I just hate reading. I will take an episode of The New Girl over Dostoevsky every time.
I'd meticulously unsubscribed myself from every newspaper, magazine, and e-thing, just so I could give Alec Baldwin's Twitter feed my undivided attention, because if I have to read, I'd prefer it in 140-character snippets. But three days ago, Alec Baldwin deactivated his Twitter account. Oh, no! Oh, no! What will I read now?
You might remember that Baldwin was recently booted from an airplane for playing a popular Scrabble knockoff, 'Words with Friends,' on his iPhone---I liveblogged the incident---and this singular event has soured him to the entire human experience's sum total. Did I mention he suspended his Twitter account? Alec! Play more 'Angry Birds' and you will love life again! I promise.
The real point is, my favorite Taiwanese news/animation studio has created a video detailing everything I just typed. Hooray! This means less reading for me! And you! Hooray! Hooray! />
I just hate reading. I will take an episode of The New Girl over Dostoevsky every time.
I'd meticulously unsubscribed myself from every newspaper, magazine, and e-thing, just so I could give Alec Baldwin's Twitter feed my undivided attention, because if I have to read, I'd prefer it in 140-character snippets. But three days ago, Alec Baldwin deactivated his Twitter account. Oh, no! Oh, no! What will I read now?
You might remember that Baldwin was recently booted from an airplane for playin...
Er. Well, hmm. I can almost buy that Jennifer Aniston is the sexiest lady of all time. I mean, it's pretty easy to forget about her turns in Office Space and The Good Girl, never mind ol' fresh-faced Rachel on "Friends." Plus, Jen has great hair---maybe the best hair.
Anyway. Aniston was crowned the Sexiest Woman of All Time by Men's Health, with Brit-Brit, Madonna, and Marilyn (not Lindsay) also ranking in the top five. And it was according to a poll! Democracy at work, kids.
And who d...
"[The key to marriage is] lots of great sex, and high heels and lingerie---not me wearing it! Not on me!" He clarifies: "That's just how you gotta make up. 'Cause, you know, everyone is going to fight and argue and break TVs and dishes and stuff. But somebody's got to put on some lingerie once in a while."
---Robin Thicke gives one of a bevy of great soundbytes in this awesome radio interview. Thicke is out doing promotional rounds for his fifth album, Love After War.
Anytime I am feeling...
I have titled my post "Today's Courtney Stodden" because every night she goes to bed in stilettos and bunny ears and somehow wakes up a new woman. Today's Courtney Stodden is nothing like Yesterday's Courtney Stodden.
What I am saying is, Today's Courtney is wearing a leopard-print synthetic-fur coat and not much else. Do you know what is in a synthetic-fur coat? Acrylic. Coal. Petroleum. Limestone. It's true. Look it up.
Wait, what?
I don't know. I'm sorry. I always want to be insightful when I blog, but try as I might, it is very nearly impossible to preface these photos of Courtney Stodden in a red bikini, just hoochying it up on some random sidewalk. (To be fair, the teen was taping a thingie for Funny or Die, but at this point I'm like "Courtney Stodden wore a bikini out in broad daylight? And in public? And in a residential neighborhood? And she stole my ex-boyfriend's mom's faux-fur coat? Zzz.")
Here's some actual celeb gossip: earlier this week, Courtney Stodden and husband/senior citizen Doug Hutchison turned down a starring role on a reality TV show because---oh, never mind.
(Images via Yeeeah! except seriously don't bother because every photograph looks exactly the same.)
/>I have titled my post "Today's Courtney Stodden" because every night she goes to bed in stilettos and bunny ears and somehow wakes up a new woman. Today's Courtney Stodden is nothing like Yesterday's Courtney Stodden.
What I am saying is, Today's Courtney is wearing a leopard-print synthetic-fur coat and not much else. Do you know what is in a synthetic-fur coat? Acrylic. Coal. Petroleum. Limestone. It's true. Look it up.
Wait, what?
I don't know. I'm sorry. I always want to be insightful...
This is brilliant. This is how viral marketing is done, you guys.
I know this video just looks like some crappy VHS-transfer of an old episode of "Hard Copy," but it isn't. (Hey, remember "Hard Copy"? No? Maybe you were more of an "A Current Affair" type of viewer. It's cool, mom.)
Anyhoo, WHAT THIS IS is a viral promotion for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which stars Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara. Mystery is afoot! Something is rotten in the state of Denmark! And by "Denmark" I mean Sweden, and by "state" I mean "an island somewhere off the coast of Sweden."
In the video, some dude with a beard is discussing Harriet Vanger's (fictional) disappearance. "It was the ultimate locked-room mystery," he concludes, which is straight out of chapter 12 of Stieg Larsson's novel. Which, uh, I haven't read. So I bet I'm missing tons of little references and allusions in the video. But according to Wikipedia, Larsson's book takes aim at "incompetent investigative journalism," so you can see why they picked "Hard Copy."
I doubt the video had anything to do with Tattoo director David Fincher, but it nonetheless contains a quick nod to Fight Club: there is a single frame that has been inserted, and it briefly flashes onscreen. That single frame is NSFW. Which is to say, you can probably watch the whole video safely at work, but you wouldn't want to pause on that single frame at work, if you catch my drift. (Oh, I'll just tell you. It's a penis.) />
This is brilliant. This is how viral marketing is done, you guys.
