I've attached here, for your perusal, the three-page cease and desist I got from Nick and Vanessa's legal eagles this evening. They are very unhappy that I posted these pictures, as I, too, would probably be unhappy if someone took pictures of me making an "O" face.
Here's my favorite part: there's a line in there that says that the "Illegal Photos are copyright protected, to which my clients, by virtue of written assignment and transfer, have obtained the exclusive copyright and all r...
Sounds like Paris Hilton was sluttin' it up in Hawaii. Changed indeed. [POTP] Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey hit the beach. [Drunken Stepfather] Hells yeah! Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are working on their first screenplay together since Good Will Hunting. [Cele|bitchy] Janet Jackson went and got fat again. [The Blemish] This is a pretty cool mash-up of Rihanna's "Umbrella" with 80's hits. [popbytes] Diddy's baby mama ditches his ass. [Bossip] J. Lo is still trying to get people to stop calling her J. Lo. She's been at it for like five years now. Not gonna happen, baby. [IBBB] Alessandra Ambrosia and a bikini. You're welcome. [Celebslam] Victoria Beckham says her bra size is a 32B. [Cele|bitchy] Britney Spears pens an apology letter for that whole incident with the umbrella. [Derek Hail] Ashley Tisdale in a bikini. [Drunken Stepfather] It is a distant possibility that Avril Lavigne does not actually write all her own songs. Honestly, people, how can she be expected to find time to be creative and still manage to be that much of a badass? [A Socialite's Life] Al Gore's son is arrested for possession of illegal narcotics. Let the "inconvenient truth" puns begin. [SOW] Julia Roberts was much happier when Lindsay Lohan was drinking and National Enquirer had something to focus on besides the trouble in her marriage. [popbytes] The Sex and the City movie is a go. [Celebrity Smack] Scarlett Johansson's been off the radar for awhile, but she's resurfaced with the grossest nose ring ever. [cityrag]
Whoever is managing this woman needs to be fired again and again and again.
I finally had the opportunity to watch an episode of Hey, Paula, and it is, to summarize, thirty minutes of Paula Abdul wasted. And I do mean for the entire thirty minutes. Seriously, guys, even the Real World kids tend to be sober for some measurable portion of the daytime. Not so with Ms. Abdul. The last time I saw a reality show about someone who was this ridiculously wasted all fucking day, it was called The Anna Nicole Show. And we all know how well that turned out.
Ratings for the show have been dismal, and rightly so. It's mundane. It's pathetic. It's embarrassing. It's not like watching a train wreck. It's like watching the five-year-old you're babysitting crash his Tonka trucks into each other. Over and over again.
But the blame for this extends beyond Paula. Someone pitched this show. Someone agreed to produce it. Bravo agreed to air it. And Paula Abdul herself must have been in at least one or two meetings with these people before any of this happened. So these people knew what they were getting into. It's not like this woman is witty. It's not like she's insightful. It's not like her day-to-day life is particularly interesting. Her staff obviously hates her, and everyone who has to interact with her does so in approximately the same tone of voice you'd employ with your young Tonka aficionado. So I have to figure that all these people were just betting on her being so fucking retarded all the time that it would make good TV. Paula, my dear, you may want to look for new management, preferably one who can focus on helping you conquer your drug problem rather than exploiting it.
I've included a clip of my favorite scene of this episode, in which Paula is touring the lab of a fragrance company producing the perfume to which she's going to lend her name. She stumbles down the stairs to the lab, then drops a sampler on the floor, bends down to pick it up, and doesn't see any pressing reason to stand back up again. She then says the word "sexpot" in much the same way I might, had I taken six Vicodin and polished off two tumblers of Scotch before 1 pm. />
Whoever is managing this woman needs to be fired again and again and again.
I finally had the opportunity to watch an episode of Hey, Paula, and it is, to summarize, thirty minutes of Paula Abdul wasted. And I do mean for the entire thirty minutes. Seriously, guys, even the Real World kids tend to be sober for some measurable portion of the daytime. Not so with Ms. Abdul. The last time I saw a reality show about someone who was this ridiculously wasted all fucking day, it was called The ...
