Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Michael Jackson Autopsy Leak Declared Fake by Coroner

michael_jackson_-_another_part_of_me3 Earlier today, UK tabloid The Sun released an article claiming they had information on the results of Michael Jackson's autopsy. They said Jackson's weight was down to 110 pounds, that he had no food in his stomach, just pills, that he had cuts and bruises on his arms and back, and a bunch of other horrible stuff. The Los Angeles coroner says this information is false. "The report that is being published did not come from our office,'' said the coroner's spokesman. "I don't know where that information came from, or who that information came from. It is not accurate. Some of it is totally false....

Your Opportunity to Sound Smart for the Day: Bernie Madoff Sentenced to 150 Years in Prison

Madoff Court Okay you guys, check it out. Later today, when someone's all like, "Hey did you hear that Michael Jackson's mother got temporary custody of the kids?", you get to be all like, "Oh, yes, I think I heard that. I don't know. I don't follow celebrity gossip that closely; it all seems so silly to me. But I was relieved to hear about the Madoff sentencing today." Bernie Madoff, the evil New York financier who swindled investors out of billions of dollars using a Ponzi scheme (that's your fancy w...

Jackson’s Mother Awarded Temporary Custody of Children

michael-jackson-46_1006512c A Los Angeles County Superior Court judge issued a ruling this morning granting temporary guardianship of Michael Jackson’s three children to his mother, Katherine Jackson. Judge Mitchell Beckloff has set a hearing for July 6 at 8:30 a.m. for the case, where the children do not have to be present. Prince Michael Jr., 12, Paris Michael Katherine, 11, and Prince Michael II, 7, are living with their grandmother and their grandfather, Joe Jackson, and have a "long established relationship" w...

Leighton Meester/Cobra Starship Video: “Good Girls Go Bad”

There is a long list of people who ought to be penning thank-you notes to Michael Jackson's estate right now. These people include Senator John Ensign, Governor Mark Sanford, and Leighton Meester. With the media insanity surrounding MJ's death, the cheating scandals of Ensign and Sanford have disappeared from view like a political penis into an intern's hoo-hah, and we've now forgotten entirely about Leighton Meester's little foot-job sex tape. Luckily for Leighton, she's got a chance to be back in the spotlight for something other than her fancy footwork -- her latest track with Cobra Starship, "Good Girls Go Bad," is poised to be one of the hottest songs of the summer. I told you guys about this song back in May, when it had first hit the Internet, and it's starting to get widespread radio play and gain popularity now. I LOVE this track. I just can't get enough of it. The video was just released -- enjoy! />Cobra Starship - New Music - More Music Videos There is a long list of people who ought to be penning thank-you notes to Michael Jackson's estate right now. These people include Senator John Ensign, Governor Mark Sanford, and Leighton Meester. With the media insanity surrounding MJ's death, the cheating scandals of Ensign and Sanford have disappeared from view like a political penis into an intern's hoo-hah, and we've now forgotten entirely about Leighton Meester's little foot-job sex tape. Luckily for Lei...

Alanis Morrissette Scores Guest Role on Weeds

alanis_morissette Hi y'all! I know I was MIA last week -- I took a much-needed vacation, and I can't thank Wendie and Kelly enough for doing such an incredible job in my absence. I'd be lost without those two. But I'm back now, and I have a lot to say about a lot of the things that have been going on, but up first: Alanis Morrissette. Apparently Alanis figures that if Scarlett Johansson can step in on her ex-fiance and release an album, the least she can do is invade one part of Scarlett's world: acting. Alanis...

Miley Cyrus Kisses Nick Onstage at Jonas Brothers Concert???

miley_cyrus_nick_jonas We're hearing from sources that Miley and Nick are DEFINITELY back on!!! The Jonas Brothers made the first stop of their tour tonight in Arlington, Texas -- and Miley was with them! She surprised the audience by stepping onstage during the final song and kissing Nick!!! Wow, so I guess we know for sure now why she left Justin. Who leaves a hottie model with a package like this for Nick Jonas?? Miley Cyrus, apparently, and she wants the world to know! Was anyone else in the audie...

