Angelina Jolie may have barely escaped a supposed third-world plot to kidnap her and extort a ransom while working as a UN Goodwill Ambassador, but she'll never escape the consequent positive publicity. Poor dear. [The Blemish]
Students at Oprah's free South African boarding school are faced with the difficult choice between rape and junk food. I know, I know. It seems like a no-brainer. But think about Milk Duds, people. [IBBB]
Thank God Paris Hilton's nipples are visible in this outfit. It means you don't have to think too much about the skirt. [Yeeeah]
I am obsessed with this Claire Danes/Patrick Wilson GAP commercial, and now I want to buy Boyfriend Trousers. I am so easily brainwashed by a cute commercial. [popbytes]
Paris Hilton's record label plans to drop her. Paris Hilton had a record label? Oh, yeah, right. Back when she was a "singer." [Buzznet]
Sienna Miller is drunk, if you can believe that. [Gossip or Truth]
Awww ... Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is making her acting debut in Papa Pitt's latest film. This is great. She's not going to turn out like the Olsen twins at all. No way. [Cele|bitchy]
Sweet Jesus, Suri Cruise only has four fingers. Like, seriously, the kid is missing an entire finger. This is what happens, people, when you create a baby from the 20-year-old frozen sperm of L. Ron Hubbard. Four fingers. [POTP]
Antonella Barba's not planning to return to school right away, in order to "strike while the iron's hot," which means I can no longer effectively argue that everything Antonella Barba has ever decided to do is stupid. [Ninja Dude]
/>Angelina Jolie may have barely escaped a supposed third-world plot to kidnap her and extort a ransom while working as a UN Goodwill Ambassador, but she'll never escape the consequent positive publicity. Poor dear. [The Blemish]Students at Oprah's free South African boarding school are faced with the difficult choice between rape and junk food. I know, I know. It seems like a no-brainer. But think about Milk Duds, people. [IBBB]Thank God Paris Hilton's nipples are visible in this outfit. It means you...
Prepare yourself, America.
Tomorrow morning, at 9 a.m., Lindsay Lohan's father Michael will emerge from prison and once again become an active member of our society and, if possible, an even bigger thorn in our darling Lindsay's side. It's unfair, I suppose, to imply that he was not useful while in prison, as he was clearly hard at work creating tabloid prison art and, apparently, becoming an ordained minister, ready to “make amends for his past mistakes." Sounds like someone wander...
I am so jealous. Burger King has just given Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson free Burger King for the rest of her life! I truly believe I could live on BK's chicken sandwiches alone. I think it has all the food groups, right? And it's yummy. I need to win an Oscar.You see, when Jennifer responded to Simon Cowell's complaints that she didn't thank American Idol in her Oscar acceptance speech, Hudson responded by saying: "If I'd been any better at my job when I was at Burger King in my middle teens, ...
Or because she flashes her cooter or dresses in skimpy clothes or goes to nightclubs. I'm sorry, America, but that's just not how it works. The kids are fed, they are warm, they have clothes, they have adult supervision, and no one is beating them up, and I assure you that Los Angeles Children and Family Services are going to deal with all the families who don't meet one or more of those criteria before they show up to take Britney's kids away, and that's gonna take them at least the next ye...
I make no secret of my adoration for Laguna Beach's Kristin Cavallari. I think she's just the coolest, prettiest, bestest girl around, and I sincerely hope one day to be just like her. (Hey, have you noticed that by now almost everyone else from that cast has moved past the Laguna Beach's epithet? Even Jason Wahler is now, like, "Jason Wahler, from The Hills and jail," but Kristin's done nothing of value since. Bongo ads, maybe?)
Any-hoo, Kristin, age, what, 17?, has found a surefire way ...
I feel obliged to at least touch base with you guys on this topic, although I'd rather keep coverage of Britney in rehab to a minimum, to give her some time to get back on her feet. But here's the round-up at this point.
Word from insiders is that Britney is -- gasp! -- struggling in rehab! She doesn't want to be there and she doesn't think she belongs there! She doesn't like all those pesky rehab rules and she is angry with her family for pressuring her to go to rehab.
So it turns out that Britney Spears is like basically everyone else who goes to ...
...
Poor Paris Hilton. It must be really tough to have to find new best friends all the time when all your old ones end up in rehab. But Elisha Cuthbert? I mean, she's hot, but what does she really have to offer Paris? I don't think she even has a famous boyfriend to be stolen. Maybe it's just that Elisha's always willing to drive, since Paris needs to be, you know, not doing that at all anymore. Oh well. Elisha's a big girl, she can take care of herself. Just stay away from my Hayden, Paris!!
...
Wow, her dress is absolutely gorgeous! It looks a lot like the dress Penelope Cruz wore to the Oscars -- except, you know, white. And longer. But it has the same soft, waterfall feel to it. I love it.
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Is everyone else super-psyched for the new Simpsons movie? It doesn't come out until July, but I have high hopes for it. I've been watching The Simpsons for as long as I can remember -- I had a "Don't Have a Cow, Dude" t-shirt when I was like 8 years old that I thought was just the coolest thing on the planet, and a "Cowabunga" beach towel to go along with it. For comparison purposes, I also had like six slap bracelets and my other favorite shirt featured a pony with a bow in her hair, but st...