the $4 Million the Jackson family...

Nicolas Cage is Broke

Nicolas Cage is Broker than Every Swimming Record that's Ever Met Up with Michael Phelps Nicolas Cage owes $6.2 Million in back taxes to the IRS. The tax lien stems from unpaid income taxes for 2007. Months ago, the star settled another debt with the IRS, paying $666,000 in penalties for improperly deducted personal expenses. Cage's $3.5 Million New Orleans mansion is currently up for sale, as is his $35 Million Hollywood home. All sure signs that the actor is flat broke and is trying to dig himself out of a massive hole of debt. At first I felt kind of bad for him, but then I...

Stephenie Meyer to Star in Comic Book

Female Force: Stephanie Meyer The author if the Twilight series of novels is slated to appear in her very own comic book, entitled Female Force: Stephenie Meyer. Bluewater president Darren G. Davis was enthusiastic about the project, saying that Meyer’s story would be, “Very fun, respectful, and unique.”  The comic is scheduled to be released just in time for the sequel to the Twilight film titled New Moon, which is set for debut in late November of 2009.  Meyer joins good company with Female Force, a series of books des...

Marky Mark Ties the Knotty Knot

The Beautiful Bride Mark Wahlberg did the matrimonial deed with girlfriend Rhea Durham yesterday in Beverly Hills. As usual, the paps were there to annoy the wedding party and generally cause chaos outside the church. We reap the rewards of their tresspasses with these pics of the happy couple looking not so happy about all the photographers crashing the party. I understand wanting to keep your wedding day private-- something special for family and friends only. But they would have done better to just smile and p...

Night and Day

Ashlee and Jessica Simpson Grab a Bite The Simpson sisters grabbed a bite at Katsuya on Saturday night with their mutual hairstylist Ken Paves. You don't see the two of them together too often, but when you do, the differences in their personalities are really striking. Jessica looks like her usual sunny, happy,  self, but is in danger of having a serious wardrobe malfunction while Ashlee looks.... depressed. Just like she does in almost every picture I've seen of her for the past year. Jessica is the one who has been divorced...

Tara Reid Must Have a Job Building Concert Stages

Forget skydiving and promiscuous sex, concert-going has recently emerged as the most dangerous pastime. 1 person died and as many as 40 others were injured when a stage collapsed while country music singer Billy Currington was performing at the Big Valley Jamboree, one of Canada's biggest country music festivals. Currington himself received several lacerations on his face, and one of his band members was taken to the hospital after being pulled from the wreckage with a serious arm injury. Witnesses said that the power went out and the stage just sort of "crumbled." A strong thunderstorm that produced "hurricane level" winds and marble-sized hail is thought to have contributed to the stage's collapse. With the collapse of a stage in Marseille, France that was being constructed for a Madonna concert, that makes two people that have been killed in the last month by concert stages. Perhaps the only good thing to come out of this is that the performances for the rest of the evening were cancelled after the stage collapsed. How is that a good thing you ask? Kevin Costner and his band Modern West were scheduled to perform next. Forget skydiving and promiscuous sex, concert-going has recently emerged as the most dangerous pastime. 1 person died and as many as 40 others were injured when a stage collapsed while country music singer Billy Currington was performing at the Big Valley Jamboree, one of Canada's biggest country music festivals. Currington himself received several lacerations on his face, and one of his band members was taken to the hospital after being pulled from the wreckage with a serious arm injury. Witness...
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