So little Barron Hilton's not doing jail time for his first DUI (hopefully of many!), but he'll have three years probation, which gives him three full years to potentially violate probation and end up in the slammer, Paris-style.
He also loses his license for a year and will have to attend three months of alcohol education classes.
You know, one of my friends in Arizona is currently in the midst of taking those alcohol education classes for her DUI. It was her second DUI, and she did t...
I woke up this morning in Canyonville, Oregon with the curious sensation that everything was going to be okay.
I'd driven from Sacramento to Canyonville in pitch black, so this was my first time actually seeing Oregon. I've decided that Oregon is good for the soul. It's impossible to stay mad at God when you're surrounded by such majestic natural beauty. I think Charlie's puppy heaven looks a lot like Oregon.
I stopped in Eugene and walked around the University of Oregon, where I found both the people and the campus to be wonderful. I have never met a nicer fucking parking attendant in my life. In fact, everyone I talked to in the whole state of Oregon went out of their way to be kind and helpful. At this one rest stop, a local church sponsors a booth out front where they give free coffee and cookies to the travelers. Not, like, on Christmas. Just on a Wednesday in April. Just to be nice. Cutest. Shit. Ever.
I then drove through Washington, which is also gorgeous, and check out what was waiting for me as I approached the outskirts of Seattle:
I woke up this morning in Canyonville, Oregon with the curious sensation that everything was going to be okay.
I'd driven from Sacramento to Canyonville in pitch black, so this was my first time actually seeing Oregon. I've decided that Oregon is good for the soul. It's impossible to stay mad at God when you're surrounded by such majestic natural beauty. I think Charlie's puppy heaven looks a lot like Oregon.
I stopped in Eugene and walked around the University of Oregon, where I found both...
This scene from Hillary Duff's new flick, War, Inc., has been making the Internet rounds.
In it, Hillary puts a scorpion in her pants.
And I'm not talking about Joel Madden. />...
The Times of London issued a report indicating that wealthy, successful men are more likely to marry brunettes.
Damn. This totally explains everything. You knew this all along, didn't you, Sarah Larson? You bitch. />...
Um, I guess this is a good thing.
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have confirmed that they are engaged.
Ashlee's 23, which is just a little bit older than Jess was when she married Nick Lachey. Temporarily.
So I'm not saying that people can't get married at 23 and make it work. I'm just saying that people can't get married at 23 and make it work in Hollywood.
Enjoy it while it lasts, kids, and be sure to make the most of it by letting reality TV cameras invade the privacy of your...
The Playboy magnate turns a whopping 82 years old today.
And he got an early birthday present from Pamela Anderson. When Hef and Holly entered their penthouse at the Palms, they were greeted by Pam, who was butt-ass naked except for a pair of high heels, and holding a cake.
"Pam wasn't paid to do it, she just wanted to show her love for Hef," says a source.
Um, okay, but between Girls Next Door and Pam's upcoming reality TV show, how many video cameras do you think were there to cap...
It "bears all the credibility and seriousness of flying saucers from Mars or leprechauns. Or any manner of malicious, paranoid superstition. In other words, it's bullshit. It's a complete disaster. It's an act of fascist madness."
Tommy Lee Jones, on the fence going up along the Texas/Mexico border to prevent immigration. ...
We finally got a shot of Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan together!
Yay!
Oh, they are soooo doing it.
And by "it" I of course mean "cocaine."
The photo agency says this pic was taken at a "medical center" in Beverly Hills. I sure do hope that by "medical center" they mean "AA meeting."...
...
Okay, seriously, when my ass gets pregnant, I am going to sit on the fucking couch all day long and be like "BRING ME MORE PICKLES AND FRO-YO!" Even if no one else is home, I'm going to yell that, just because, and I'm going to do nothing all day long but be pregnant and whiny and demanding and urinating, because I am single-handedly perpetuating the species and I have a right to do whatever the fuck I feel like.
Angelina Jolie is much more mature than I.
Even though she's waaaay pregg...
Damn, you know what would really cheer me up?
Another celebrity DUI.
It's been awhile since we've had a good one, don't you think?
And it looks like Mischa Barton's going to weasel her way out of jail time by cutting a deal, as inside sources say she'll plead no contest to her December 27 DUI charge. She'll have three years probation and have to take those worthless alcohol education classes, none of which will do anything to cheer me up. I want her in jail, dammit!!! If we can't put he...
Well, she's not anymore.
She'd been engaged to Jeffrey Dean Morgan -- who appears on Weeds with her, but who you'll remember as Denny Duquette from Grey's Anatomy, although he's starting to look like a Javier Bardem body double these days, IMHO -- and the two decided to call it off recently, according to a source.
I prefer not to think to much about Ms. Parker, because she used to date Adam Duritz and is still all BFF with him, and I hate her for that, but this girl seems to be way unl...