Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Tiny Girl, Big Ring

57078002jennifer_lopez330200963523pm Jennifer Lopez was looking especially youthful, small and Harajuku-tastic at a promotional appearance for Samantha Thavasa at her Shibuya store on Monday. She also made damn sure to show off that honkin' ring of hers. That thing looks like it weighs more than her entire head. Wendie and I are of differing opinions on the JLo marriage. I think it's for real, and the break-up rumors are bunk. Wendie thinks they're approximately 20 seconds away from divorce. Thoughts? [gallery]...

Jade Goody’s Sons Won’t Be at Her Funeral

janegoody12 After the tragic and too-soon death of Jade Goody this week, thousands of people are expected to be at her funeral on Saturday. Her two young sons, however, won't be there. Their father, British TV host Jeff Brazier, is taking them to Australia and away from the media focus. Good thing or bad thing? I say good thing. These boys have been through enough. They need to process their mother's passing as an actual event, and not as a media fiasco. No need to have them in the center of this. ...

Audio Recording of Brit Protesting Conservatorship Is Real?

I still have my doubts about this recording, frankly, because the person speaking does sound a lot like Britney, but she speaks more intelligently and articulately than I've ever heard Britney sound in an interview. Not that that's saying much, but still. Anyway, the dude who runs BreatheHeavy.com, a Britney fan site with traditionally strong ties to Brit's camp, says it's his recording and it's real. He's also been battling Jamie Spears, who wants to shut down his site, for awhile now. Why is Jamie Spears targeting this dude? His site gets less traffic than a lot of the bloggers out there who are talking shit about Britney. He doesn't use Brit's name in his URL, and he's vocal about the fact that it's an unofficial fan site. He must have touched a nerve. It's funny -- he's started to refer to her as "Brittany" to avoid legal complications. Way to go, dude. Fight that shit. Also, you'll recall that the recording was run on JFX Online, which is the pap agency that used to employ Adnan Ghalib. Which is inneresting, to say the least. Is there way more drama in the Spears camp than meets the eye right now? GOD I HOPE NOT. I have tickets to see that bitch on April 9. She sure as hell better not have a breakdown before then. /> I still have my doubts about this recording, frankly, because the person speaking does sound a lot like Britney, but she speaks more intelligently and articulately than I've ever heard Britney sound in an interview. Not that that's saying much, but still. Anyway, the dude who runs BreatheHeavy.com, a Britney fan site with traditionally strong ties to Brit's camp, says it's his recording and it's real. He's also been battling Jamie Spears, who wants to shut down his site, for awhile now. Why i...

Twitter Looks for “Celebrity Concierge”

love_twett Someone at Twitter was apparently surprised by the attention they got this morning for a job posting for a "celebrity concierge," because they've since pulled it down. But according to TechCrunch, the 140-character blogging service is on the hunt for someone to cater to its celebrity clientele, who've helped Twitter to get a ton of publicity lately. (Although they still haven't figured a way to monetize any of this, or keep their servers up more than 90% of the time.) Now Twitter is hiring...

Sacha Baron Cohen’s Anal Sex Warrants NC-17 Rating

Sacha Baron Cohen Bruno NC-17 Pictures Photos It looks like Sacha Baron Cohen's lastest film, Bruno, may be undergoing some changes soon. The film's initial screening by the MPAA culminated in an NC-17 rating for the edgy film. You can't release a film with an NC-17 rating. No one will screen it and no one will watch it. Here's a look at what pissed off the censors: Among the scenes reportedly causing the most issues: one in which flamboyant fashionista Brüno is seen engaging in what appears to be anal sex with another man, and one i...

SHOCKER: Rihanna’s Not Cooperating

Rihanna takes the sunglasses off How is this still a story? I thought we'd established long that this chick wasn't helping out in the investigation against the dude who beat her up. But now we're hearing it again, because her humanity/weakness in the face of this horror never stops being compelling: Sources say Rihanna "wants the whole thing" to go away and isn’t helping the district attorney prepare his case against Brown for allegedly beating her to a pulp in the early hours of February 8th, the day the of the Grammy...

Is It Possible That All My Dreams Have Been Realized?

57088389madonna330200950603pm Madonna and her family paid a visit to the Namitete Secondary School in Malawi on Monday to lend support to her Raising Malawi Foundation. She's reportedly in Africa to finalize the adoption of yet another kiddo, this time a four-year-old girl. This is all very interesting stuff, and I'm glad Madge is out there being useful and helping people, but I'll tell you what really makes my heart soar: It appears as though Lourdes has waxed her eyebrows. I can't be sure -- it's a strange view and I ...

Tim Allen Welcomes New Baby!

tim_allen_jane Congrats to Tim Allen, whose wife Jane welcomed their daughter Elizabeth on Saturday in Los Angeles. Mother and child are healthy physically, but obviously there's something wrong in the head with this mother if she's gonna name a Hollywood baby "Elizabeth." What are we going to call her for short. "Liz"???? What the hell kind of name is that? I can't do anything with that name. Useless, I tell you. I'd expect someone who thought it would be a good idea to do a third Santa Clause film could think a ...

Really, Though, Who Isn’t Sick of Jennifer Love Hewitt?

jamie_kennedy_hewitt Hi all. I have a serious handicap today, because my fake nails have grown out to the point where they really need to be shaved down and it's very difficult to type. I am way too absent-minded to actually go into the salon and have them shaved down, so, instead, I'm just writing less. This is probably a poor decision in light of the fact that my entire job is to write. But I digress. If you hadn't heard by now, Jennifer "Can't Find Love" Hewitt is working her evil magic on "funnyman" Jami...

Mini Me Sex-Tape Partner Getting Her Own Show???

Ranae Shrider Sexy Pictures Photos My beautiful and talented friend, Ranae Shrider (aka the girl from the Mini-Me sex tape) (aka the girl who sent me my favorite picture in the whole world), is rumored to be getting her own reality TV show. I don't know what the hell it could possibly be about, but I looooove this. Seriously, people, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned by a midget. You can quote me on that. Look, you spend a year fucking a midget and he still won't take you to his damn film premieres? Don't get mad: L...

If You Can Believe It, Michael Sarver’s Not Going Back to the Oil Rig

michael-sarver-01-2009-02-17 I have to admit I was a little shocked that Michael Sarver went home on Idol last night. I was never a gigantic fan of his, but I guess I assumed he'd get enough of the "hot guy" vote to get him into the top 6 or 7. I think probably he wasn't non-threatening enough. That award goes to Kris Boring. (No seriously I don't even know his last name, that's how boring I find him.) But whatever, Mikey's going home, and you better believe he's gonna be laying some pipe, just not on his oil rig. "...