Patrick Swayze announced on Sunday that, despite the fact that he's battling pancreatic cancer, he'll stay on in the lead role of the upcoming A&E series, The Beast. He'll play an FBI agent who becomes a target of Internal Affairs. "I have searched for quite a long time to find a character that is this multilayered, unpredictable and downright entertaining as well as a project this current and cutting-edged," Swayze said in a statement from A&E. The show will begin filming in Chicago this summer, and will air in early 2009. ...

I don't know how to put this nicely. Liv Tyler looks awful at the premiere of The Incredible Hulk. I hate everything about this look. The shoes are too clunky for the dress. And the dress is too thin for her legs. Liv is obviously one of those girls whose legs get bulkier when they work out, and that can be really sexy, but the dress is so thin and light that it just makes her thighs look gargantuan. She should have gone with a heavier, darker fabric and a cleaner cut. And the bottom of...

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice leads the warm-up at the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in DC. OMG, you guys, how much would you pay for the Condoleezza Rice work-out DVD? There's an amazing parody in there somewhere. Lots of funny jokes to be made. Unfortunately I don't know enough about politics to make them myself. [Image via Splash]...

1) Which star of a new TV hit has Hollywood scrambling to the pharmacy? He's spreading herpes around town like wildfire. 2) Which hit TV show's cast members are as bad in real life as the characters in the plotline? At a recent party, two of the hot actors held up the bathroom line while cutting their own lines in the stalls. />...

This week's episode of Living Lohan focused on the fact that Ali was the target of "mean girls" at her school. And in her neighborhood. They're all juss jealous, of course. The cure? Dina Lohan dragging Ali's ass to some inner-city performing arts program where a bunch of black kids sing their hearts out about their awful home lives and Dina's eyes tear up. This was, according to Dina, so that Ali could hang out with other kids who are "going through the same thing" as Ali. Which doesn't make any sense at all. What these kids are going through has absolutely nothing to do with what Ali is going through. I don't know why she couldn't have just been like "I want Ali to see this so that she understands how good she has it, and how some people sing and dance as a form of passionate, healthy, imperative expression and not to guarantee themselves a VIP table at Goa stocked with Grey Goose and cocaine." That would have been totally acceptable. But to imply that the problems these kids face have anything to do with the fact that Ali is being occasionally and non-violently teased by girls at her suburban high school is just insane. It's like, if my daughter's contact lens fell out one day at school and she couldn't find it and got all upset, I wouldn't make her spend a day at a school for blind kids in the hopes that she could find someone there to relate to in her struggle. Just saying. Dude, did I have a point? Not really. But what I think is funny? All those girls yelling at Ali to go visit her sister in rehab? Will probably be in rehab themselves one day. That level of teenage insecurity just screams future drug abuse. /> This week's episode of Living Lohan focused on the fact that Ali was the target of "mean girls" at her school. And in her neighborhood. They're all juss jealous, of course. The cure? Dina Lohan dragging Ali's ass to some inner-city performing arts program where a bunch of black kids sing their hearts out about their awful home lives and Dina's eyes tear up. This was, according to Dina, so that Ali could hang out with other kids who are "going through the same thing" as Ali. Which does...

That's right: YOUR DAUGHTER! Samantha Sheen is never, ever, ever happy at this shit. NEVER. This weekend was no different, as Denise dragged poor Sam unwillingly into the spotlight at the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation fundraiser. She is smiling in none of the pictures from this event, just like she never, ever smiles at these events. Because she is miserable. Because you would be too if Denise Richards was your mother. Who keeps dragging you into the spotlight when you just want to sit at home and be normal. CUT THIS OUT, DENISE!!! [Image via Splash...

Lindsay Lohan hit up the Roosevelt Hotel on Sunday to meet up with Samantha Ronson, cigarette in hand. What's with the shoes? Are we showing our support for the Native American hookers of this country, Lindsay? ...

What's the best way to help the world forget about the fact that you were captured on tape singing about "gooks" and "nips"? Make a very public appearance holding your daddy's hand! Amy Winehouse had dinner in London last night with her father Mitch. WHY ARE YOU TAKING HER TO DINNER, DUDE??? TAKE HER TO REHAB!!!! THEY HAVE FOOD THERE, TOO!...

We told you guys that Jessica was spotted being wheeled into Cedars-Sinai this weekend, and now reports are confirming that the actress has welcomed a baby girl. Congrats, Jessica and Cash! ...

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OMG. Gasp! Someone stole the camera of Amy's incarcerated hubby, Blake Civil-Fielder, and sold their contents to News of the World. And there are drug paraphernalia! The footage includes a tape of Amy and a friend singing a "racist" song. Frankly, the song isn't really all that racist -- I mean, it's Amy singing a bunch of mild racial slurs -- but it's nothing compared to some of the shit we've caught on tape from, say, Paris Hilton or Dog the Bounty Hunter or Michael Richards. It's...