You know, I spend so much time thinking about who the next generation of gossip is going to be. Like, will we see problems out of Miley Cyrus? Selena Gomes? Demi Lovato? Should I keep my eye on Ali Lohan? I worry that interest in the Britney/Lindsay/Paris trifecta will wain as they start to get their shit together, and I focus on the up-and-comers. And then I remember that we'll always have the old folks, still fucking up. The Christie Brinkley divorce trial. The potential Madonna divorce. J...

As divorce rumors swirl, Guy Ritchie and Madonna take their clan to the Kabbalah center in NYC together. Madonna's not in this particular photo, but she was there with Guy. You know, if those divorce rumors are true, I have to give Madonna and Guy credit for obviously working really hard to try to make their marriage work. ...

And I'm back! You know, sometimes even gossip bloggers need a couple of days off, especially gossip bloggers with ouchy feet, and I'm really glad I just got to take some time to sleep and relax. Thank you guys for not being assholes about the brief lapse in material. Here's what you missed while I was gone:

• Peter Cook on Christie Brinkley's divorce testimony: "Shrek was more believable!" [People]
• Mandy Moore's boyfriend dumped her because of her paparazzi hangers-on, muttering something about needing to stay "punk as fuck AND sober." [Perez]
• Lynda Carter, now 10 years sober, opened up about her battle with alcoholism. [People]
• Amy Winehouse played a gig in Spain with her wine glass in hand. EVERYTHING IS TOTALLY FINE. [Yahoo]
• A cure for Herpes? May be coming soon. Paris Hilton rejoices. [Jezebel]
• A male employee of Rachael Ray says he lost his job on her show because of his anorexia, and now he's hungry for revenge. He's suing her. [E!]

/>And I'm back! You know, sometimes even gossip bloggers need a couple of days off, especially gossip bloggers with ouchy feet, and I'm really glad I just got to take some time to sleep and relax. Thank you guys for not being assholes about the brief lapse in material. Here's what you missed while I was gone: Peter Cook on Christie Brinkley's divorce testimony: "Shrek was more believable!" [People] Mandy Moore's boyfriend dumped her because of her paparazzi hangers-on, muttering som...

America! Fuck yeah! Unless Angelina Jolie decides to give birth to the Lords of the New World Order on Friday, I'll see you guys on Saturday. I'll be celebrating my country's independence on Friday. And by "celebrating my country's independence" I of course mean "drinking." /> America! Fuck yeah! Unless Angelina Jolie decides to give birth to the Lords of the New World Order on Friday, I'll see you guys on Saturday. I'll be celebrating my country's independence on Friday. And by "celebrating my country's independence" I of course mean "drinking."...

As I was heading out to the ER, my wonderful friend Laura called and told me to go to a podiatrist instead. I called a nearby one, explained my situation, and they said they could get me in today. Which they did. It was a very fancy office with very fancy X-ray equipment and I have a very fancy broken foot. And now I am wearing this very fancy monstrosity. As my mother pointed out to me while I was whimpering to her on my drive home from the doctor ("Mom, this is not fashion-forward!"), th...

Sources say that Megan Fox has ended her engagement to Brian Austin Green. Who could have seen that coming? Oh, right. Everybody. I'm not sure yet if Megan is totally single or if she's just called off the wedding plans, but no doubt it occurred to her at some point that she's a super-hot up-and-coming starlet and he's Brian Austin Green. Yeah. ...

I am headed to the ER to get an X-ray of my foot. I may return today, I may return tomorrow, I may return next week. Lord only knows. />...

David Arquette lends some celebrity support to the Second Harvest Kick Off The Summer Food Service Program. This particular program helps provide nutritious meals to underprivileged kids when they're not getting the meals at school. To learn more about the program and how you can help, click here. ...

I have to say, I'm just not super-psyched about this. I didn't even really watch the last few seasons of Friends, so I don't have any idea where they'd even pick up, but word on the street is that the box office success of Sex and the City has encouraged the cast of Friends to get together for a movie. Apparently all the other cast members had been interested for awhile, but Jennifer Aniston was dragging her heels. "As the biggest star of the Friends franchise, Jennifer can't help but look at what's happened with Sarah Jessica Parker and the Sex And The City film and be a little jealous," says a sourc...

Verne Troyer's spurned ex-girlfriend and sex tape parter, Ranae Shrider, signed a declaration filed in federal court in Los Angeles stating the tape was created with her video camera. Her statement prompted a judge to allow TMZ to reinstate a post featuring snippets of the tape. The judge has still barred a porn distributor named in a $20 million lawsuit filed by Troyer from distributing or taking orders for the 50-minute tape. However, TMZ reports that now Ranae herself is shopping the tape around town. They th...