Friends: let us pause for a moment of silence, collectively click "play" on this video, and watch a stirring tribute to the television shows that died this year. Then, while you are fumbling for your handkerchiefs, I will loose the doves.
Uh. Tell you the truth, I thought Friday Night Lights ended its run like two years ago. Oh, sure, I remember the outpouring of grief when it ended and everything. It's just that I… misremember… it happening… in 2009ish. Oops.
I did kind of like Human Target. And when any iteration of Law & Order gets yanked, all humankind suffers the loss. Oof.
And then there's Outsourced---it was canceled? Oh, thank God. I thought that show was pretty offensive, but mostly I was offended because it was terrible.
And some shows---like HBO's Bored to Death, which I looo-ooooved---aren't memorialized in this video at all! Hmph.
What other shows are missing from this video? What shows were unceremoniously murdered before their time? And most importantly, WHICH SHOWS WEREN'T CANCELED SOON ENOUGH? Meet me downstairs in the comments, where we will all eulogize together.
P.S. Stop the video short if you don't want to see how Big Love ends. Seriously. />
Friends: let us pause for a moment of silence, collectively click "play" on this video, and watch a stirring tribute to the television shows that died this year. Then, while you are fumbling for your handkerchiefs, I will loose the doves.
Uh. Tell you the truth, I thought Friday Night Lights ended its run like two years ago. Oh, sure, I remember the outpouring of grief when it ended and everything. It's just that I… misremember… it happening… in 2009ish. Oops.
I did kind of like Hu...
I shouldn't say this---I shouldn't!---but in my everyday life, I make constant, consistent jokes at Zooey Deschanel's expense.
I don't know! Recently I tripped over a toy piano and crashed into a tower of yet-unfiled CDs, and I joked I was the "Zooey of Dick Van Dykes."
Maybe I joke about her because I was a huge Matt Ward fan back in college and now I feel wistful about She and Him. Maybe it's because I am a natural blonde with dark-dyed hair who dreams of playing the uke and having great bangs. Maybe it's because I really do play a lap zither and not-on-purpose talk out the corner of my mouth. Maybe it's because I'm sort of infantilized (not in the adult-diaper way, jerks), you know, just generally and unattractively helpless when it comes to changing lightbulbs on high ceilings. This sort of thing is not totally adorable unless you are a famous actress and singer, unfortunately.
I also know that if I ever say to my friend Robyn "You're like a Zooey!" she'll start yelling in public angrily. Especially if I specify, "Your singing sounds a little like the Zooey cotton commercial." Oooh, poor Robyn. She hates when I say things like that, but for real, Robyn has great dyed-dark bangs.
Yeah, OK, I know we love Zooey around here, but it's still a lot of fun to make up Zooey Zingers, particularly when I am sitting anywhere near my friend Robyn. But why am I so mean? Why, when Zooey played one of my favorite characters in one of my favorite movies?
Anyway, this time I can't crack wise about Zooey at all. It's very frustrating. Here she is with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and they make beautiful music together. Seriously.
I mean, I want to be cruelly dismissive and apathetic; I really do want to act like quirky, winning charm has zero effect on my stone heart. It's all lies. You'll love this. />
I shouldn't say this---I shouldn't!---but in my everyday life, I make constant, consistent jokes at Zooey Deschanel's expense.
I don't know! Recently I tripped over a toy piano and crashed into a tower of yet-unfiled CDs, and I joked I was the "Zooey of Dick Van Dykes."
Maybe I joke about her because I was a huge Matt Ward fan back in college and now I feel wistful about She and Him. Maybe it's because I am a natural blonde with dark-dyed hair who dreams of playing the uke and having g...
You know what I like about Steven Tyler? You hardly hear about Steven Tyler. The man has even tried to be up-front about the skeletons in his closet---he published a sex/drugs/rock and roll tell-all this summer---but there's just something about Steven Tyler that makes you go "Oh, huh, OK." Like, there is almost nothing Steven Tyler could say or do that would make you clutch your pearls or call for smelling salts or otherwise feel titillated in the slightest.
Anyway. Steven Tyler is almos...
The whole reason I ended it was out of respect and love for the man," she told the [UK Sun]. "It felt like I was living in a coffin. It was going to be a coffin for both of us and I saw him crushed."
---Sinéad O'Connor elaborates on why she filed for divorce from momentary-husband Barry Herridge.
