Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Real Madrid is Totally Butthurt

I'm not going to claim to know anything about soccer (there's a net and a ball and you always have to kick it except for the times when you throw it), but it seems a little fucked up that the Real* Madrid coach is benching David Beckham for the remainder of the season since news broke that he's going to be moving to L.A. to play for the Galaxy. Says the coach, Fabio Capello, "He is not going to play any more. He will practice, but he is not going to play." He continues on, "The player's decis...

Paula Abdul Needs to Go to Bed

Remember that one time when Paula Abdul gave that interview while she was wasted out of her mind? No, silly, not that time. The other one. From last week. Well, Paula's rep, Jeff Ballard, had something to say about that little incident. Says Ballard:She was exhausted. This was at the end of three days of press (interviews and appearances), and she has had cameras following her around for a reality TV show too. [Ed: That's this one.] She was sitting in a room with just a camera and a mic on, and the controllers dropped the sound...

Late-Night Links

After hubby Becks signed with the L.A. Galaxy last week, Victoria Beckham arrives in Los Angeles to do whatever it is that Victoria Beckham does. [DListed]

Well, the sooner Denise Richards marries Richie Sambora, the sooner she can leave him for her best friend's husband. No, I'm kidding, that would never happen. Denise Richards doesn't have friends. [A Socialite's Life]

It's about time we started rumors that Jessica Alba's engaged. [The Blemish]

Britney Spears takes Sean Preston to the park, pretends to interact with him. I'm not sure if she's more neglectful toward her child or her hair extensions. It's a tough call lately. [Celebrity Smack]

Lauren Graham (aka Lorelei Gilmore) is reportedly a diva on the set. [Celeb Warship]

Is it possible all Saturday Night Live really needed was YouTube? Following the smash Internet success of "Dick in a Box," the ailing SNL is back in the blogosphere with Jack Gyllenhaal's brilliant rendition of Dreamgirls' "You're Gonna Love Me." [popbytes]

Lindsay Lohan looks stunning in her new Miu Miu ads. Also: she doesn't look anything at all like Lindsay Lohan. [Dirty Laundry]

Agent Provocateur releases the third film in their series, "Kate Moss in Underwear Saying Nonsensical Yet Remarkably Underwear-Selling Things." [Agent Bedhead]

Ah, the changing of the celebrity gossip guard. Molly Goodson is movin' on up to PopSugar, but be sure to swing by Mollygood to heckle the new guy. [Mollygood, PopSugar]

/>After hubby Becks signed with the L.A. Galaxy last week, Victoria Beckham arrives in Los Angeles to do whatever it is that Victoria Beckham does. [DListed]Well, the sooner Denise Richards marries Richie Sambora, the sooner she can leave him for her best friend's husband. No, I'm kidding, that would never happen. Denise Richards doesn't have friends. [A Socialite's Life]It's about time we started rumors that Jessica Alba's engaged. [The Blemish]Britney Spears takes Sean Preston to the park, pretends to interact with him. I'm not sure if she's more...

Hooray Vlogging!

The total hottie over at I'm Bringing Blogging Back (man, I love me a Boston boy) has been zooming into the vlogging age with weekly celebrity gossip vlogs. Here's the first one from 2007. Check it out and stay tuned to his site for more to come. />The total hottie over at I'm Bringing Blogging Back (man, I love me a Boston boy) has been zooming into the vlogging age with weekly celebrity gossip vlogs. Here's the first one from 2007. Check it out and stay tuned to his site for more to come. ...

Jennifer Didn’t Like Being in the Spotlight Any More Than You Liked Having Her There

I remember fondly a different era in celebrity gossip: those carefree days when nip-slips and crotch shots were nearly unheard of, when Lindsay Lohan was just that little girl from The Parent Trap and Paris Hilton was a hotel in France. When the only celebrity sex tape belonged to Pamela Anderson, and we were surprised when reality TV stars moved to L.A. and got agents. I recall those long-ago days when we ran a piece on Jennifer Lopez every. Single. Day.So does Jennifer, and not as fondly as you'd...