The folks over at the L.A. Times' Envelope were the lucky recipients of some assorted BlackBerry messages from judges at the Emmy contenders panel screening over the weekend, and, based on that input, they've compiled a list of the top ten contenders in the two key categories. They were also kind enough to point out some of the snubbed series in these categories. From their site:
TOP 10 DRAMA SERIES FINALISTS
Boston Legal
Dexter
Friday Night Lights
Grey's Anatomy
Heroes
House
Lost
Rome
The Sopranos
24
Not Nominated:
Deadwood
Rescue Me
The Tudors
The Shield
Brothers & Sisters
Gilmore Girls
Battlestar Galactica
The Riches
TOP 10 COMEDY SERIES FINALISTS
Desperate Housewives
Entourage
Extras
My Name is Earl
The Office
Scrubs
Thirty Rock
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty
Weeds
Not Nominated:
The New Adventures of Old Christine
How I Met Your Mother
Everybody Hates Chris
Perhaps most amusing are the comments they actually received from the judges. Says one judge:
"I gave my number one vote to 'Lost." It was by far and away the best thing in the room in my opinion, followed by 'Grey's Anatomy.' I didn't think I was going to be able to make it through 'Rome.' That show is absolutely stroke inducing. A minute more and I would have cracked."
The same judge says: "'30 Rock' would win with [their submitted episode]. Watch out for that show. That's all I have to say. Haha. I wasn't really even that much of a fan before today." That's right, folks. The people choosing your Emmy winners are the same people haphazardly typing "Haha" into their BlackBerries.
Shedding further light on all the MFA thesis analysis that goes into these decisions, another judge notes that he "thought 'Entourage' was the best. I ranked it number one, but maybe that's just because I love the show so much as a regular viewer." He put 'The Office' "somewhere in the middle — I can't remember."
Good God, people. Joan Rivers puts more thought into analyzing the dresses people wear to the Emmys than you put into choosing the winners.
The Emmy noms will be formally announced on July 19. />The folks over at the L.A. Times' Envelope were the lucky recipients of some assorted BlackBerry messages from judges at the Emmy contenders panel screening over the weekend, and, based on that input, they've compiled a list of the top ten contenders in the two key categories. They were also kind enough to point out some of the snubbed series in these categories. From their site:
TOP 10 DRAMA SERIES FINALISTS
Boston Legal
Dexter
Friday Night Lights
Grey's Anatomy
Heroes
House
Lost
R...
...
Feeling more than a little butthurt that InTouch beat them to the punch on Nicole Richie's pregnancy, E! News confirmed today that Christina Aguilera is, as we'd been speculating, pregnant.
This will be the first baby for both Christina and her husband, Jordan Bratman. Having a baby after you get married? What will these crazy Hollywood kids think up next?...
...
The Grey's star and her fiance showed up at the Dior show at Paris Fashion Week on Monday night, and she looked -- dare I say it -- healthy. Look at those arms! They are looking decidedly un-stick-like. Maybe with all the drama enveloping the set of Grey's Anatomy, Pompeo realized she was going to go totally insane if she didn't start feeding herself. Or maybe she's just happy to be engaged. Or maybe -- just maybe -- she's pregnant.
Whatever the reason, keep it up, Ellen! You and Nicole ca...
Fuck. Me.
If Nicole thinks this shit is getting her out of jail time, she's dead wrong.
So everyone and their little sister mag has decided to announce today that they've "independently confirmed" that Nicole's pregnant, and word on the street is that she and Joel will be getting married this summer (isn't this fun, Hilary?). She kept the pregnancy a "secret" for the first three months (and she's stayed uncharacteristically far from the spotlight for most of that time), but she's now tell...
Admit it. The little bitch looks good again. Seriously, why didn't someone tell me earlier that taking a month off cocaine could have this big an impact on your looks? I'm totally going to try that.
Lindsay spent her 21st birthday at a Malibu beach pad with her family and some friends, including DJ AM, Calum Best, Samantha Ronson and Evan Ross (yup, that's Diana's son). She hung out until past two in the morning, when she was taken back to Promises.
Hooray for summer, and hooray for Lindsay Lo...
Summer makes people do the craziest things. For starters, Zach Braff is dating someone his own age. After splitting from 23-year-old Mandy Moore earlier this year and spending the intervening months dating anything younger than her, the Scrubs star appears to be settling down with none other than Drew Barrymore. The two have been having a magical NYC summer, says Page Six, noting that "the lovebirds held hands strolling down Lafayette Street and that night made out at Beauty Bar."
Braff and B...