Sinéad. I realize you're in damage-control mode. You're trying to get Barry off the hook, to let him come out of this nightmare looking blameless. That's fine; that's admirable, even. But "talking endlessly about ...
You guys? Don't tell Emma Stone, but the New York Post is pretty sure Jim Carrey is dating a lady. Jim has probably been dating her for a couple months, in fact.
The lady's name is Anastasia Vitkina, she's very pretty and blonde, and her first-ever tweet condemned an article about Jim Carrey. (So did her last-ever tweet, incidentally. Uh. She's only tweeted twice ever.)
A little digging uncovers that Miss Vitkina attended the renowned Parsons School of Design. I don't know if you know this, but Parsons is so prestigious, someone named an Ikea t...
Oh! Good morning!
Here is Bryan Cranston---he's the versatile actor from Malcolm in the Middle, Breaking Bad, and Seinfeld---shilling for Coffee-Mate. Mmm! Non-dairy creamer! It's the only thing in this world that is slightly worse than powdered milk, am I right? (Still, Cranston is so charming and convincing, I suddenly can't imagine spooning any other type of powdered creamer into my reheated cola.)
Many thanks to Seriously? OMG! WTF? for starting my day off right. />
Oh! Good morning!
Here is Bryan Cranston---he's the versatile actor from Malcolm in the Middle, Breaking Bad, and Seinfeld---shilling for Coffee-Mate. Mmm! Non-dairy creamer! It's the only thing in this world that is slightly worse than powdered milk, am I right? (Still, Cranston is so charming and convincing, I suddenly can't imagine spooning any other type of powdered creamer into my reheated cola.)
Many thanks to Seriously? OMG! WTF? for starting my day off right....
I don't get it! I just don't understand what happened!
On December 9 Sinéad O'Connor was happily blogging about oral sex with her brand-new husband. Two days later, she reversed course, blogging that her husband needs his privacy, as he is "a therapist working with very young adolescents" who "must maintain a low profile."
Now, O'Connor writes, she wants to break the news herself, before anybody else can report it: she's getting a divorce. I can't imagine where things went wrong.
Most o...
"There will never be a reunion ... as I will never do anything with an a---hole like Will Smith. He is still an egomaniac and has not grown up. This constant reunion thing will never ever happen in my lifetime unless there is an apology, which, he doesn't know the word."
---Janet Hubert, AKA Aunt Vivian #1, does not care for Will Smith, according to TMZ.
Last week, Emily caught you up on the goings-on of the cast of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and I gotta tell you, my first, honest thought w...
"I had done that with Effie [in Dreamgirls]… and as much as I was moved by this film, I wanted to try a role that had nothing whatsoever to do with my weight."
---In her upcoming weight-loss memoir, Jennifer Hudson reveals she turned down the lead role in Precious.
Man, I so get this. By the time Precious was in pre-production, Hudson had already lost a mighty eff-ton of weight. I cannot even imagine being asked to pile all that weight right back on. It's like, you can keep your "art," mister! I'll be keepi...
Former Scrubs costars (and total brosephs) Zach Braff and Donald Faison uploaded this stirring rendition of "Baby, It's Cold Outside" to their brand-new joint YouTube account yesterday. I think I knew Faison had some pipes, but Braff holds his own, sorta. And nope, the irony is not lost on me: L.A. isn't chilly in the slightest. Not this week, anyway.
This is only the first video posted to the "zachndonald" YouTube account, and I am delighted. Aren't these lads darling? Ugh, they're so charming together; what a pair. Here's to many more homoerotic jazz standards! />
Former Scrubs costars (and total brosephs) Zach Braff and Donald Faison uploaded this stirring rendition of "Baby, It's Cold Outside" to their brand-new joint YouTube account yesterday. I think I knew Faison had some pipes, but Braff holds his own, sorta. And nope, the irony is not lost on me: L.A. isn't chilly in the slightest. Not this week, anyway.
This is only the first video posted to the "zachndonald" YouTube account, and I am delighted. Aren't these lads darling? Ugh, they're so charming...
Listen, blondie. We can still see you.
Try as you might to hide yourself behind your new boyfriend Ryan Phillippe, we can still see you.
I am sure that, ordinarily, you are great at hide-and-seek. You can hide behind things like trees and light poles and mailboxes and stop signs. You can probably fold yourself to fit into small compartments. You can shimmy into the narrowest crawlspaces. I have no doubt.
But if you really don't want to look like you're the girl currently dating Ryan Phil...