I know this video just looks like some crappy VHS-transfer of an old episode of "Hard Copy," but it isn't. (Hey, remember "Hard Copy"? No? Maybe you were more of an "A Current Affair" type of viewer. It's cool, mom.)
Anyhoo, WHAT THIS IS is a viral promotion for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which stars Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara. Mystery is afoot! Something is rotten in the state of Denmark! And by "Denmark" I mean ...
I have never actually watched all of David Lynch's Eraserhead---you know, because it's in black-and-white, and I only watch movies in color---but I have heard that it is seminal. Seminal. Apparently it's about a man with some hair.
Brad Pitt mines his inner Eraserhead on the cover of next week's New York Times Magazine. Pitt quipped that he was channeling "Peter Lorre---with a dose of Kramer." Apt! And whoever aquanetted Brad's hair should be commended, because the height on that blond Be...
How did I not know that Kelly Rowland is a judge on the British version of The X Factor? This information totally slipped under my radar. I'm sorry, you guys. I'm a failure. (I did know about her one-woman Destiny's Child medley, though! She performed it last week. She was not wearing pants.)
Anyway, the Daily Mail has finally published its best-researched, most hard-hitting pictorial to date: on television, from week to week, Kelly Rowland's "mole" has been, uh, relocating itself. It also ...
I wonder who Kristen Wiig is dating these days, you have absolutely never asked yourself.
But the answer to this non-question sure is titillating! Why, the SNL ham was spotted with none other than Fabrizio Moretti at a Black Keys afterparty two nights ago. I'm sorry, did I say "spotted with" Moretti? I meant "on." She was spotted on Fabrizio Moretti.
According to the New York Post's source, "They were literally on top of each other." On top of each other! Literally! My word! Gracious! (A...
Oh, good grief.
I admit I haven't seen the newest Muppets movie, so I can't say for sure whether I think the Muppets themselves are a bunch of anti-capitalist pinko Commies. But apparently, the movie's central villain---an oil baron---is someone called "Tex Richman." Which is a great name for a villainous oil baron! That's cute! C'mon!
And anyway, there's a longstanding legacy of the villain being some devious business magnate. Maybe the villain is obsessed with taking over a building; maybe he's trying to forge his name onto a document so he can secure the town's water rights. That's just good, clean melodrama! There is nothing more American than melodrama, after all.
But Dan Gainor of watchdog group Media Research Center has a different take:
This is what they're teaching our kids. You wonder why we've got a bunch of Occupy Wall Street people walking around all around the country---they've been indoctrinated, literally, for years by this kind of stuff. Whether it was Captain Planet or Nickelodeon's Big Green Help, or The Day After Tomorrow, the Al Gore-influenced movie, all of that is what they're teaching, is that corporations is bad, the oil industry is bad, and ultimately what they're telling kids is what they told you in the movie The Matrix: that mankind is a virus on poor old mother Earth.
Now, I realize the issue of climate change is kind of a touchy subject at Thanksgiving dinner, but I'm startled anyway. Is Mr. Gainor, uh, pro-pollution? Why is he so upset by Big Green Help? "Oooh, I just hate recycling!"
Let's get real, FOX Business: was it a slow news cycle? (Or do these talking heads actually have a point? String me up in the comments!) />
Oh, good grief.
I admit I haven't seen the newest Muppets movie, so I can't say for sure whether I think the Muppets themselves are a bunch of anti-capitalist pinko Commies. But apparently, the movie's central villain---an oil baron---is someone called "Tex Richman." Which is a great name for a villainous oil baron! That's cute! C'mon!
And anyway, there's a longstanding legacy of the villain being some devious business magnate. Maybe the villain is obsessed with taking over a building; mayb...
You guys! This is happening on Twitter right now.
Alec Baldwin just tweeted:
Flight attendant on American reamed me out 4 playing WORDS W FRIENDS while we sat at the gate, not moving. #nowonderamericaairisbankrupt
Apart from the full-body shudder I felt at the words "reamed me out," ha! I love that Alec Baldwin is mad about this. (That last hashtag, by the way, alludes to American Airlines' bankruptcy.)
Anyway, the story doesn't stop there. Baldwin tweeted a few more times---that 30 Rock plays infl...
Here's a photo of Blake Lively. Can you find her in the crowd? Oh, I'll just tell you: she's the one in the gigantic coat and the Incognito Hat. Man! I never realized you could cover that much of your face with your own hair. I've gotta learn that trick.
According to Us, Ryan Reynolds walked Blake to the van that took her to the Boston train station. And there she is now, hoping to God nobody recognizes her. How chivalrous, Ryan Reynolds!
Gee, I wonder why these two are being so surrept...
1) This is what her singing voice actually sounds like.
2) As a preteen, she was kind of an ugly duckling.
3) Kesha Sebert scored a 1500 (out of 1600, you young kids) on her SATs, and a 140 on an IQ test---which technically makes her a genius.
4) She elected to get a GED and pursue a music career rather than attend college.
5) As of November 2010, she still lived in her mother's basement.
6) Her first TV appearance was on The Simple Life. In that episode, Kesha, Paris Hilton, and Nicole Richie...