So, um, I know I'm basically like a factory of excuses these days, and I understand that the overwhelming majority of you hate me right now, but just as soon as my life and my posting got back into a normal swing, I came down with that awful flu that's sweeping the nation. I'm basically immobile. I have been sleeping for nearly 48 hours straight at this point. Seriously, I get up every 7-8 hours to pee and eat a bowl of cereal, and then I'm back down for the count. I have never been this pervasively exhausted in my whole life. I am genuinely worried that my heart is going to take a nap, too, and then I'll be dead. I would go to the hospital but I'm sure I smell really bad right now and I'm too tired/afraid of falling asleep and drowning to shower and I don't want to leave the house looking this way.
So anyway.
I am going to do my damndest to stay conscious for the Oscars tonight so I can try to write about them tomorrow, but, until then, my good friend Laremy over at Film.com is doing some pretty exhaustive Oscars coverage. He's a damn funny guy, and I'd encourage you all to head over there and check it out. Click here to read. />So, um, I know I'm basically like a factory of excuses these days, and I understand that the overwhelming majority of you hate me right now, but just as soon as my life and my posting got back into a normal swing, I came down with that awful flu that's sweeping the nation. I'm basically immobile. I have been sleeping for nearly 48 hours straight at this point. Seriously, I get up every 7-8 hours to pee and eat a bowl of cereal, and then I'm back down for the count. I have never been this pervasively...
REM's back with a new album, Accelerate.
Here's the video for the first single, "Supernatural Superserious."
Thoughts? />...
It's fascinating to see what some companies will come up with to promote their products.
Jelly Belly used 10,000 jelly beans to create a very special portrait of Oscar nominee George Clooney. It's currently displayed at the Luxe Hotel in Beverly Hills.
I've included the far-away view of this opus, as well as a close-up of George's eye, so you can see the kind of jelly bean insanity we're dealing with here.
And what's with the weird halo around his head? He's an Oscar nominee, people, not Jesus Christ. ...
What is this, sweetheart?
It broke my heart to let you go, but I see now that I dodged a bullet.
I still love you, baby. Blake Lively and I are very, very happy, and I just want what's best for you. And those boots, baby? They're what's best for, like, gay coal miners.
And your boobs look absolutely adorable in this dress. But, see, the thing is, as an adult woman, you don't want your boobs to look adorable. Eleven-year-old girls have adorable boobs. It's, like, "Aw, look how she's ...
What we need is Britney Spears to stay home instead of traipsing all over town. That would solve the problem. We don't need additional laws.... I've got laws coming out my ears to deal with this issue.
What you have is several young women in this town and several young men basically making fools of themselves and tying up not only my resources but the resources of the media that would do better covering legitimate stories instead of a bunch of airheads running around out there....
Quite...
It's a non-issue, kids.
McCain's gonna win the whole thing anyway. ...
...
It "was an idea we discussed together and came up with... it was about how we all have different consciences and voices in our head that tell us what to do and how to react. They're not good or bad, they're just voices that we hear, telling us how to behave. That's what the other figures are in the painting," says the artist, Vincent Fantauzzo, who painted Heath just weeks before his death.
Something tells me this is going to end up as a poster on the wall of teenagers everywhere for many ...
Paris is out and about with Simon Rex again, this time at Goa, where she was slipping nipples left and right and smoking what may or may not be a joint.
Oh, Paris.
Aren't you getting a little old for this nonsense?
...
Ahhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha.
I love stories like this.
Little punk Aaron Carter is sitting in jail right now.
He was busted earlier this morning in Texas with two ounces of weed. He was originally pulled over on I-10 for speeding, and, when cops searched his vehicle, they found his stash.
His ass will be in jail until at least tomorrow, when a judge will arraign him.
Does Texas have the death penalty for things like this? They ought to. God bless Texas!...
The day has finally arrived!
Early this morning, in Long Island, NY, Ms. Jennifer Lopez gave birth to a healthy baby girl and, 11 minutes later, a healthy baby boy.
The twins are as yet unnamed.
"Jennifer and Marc are delighted, thrilled and over the moon," says Jen's manager.
Congrats to the happy couple!...