It's called "Britney Got a Drivers License" and you sing it to the tune of "Jimmy Crack Corn."
Ready?
Okay.
Ahem.
Britney got a drivers license and I don't care!
Britney got a drivers license and I don't care!
Britney got a drivers license and I don't caaaaaaaaaaaaare!
I'm so fucking over this story!
Did you guys like the song?
I may do a music video. We could podcast it. That's probably what we're missing around here. Podcasts. Well, class, too. Class and podcasts. ...
And, as I expected, we lost about a week's worth of posts/comments.
I know where they live, though, and I plan to hunt them down and bring them to you.
Bear with me, kids. />...
It's just a matter of time, you guys.
But after surrendering her two children to K-Fed -- who, in case you were drinking to blackout all day Monday, won full custody of their children -- she went tanning, went to the DMV (to get a CA drivers license) and then checked into the Peninsula hotel, which will, God willing, not be the scene of her suicide tomorrow.
You know, I'll be sad if I find out tomorrow that Britney spent Monday night getting drunk/high, but at this point, if drinking is going to keep her from doing something worse to herself, I say bring on the partying.
Don't do something stupid, Brit!!!! Get your shit together and get your kids back!!! />
It's just a matter of time, you guys.
But after surrendering her two children to K-Fed -- who, in case you were drinking to blackout all day Monday, won full custody of their children -- she went tanning, went to the DMV (to get a CA drivers license) and then checked into the Peninsula hotel, which will, God willing, not be the scene of her suicide tomorrow.
You know, I'll be sad if I find out tomorrow that Britney spent Monday night getting drunk/high, but at this point, if drinking ...
It's true!
I have amazing taste in women. And one of these days I'll learn to translate that good judgment to the gender to which I feel actual sexual attraction. But until then, at least I can say I always saw the good in Jaslene.
The ANTM winner has just signed on as the spokeswoman for the "Love is Not Abuse" campaign created by Liz Claiborne. The campaign focuses on raising awareness of and preventing teen dating violence.
"It's going to save lives and help people; using my voice,...
"So there was a lot of staying home and doing what you do. Like, all the time, around the clock."
Halle Berry, to Oprah Winfrey, regarding the process she and boyfriend Gabriel Aubry went through while trying to conceive.
The Oscar winner is currently three months pregnant, but she's already thinking about another one. "We're hoping, right after this one, to do it again," she says. ...
Brody Jenner and Audrina Patridge arrived arm-in-arm to the red carpet of the opening of SKY360 lounge in NYC.
Lauren's BFF? And Lauren's boy toy?
Hmmm.
Brody Jenner is so, so good at keeping himself in the spotlight....
In Touch is reporting that a man Britney met while vacationing in Hawaii left a video camera running (without Brit's knowledge) during their hook-up session, and he might be releasing the tape.
The only thing holding him back?
He's embarrassed about his own performance!
"It was just normal, we didn't do anything crazy," he says. "It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out."
Meanwhile, Britney's two kids have been photographed looking happy as...
Everyone's favorite ladies man appears to have settled down.
Andrew Firestone just got engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Ivana Bozilovic.
His family adores her, and she's helping him run the family's Paso Robles winery.
Congrats, Andrew!...
Which will probably be never. So you can love it along with me or you can roll your eyes and go on to the next post, because I'm probably not going to stop anytime soon.
We're still filming SATC in Manhattan -- where it's sometimes winter, apparently.
I think Carrie must dye her hair at some point in the film, since these pictures were taken on the same day, and SJP's hair color changes throughout. She goes dark for winter, light for summer.
I am so excited for this movie. ...
"This isn't a Hilton hotel, is it?"
Barack Obama's 9-year-old daughter, Malia. Obama told Tyra Banks that his daughter does not approve of Paris Hilton, and does not want to stay in Hilton hotels as the family tours the country while Dad campaigns for the Presidency.
Does Malia Obama want to write for us?
We'll take someone with her sensibility any day!...
It's not that she was ever, like, horrifically ugly, but she was on TRL on Monday, and homegirl looked damn good. I mean, she was always just kind of an average-looking girl who played on ugly girl on TV, but now she's starting to look like a starlet. I guess an Emmy will do that.
Hopefully she won't pull an Anna Faris and get a ton of work done. I think she's super cute right now, just the way she is. ...
Congratulations to Keith Urban, who actually managed to crash his motorcycle on the way to an AA meeting. I think that may be a first in the world of celebrity gossip -- and we don't have many firsts left -- so this dude deserves a pat on the back.
Said Urban in a statement:
While out riding to an AA meeting, a time when my privacy is especially important to me, I felt myself being pursued [by paparazzi]. I sped up, and in an effort to elude an oncoming car, which was making an illegal...