I'll have you know that Paris Hilton is my friend on mySpace. The real Paris Hilton. I know this because several months ago I received a bulletin from her pointing me to a secret page with select tracks from her forthcoming album. They were awful. Embarrassing. Perfect. I sent the link along to some close friends, all of whom essentially called bullshit. "This can't be for real," they said. "It can't actually be this bad."Paris's eponymous album, released this week, contained all of those tracks ...
Clips day continues. You know it's a slow news day when you've tracked down a clip of Christina Aguilera on Letterman to use on your blog. But after the Federlesion horror you endured in my last post, Ms. Xtina rocking out should be a welcome treat. I love this girl and I love this song. The "news" I found on the floor of the gas station bathroom this afternoon: Apparently it's clips day on The Beet. Up now, Kevin Federline delivers a particularly uninspiring rendition of his "song" on the Teen Choice Awards. The good news here is that it turns out his wife can introduce a mediocre performer and chew gum at the same time. She just keeps getting smarter. A wasted Kelly Clarkson gets pulled up on stage at some metal show (is this Yellowcard? Does anyone care?). It's a 10-minute clip and it's worth every. Single. Minute. I voted for this girl like 100 times a night, and I'm not ashamed to admit that today.
When is Britney due again? This is so frustrating. Items being circulated as news today:
When is Britney due again? This is so frustrating. Items being circulated as news today:Paris Hilton released the album you and your best friend recorded on an 8-track when you were ten years old. Honestly, I had pretty much made up my mind that I was not going to listen to this album; I was going to hold out for weeks, at least, and possibly months; my resolve was strong and my motives were pure; and around 3:15 pm a coworker dropped it on my desk, and it was all over for me. I'll write a more ...
/>Clips day continues. You know it's a slow news day when you've tracked down a clip of Christina Aguilera on Letterman to use on your blog. But after the Federlesion horror you endured in my last post, Ms. Xtina rocking out should be a welcome treat. I love this girl and I love this song. The "news" I found on the floor of the gas station bathroom this afternoon:Kate Moss, the inarguable Queen of Good Ideas, took it upon herself to plan a wedding to the King of Better Ideas, Pete Doherty. He didn...
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The NY Sun ran an interesting article today regarding Jesus and everyone's favorite retailer of wear-once-in-Vegas slutwear, Forever 21. It seems the owners are devout Catholics who have been printing the words "John 3:16" at the bottom of the company's trademark yellow bags. A spokeswoman for the LA-based company calls the inscription a "demonstration of the owners' faith." Normally I would be indignant about something like this, but where I can buy a 3-inch plaid schoolgirl skirt and same-height heels for under $20, surely God is at work. />The NY Sun ran an interesting article today regarding Jesus and everyone's favorite retailer of wear-once-in-Vegas slutwear, Forever 21. It seems the owners are devout Catholics who have been printing the words "John 3:16" at the bottom of the company's trademark yellow bags. A spokeswoman for the LA-based company calls the inscription a "demonstration of the owners' faith." Normally I would be indignant about something like this, but where I can buy a 3-inch plaid schoolgirl skirt and same-height ...
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Remember that day back in ninth grade when all the guys came over to your garage to kick-start that jam band that was gonna be huge at Battle of the Bands this year, and you were very impressively demonstrating the three power chords your big sister's boyfriend taught you last week when your mom walked in with a plate of her sugar cookies with the cutesy icing smiley faces and exotic icing hairdos and announced that she'd made your very favorite! To share with everyone! Remember how humiliating that was?Ok...
After his little traffic mishap on July 20, the LA County District attorney will charge Haley Joel Osment with a DUI. I'm sure the young Mr. Osment knows how to get through this; after all, he spent most of last month being charged by the media with driving a 1995 Saturn. Outted Jew-hater Mel Gibson has been sentenced for his DUI arrest earlier this month. He got 3 years probation and 5 AA meetings a week for the next 4 1/2 months, with 3 meetings a week for the rest of the year after that. He a...
...and TMZ has it on tape. Actually, the Jackass star invited the paparazzi up to his apartment, where he was getting stinking drunk with his grossly anorexic and probably-not-gonna-make-it-as-an-actress-if-her-utter-inability-to-be-natural-on-camera-is-any-indication girlfriend. He then tells the camera man that he and Nicole Richie's relationship was entirely a PR stunt, blasts Brandon Davis for being an overall fuckwit (props for that), calls Paris Hilton a "self-made millionaire," and makes the (actually pretty dead-on) point that Lindsay Lohan and Eminem have similarl...
The fabulous Zooey Deschanel has won sought-after role of Janis Joplin, in The Gospel of Janis, which starts filming in November. If you've seen Failure to Launch, you understand what a glorious thing this is. If you have not seen Failure to Launch, rent it (and fast-forward through the parts that don't have Zooey Deschanel in them). Deschanel won the role over a group that included Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and ScoJo."Punk" singer Pink was the first choice of director Penelope Spheeris for the...
I'd like to begin by issuing an apology to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. In a post last month, I was unnecessarily harsh to the couple, ranting and raving about how insane, fame-whorish, and bad-parenty it was for them to allow a wax likeness of their two-month-old child to be photographed for money.Compared to Britney Spears, Pitt & Jolie are the Cleavers. (Is there actually anyone alive today who ever watched Leave it to Beaver? Why do we still say things like that? I have no idea who the Cl...