Late-Night Links

Howard Stern gets David Arquette to dish on the Brad/Jen split. [INO]

Kate Moss may be a hopeless cocaine addict, but she's an addict who can sell some clothes. Burberry knows this. [Celeb Warship]

Trust me, if the Kim Kardashian sex tape exists, no one wants it to hit the Internet more than Kim Kardashian. [Bossip]

Father of the Year Kevin Federline announces that the forfeit of his relationship with Sean and Jayden is worth $25M per kid. [The Blemish]

A pregnant Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott hit the press junkets. [Teddy and Moo]

Justin Timberlake takes his face out of Scarlett's breasts for long enough to issue a formal break-up statement with Cameron Diaz. [Faded Youth]

Spicy Pants from Celebrity Smack is going to be on the radio! Be sure to tune in and listen. [Celebrity Smack]

MK from popbytes has 30 Seconds to Blog for an AOL webcast and he does a fantastic job. [popbytes]

/>Howard Stern gets David Arquette to dish on the Brad/Jen split. [INO]Kate Moss may be a hopeless cocaine addict, but she's an addict who can sell some clothes. Burberry knows this. [Celeb Warship]Trust me, if the Kim Kardashian sex tape exists, no one wants it to hit the Internet more than Kim Kardashian. [Bossip]Father of the Year Kevin Federline announces that the forfeit of his relationship with Sean and Jayden is worth $25M per kid. [The Blemish]A pregnant Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott hit t...

OMFG Law and Order Aired an Episode About the Death of Anna Nicole’s Son Before the Bahamas Authorities Have Decided Whether to Have an Inquest

This is pretty unbelievable. Did anyone catch L&O last week? (I think it was last week.) The episode was all about a gold-digging woman whose recovering drug-addict son dies in her hospital room. Her "publicist" was with her at the time. It veers off from there, as L&O is wont to do, and it turns out the kid had, like, a bone graft from some dead chick who'd had ovarian cancer because some doctor hadn't properly screened the material and was obtaining it illegally. Whatevs. It is sad that ...

Lindsay’s New Man is Ashlee’s Ex

It's about time Lindsay Lohan took up with a new man. I'm getting tired of running stories about her drug problem. Her flavor of the month is Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz, the rocker who got into the most inexplicable boxing match with a concertgoer this weekend. He is also -- perhaps not coincidentally -- the ex-boyfriend of Ashlee Simpson, whom Lindsay accused of dating her own ex, Wilmer Valderrama, a while back (hence Ashlee's song "Boyfriend"). Fun fact about Pete Wentz: his penis is on the Internet. His sidekick got raided, and the naked pics he'd taken...

An Open Letter to Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump

Hi Rosie and Donald, I just wanted to write to thank you for the feud you've been having this month. Each morning, I wake up, still a little groggy from the codeine and tequila, punch off my alarm clock, and go to brush my teeth. I stare at my reflection and wonder what there really is to be awake for. My hum-drum job? My boring friends? Dolphins? It seems a bleak existence. Then, it hits me: maybe there's a new development in the Rosie/Donald feud! Did Rosie say something inflammatory on The View?? Did Donald pen a scathing rebuttal? Anything's possible with you two!! I run to my computer. Oh, joy! Rosie, without fail, you've said something ever so witty and perceptive about Donald on The View. And, Donald, you've always authored a brilliantly innovative note in response. Each day it is eye-opening. Each day it feels new. I smile to myself. This is all fascinating. I care so much. So thank you, both of you, for bringing a daily dose of Rosie/Donald feuding happiness into my life. Please keep it coming. The American public is counting on you. Yours always, The Beet />Hi Rosie and Donald, I just wanted to write to thank you for the feud you've been having this month. Each morning, I wake up, still a little groggy from the codeine and tequila, punch off my alarm clock, and go to brush my teeth. I stare at my reflection and wonder what there really is to be awake for. My hum-drum job? My boring friends? Dolphins? It seems a bleak existence. Then, it hits me: maybe there's a new development in the Rosie/Donald feud! Did Rosie say something inflammatory on The View?? Did...