Paris Hilton’s Family Hated Doug as Much as I Did

Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt at Premiere of Rex Pictures Photos Priceless little quotes coming out of the AEG party at Club Nokia last night. From Paris's mother, Kathy Hilton: "I think Paris needs to be with someone who is a bit more mature, older and has their own thing." And from her aunt, Kyle Richards, who's definitely more of a famewhore than Kathy: "The stories out there about our family not approving of their relationship are completely true. Doug was riding Paris' coattails. The break-up affected me in a good way. It's definitely time for Paris to move on." Oooh, I love it! I'm actually cackling to myself. I am rejoicing in Douche's pain! Seriously I have had the worst PMS all day and I'v...

The Leighton Meester Sex Tape Has Arrived

leighton_meester And it involves a footjob, apparently. A video of Leighton Meester having sex with a boyfriend, made years ago, is available on celebhotline.com, where you can also check out screen captures of the film (NSFW, natch). The site offers a free trial 7-day membership, and then it costs $39.95/month. What do you think, guys? Should I sign up to check out the tape? I've never actually seen a footjob. Oh, and I don't feel like I should have to say this yet again, but, seriously, people, don't make a se...

Kristen and Dakota Are Totes BFF

90617nn3_stewart_k_b_gr_05 You know what? This is exactly what needed to happen to Dakota. She's in LA filming Runaways with the coolest girl in school, Kristen Stewart, and the two seem to have gotten awfully chummy during this time. I've been waiting for years for this perfect little child to release that dark, dirty, tabloid-friendly side that I know she has deep inside her. I think K-Stew's gonna be the one to release the dragon -- Puff, the Magic Dragon, if ya catch my drift. And yet, I'm torn. There's a part of me...

Carly Smithson to Become New Evanescence Frontwoman

The band's former lead vocalist -- the huge-voiced Amy Lee -- left the group to pursue other projects, so now they're teaming up with Idol sixth-place finisher Carly Smithson to form a new band, The Fallen. "I kept getting told that 'you don't have the rock voice, you can't do rock music,' " Smithson told the Los Angeles Times. "But it's everything I am. It's everything I listen to. I'm not the regular girl next door." The band will debut their first single on June 22, on their website. Above find Carly doing one of Evanescence's hits, "Bring Me to Life," on the Idol tour. What do you think? Can she replace Amy? /> The band's former lead vocalist -- the huge-voiced Amy Lee -- left the group to pursue other projects, so now they're teaming up with Idol sixth-place finisher Carly Smithson to form a new band, The Fallen. "I kept getting told that 'you don't have the rock voice, you can't do rock music,' " Smithson told the Los Angeles Times. "But it's everything I am. It's everything I listen to. I'm not the regular girl next door." The band will debut their first single on June 22, on their website. ...

Look Out Ladies: Jennifer “Can’t Find Love” Hewitt Is Writing a Book About Dating

jennifer_love_hewitt_lg J-Love may have wormed her slimy little way into Wendie's heart, but I continue to carry my distaste for her. And I am EXTREMELY SCARED for women everywhere now that I hear she's writing a book about dating. With plenty of dating experience under her belt, Jennifer Love Hewitt has decided to write a book, titled The Day I Shot Cupid, addressing romantic relationships that will include everything from tips on text-flirting and how to start over after a breakup. "I thought it was time to share the real story of what I've learned n...

Pics of Jon Gosselin Smoking … Weed?

Jon Gosselin Well, that's sure not how I ever smoked a cigarette. I have seen people smoke pot that way. Just saying. We told you earlier in the day that Jon was spotted in Manhattan smoking a cigarette, but I'm getting the distinct feeling that's not the only thing he smokes. Check out these pics of Jon Gosselin puffing away at something outside the family's house in Reading, Pa. He also greets a woman with a hug outside their home. [gallery] Images via INF...