WHAT THE FUCK??? I don't know what sort of artistic statement David Chase was shooting for, but that was fucking bullshit. It's really cute that he gets to end the show on his own terms, but we're the ones who have been keeping that show on the air for the past eight-and-a-half years. We deserve something better than that bullshit ending. I'll admit that those last five minutes were some of the most oddly suspenseful in television history, and in such a mundane setting, too. It was brilliant....

If you're anything like me, you need a good laugh to dissolve the intense, intense anger you're feeling after watching the final episode of The Sopranos. I won't give away any specific plot details for those of you who recorded it, but suffice it to say: Fuck you, David Chase. Okay? Fuck. You. I think I understand what it feels like to have blue balls now. So, like, I'd like to offer an long-overdue apology to all those guys from back in high school. That was not cool of me. Anyway, check out this short film, Guess Jew. It's pretty funny. /> If you're anything like me, you need a good laugh to dissolve the intense, intense anger you're feeling after watching the final episode of The Sopranos. I won't give away any specific plot details for those of you who recorded it, but suffice it to say: Fuck you, David Chase. Okay? Fuck. You. I think I understand what it feels like to have blue balls now. So, like, I'd like to offer an long-overdue apology to all those guys from back in high school. That was not cool of me. Anyway, chec...

Alicia Silverstone has animals, so who needs a career? [Agent Bedhead]

Julia Roberts is very pregnant. [Gabby Babble]

Emily Scott is hot and in lingerie. [F&C]

No amount of cocaine can stop Kate Moss from being sexy. [CityRag]

Tori Amos weighs in on the G8 summit in her own special way. [popbytes]

Adam Brody's got a new girlfriend. You've never heard of her. [POTP]

Mandy Moore won't let you see her naked. [The Bosh]

Neither will Orlando Bloom. [Celebslam]

Jessica Alba is purty. [The Blemish]

Guyliner: hot or not? Vote, people! [Bree]

Carrie Underwood playing softball. It doesn't get a lot cuter than this. [Drunken Stepfather]

Someone should really do a "Top Ten Reasons Why The Guy Who'd Planned to Kidnap David Letterman's Son Was Able to Escape from Prison." I'd do it, but I don't actually care that much. [A Socialite's Life]

/>Alicia Silverstone has animals, so who needs a career? [Agent Bedhead] Julia Roberts is very pregnant. [Gabby Babble] Emily Scott is hot and in lingerie. [F&C] No amount of cocaine can stop Kate Moss from being sexy. [CityRag] Tori Amos weighs in on the G8 summit in her own special way. [popbytes] Adam Brody's got a new girlfriend. You've never heard of her. [POTP] Mandy Moore won't let you see her naked. [The Bosh] Neither will Orlando Bloom. [Celebslam] Jessica Alba is purty. [The Blemish] Guyliner: hot ...

According to The Daily News, one of the reasons Paris was getting so sick at Lynwood was that she refused to eat or drink for three days, because she didn't want to have to pee in her little cell. Apparently the toilet in the cell was visible to those outside, and she was terrified that someone would take a picture of her on the can. That's hot. There are special websites for things like that, you know.

The stainless steel lavatory in the hotel heiress' 12-foot-by-8-foot cell was in plain view of a large window in the door, which guards could look through 24 hours a day. "She was absolutely terrified that one of the guards or staffers would get her with the cell-phone cam and it would wind up on the Internet," a Hilton insider said yesterday. "She didn't eat or drink a single thing for three days because she didn't want to use the toilet. She was in real danger." Hilton also suffered from "extreme claustrophobia" and began hyperventilating and freaking out. "She cried the entire time, and that wasn't helping the dehydration," the source said. Jail medical officials became concerned that severe dehydration and a buildup of waste and toxins in Hilton's body could cause a complete collapse and "even kill her," the source said.

Also, TMZ reports that Paris was only allowed two visitors today -- her first visitors yet -- and she chose sister Nicky and Stavros Niarchos. Her mom and dad will visit on Tuesday. She is reportedly doing a lot better today, as she's been under heavy sedation and is on whatever meds she needed. Seriously, people, when is someone going to leak what these meds were? It's been like three days. It's time. />According to The Daily News, one of the reasons Paris was getting so sick at Lynwood was that she refused to eat or drink for three days, because she didn't want to have to pee in her little cell. Apparently the toilet in the cell was visible to those outside, and she was terrified that someone would take a picture of her on the can. That's hot. There are special websites for things like that, you know. The stainless steel lavatory in the hotel heiress' 12-foot-by-8-foot cell was in plain ...

After a well-publicized argument over her contract for the upcoming season of Grey's Anatomy, it seems Katherine Heigl has been offered a place on the show next season. "Katherine has received a formal pick-up notice and is still hopeful that ABC will show her the same respect that they have shown for her co-stars," says her rep. This quote makes it sound to me like she's not sure she's going to take them up on their offer. With the runaway success of her latest film, Knocked Up, and the...