Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jennifer Aniston loves Justin Theroux’s ‘beautifully captured eyeballls’

justin theroux jennifer aniston Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux have been together - and engaged - for several years now. However, they've been plagued by reports that they can't stand each other, that Jen's a disaster to live with, that they barely see each other which is the reason they've managed to stay together, etc. Well, stuff all of youse (I'm getting into local slang, here), because they're IN LOOOOOOVE and Jen's here to prove it by talking about how much she loves his "eyeballs" because they're set well in his hea...

I don’t think Kim Kardashian knows what “lady lumps” are

Kim Kardashian mexico Unsurprisingly, Kim Kardashian continues to prove to us on a daily basis just how slow she is, mentally speaking. Yesterday, she took to Instagram to post more pictures of her ass as she vacationed in Mexico, and she captioned it with "#ourlovelyladylumps", which... last time I checked, is extremely incorrect. Shocker! Here's another shot, just because you haven't seen Kim Kardashian's ass enough times in your life already. As some commenters were pointing out on these photos, it's alm...

Lindsay Lohan’s sister Ali wants to be the next Dolly Parton

ali lohan dina lohan Please try not to throw up in your morning coffee, but Lindsay Lohan's "younger" sister, Ali Lohan, apparently wants to become a country singer now. She's done the modeling thing (and the 5,000 cosmetic surgeries that come with it, apparently?) and now she's ready to move on to music. From TMZ: We're told Ali -- who was last seen trying to launch a career as a NYC fashion model -- has been writing songs and working with a singing coach. We're told Ali and mom Dina, went to Nashville l...

Farrah Abraham wants Sandra Bullock to star in the film adaptation of her erotica book

farrah abraham Thankfully, no one was dumb enough to give Farrah Abraham's shitty porn bio erotica novel a film version, but she did recently say that she'd love Sandra Bullock to star in it if she ever did do it. LOL, dream big, girl! But listen, Farrah's not totally unrealistic - she'll settle for Jessica Alba if Sandy's too busy. From US Weekly: “I’m not going to do a movie with this, so many people are obsessed with that idea, I think I’ve done, myself, enough TV, and me, obviously I would never be in a v...

Scott Disick, noted alcoholic, hospitalized for alcohol poisoning

scott disick I mean, I don't even have words for this dickhead. Scott Disick, a well-known alcoholic whose love of the bottle has nearly cost him his relationship, his kids and even his life on several occasions, has been hospitalized AGAIN for alcohol poisoning after going wild at a Hamptons night club. He's apparently doing "fine" now, but here's what happened... From People: According to the site, on June 22, the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star, 31, spent the night drinking heavily at 1Oak nig...

Tim McGraw bitch slapped a woman for grabbing his crotch

tim mcgraw What's with celeb stans getting so wild? Just because you masturbated to a fold-out poster of Tim McGraw while listening to 'Truck Yeah' (yes, that's an actual song he sings) the night before his concert doesn't give you a right to grab his crotch when you actually see him in person. Some crazy from Atlanta did just that, however, during a show at Aaron's Amphitheatre on Sunday night, and she got a nice hard bitch slap across the face for her troubles. From TMZ: TMZ got video of Tim's conce...

Elaine Stritch passes away at 89

elaine stritch Elaine Stritch was an absolute comedy legend. Maybe you know her from her older Broadway work, but most likely you'll be more familiar with her as Jack Donaghy's mother Colleen on 30 Rock, which made her a household name, pretty much. Whatever the case, showbiz lost a great woman, as Elaine passed away on Thursday at her home in Michigan at the age of 89. From The New York Times: Elaine Stritch, the brassy, tart-tongued Broadway actress and singer who became a living emblem of show busine...

Is Taylor Swift our generation’s Michael Jackson?

MTV EMA's - VIP Glamour Area Taylor Swift is a much-celebrated musician. Despite her young age, she's written tons of songs, performed to sold-out crowds all over the world, made millions upon millions of dollars, etc. People love her, as well - she's grown up in the spotlight without becoming a hot ass mess (at least not in any obvious ways). Turns out, even people in the industry think she's the bee's knees. Take fun. lead guitarist Jack Antonoff (that's the yahoo in the red hat in the photo above), who's worked with Tay...

Zoe Saldana unleases some relationship wisdom on us all

zoe saldana Zoe Saldana got married to now-husband Marco Perego last December, and while she may be happy in her current relationship, it took a while for her to get to that point. Before that, she was in several shitty relationships and she's learned a lot of things she wants us all to know. From Marie Claire: On her relationship with husband Marco Perego: “I don’t do the ABCs. I do what my heart says, what my heart feels. So from the moment I met my husband, we were together. We knew.” ...

Anna Paquin has an interesting new look

anna paquin purple hair Anna Paquin is done with Sookie from True Blood, so now it's time to change up her look a bit and get down with the kids or whatever... which is, I suppose, why she decided to dye her hair bright purple. It does look pretty cute, actually - I would love to do something like that, but the time to lighten my hair enough to do it - not to mention the upkeep and the fact that I do have to go out in the real world and am a grown adult - really puts me off. What do you think? Stephen Moyer se...

Farrah Abraham doesn’t mind if her daughter does a sex tape

farrah abraham It's not really shocking in any way, shape or form that Farrah Abraham is possibly one of the worst mothers on planet earth. She's immature, self-involved, has no self-respect and is a money-hungry woman who will degrade herself and everyone around her for cash. That's no shade against sex workers, but I think we can all agree that Farrah has no dignity. That being said, I don't think anyone will be surprised to know that when asked how she'd feel about her 4-year-old daughter Sophia making her ...