Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.
So Joe "Rapist" Francis got out of jail in Reno, then schlepped his ass across the country to Florida to face charges for filming girls he fully knew were underage.
He opted to plead guilty to the charges, and the judge in Florida sentenced him to time served, plus six months of probation and told little Joey he couldn't film in that county for the next three years.
Yeah, that's "county," not "country," and that's a damn shame.
If I were a Presidential candidate right now, I'd make my campa...
Break the Ice
Ah.
So I've finally arrived in San Diego, had a lovely dinner of Chinese food with my super-genius kid sister, and then she settled down in her bedroom to study the kind of thing that super-genius PhD students study, and I set up my laptop in the living room to catch up on a day's worth of gossip. My super-genius little sister dedicates absolutely zero percent of her time to following celebrity gossip, because she's busy saving the environment and stuff.
I discover that the new Britney Spears video has been released, and I watch it. My sister wanders out of her room. "What is that noise?" I tell her I'm watching the new Britney Spears video, and she peers over my shoulder, curiously, to see what could possibly be so interesting. "Is that supposed to be her?" she asks. "Because it doesn't look a thing like her." She pauses, thinks, and then from her super-genius mouth: "You know, I think she thinks she's a lot prettier than she actually is."
Ah, from the mouths of babes...
Here's Britney.
Here's the video.
It kinda sucks.
But you knew that. />Break the Ice
Ah.
So I've finally arrived in San Diego, had a lovely dinner of Chinese food with my super-genius kid sister, and then she settled down in her bedroom to study the kind of thing that super-genius PhD students study, and I set up my laptop in the living room to catch up on a day's worth of gossip. My super-genius little sister dedicates absolutely zero percent of her time to following celebrity gossip, because she's busy saving the environment and stuff.
I discover that the ...
Hey kiddos,
So I'm taking a break for the rest of the day to drive back to SoCal, where I'll make a pit stop in San Diego to bother my genius PhD-student little sister during her finals (and she hates when I talk about her on this blog, so I'll be sure to give you guys a comprehensive update on how she's doing), and then it's off to LA, where I'll be hitting up the Conway & Whitman show on 97.1 to blab for an hour about whatever it is I do. I'll be on from 10-11 pm PST on Thursday night, so be sure to tune in. If you're not in LA, you can listen on their website.
I'll check back in with you guys tonight!
xoxo
Beet />Hey kiddos,
So I'm taking a break for the rest of the day to drive back to SoCal, where I'll make a pit stop in San Diego to bother my genius PhD-student little sister during her finals (and she hates when I talk about her on this blog, so I'll be sure to give you guys a comprehensive update on how she's doing), and then it's off to LA, where I'll be hitting up the Conway & Whitman show on 97.1 to blab for an hour about whatever it is I do. I'll be on from 10-11 pm PST on Thursday night, so be su...
Here's Kate at the red carpet premiere of 21 in Vegas.
Her body looks amazing these days. She's put those pro-ana years far behind her, and she looks fit, healthy and trim.
The outfit?
I'll let you guys weigh in on that. ...
So, yeah, Nicky Hilton's spring collection hit the runway last night, and it's all good and well that she's creating a viable career and working hard at something that actually contributes something substantial to our culture as a whole, but forget all that: let's talk about her eating disorder.
"There's no truth to any starvation, eating disorders, rumors," she told People magazine at her show last night. "I think the press has been printing a lot of pictures of me from unflattering angl...
No, no, I'm serious.
RADAR magazine gave the dude a regular advice column.
When I first read this, I was like, "Oh, okay, it's a new spin on the advice column: people will just write in each week and give Spencer Pratt some advice, because he obviously needs it."
But no.
Spencer Pratt will be the one entrusted to advise other people.
"Spencer is never afraid to speak his mind," Radar editor Maer Roshan said in a statement. "When asking for advice, it's good to have someone who ...
Donald and Melania took little Barron -- who turns two on March 20 -- to a fundraising event for the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in Midtown.
This is one seriously adorable child. The Donald must be pissed that another ultra-wealthy Barron -- cough cough -- went and got himself a DUI, proving that no matter what an absurdly elitist name you choose to award your child, you can't stop him from eventually behaving like a human being.
Meanwhile, on the Upper West Side, Barron'...
Paris and Benji hit up LA Fashion Week events after spending the day together at a spa in WeHo.
Seriously?
He looks like a Blues Brother.
You know Paris is not having sex with him. I'm sorry, call her a slut all you want, I guaran-fucking-tee you this chick does not go home at the end of the night and spread her legs for this dude. It just doesn't happen. ...
Yeah, you read that right.
That Billy Crystal.
Those Yankees.
The New York Yankees have signed Crystal to a one-day minor league contract, and he'll play in Thursday's exhibition game against the Pittsburgh Pirates.
He'll wear the number 60, as the game will take place a day before his 60th birthday.
"I've been waiting 50 years for this call," Crystal said in a statement released by the team. "I'm overwhelmed by the generosity of the Yankees and commissioner Selig. I know this...
I'm engaging in my typical afternoon activity -- flipping through paparazzi pics while eating Honey Nut Cheerios -- and I come across these shots of Papa Lohan and his girlfriend Erin and I'm like, "Ooh! New pics of Erin! Yay!" And then I'm like, "Oh, God, did I really just think that?" This girl is like three steps removed from genuine celebrity. And yet, somehow, I care. I guess that's why this is my job, right?
Little is known about the elusive Erin -- she's an insurance agent and a lic...
Since the regular doses of Lexapro and Ativan make it impossible for her to actually express emotion on her face, Britney's found another way to be animated: her next video will be a cartoon.
Oh, genius, genius, genius!
The video for "Break the Ice" will be set in a futuristic world, with cartoon Britney depicted as some manner of superhero.
Sources say the cartoon video was Britney's own idea, and I totally believe that. Her label probably woke her from her slumber with a 2 pm phone...