He wed his kids' nanny, Ryan Shawhughes, who he also knocked up. Apparently the super-secret ceremony took place three weeks ago in New York. It probably wasn't even super-secret. They probably did it in the middle of Central Park at noon with huge balloons and skywriting. It just took three weeks for anyone to get around to writing a story about it.
I'm sure Uma Thurman is devastated. She's probably crying her eyes out while she has dirty sex on a pile of money with her hottie gazillionaire fiance, Arpad Busson. UPGRADE!...
Who's the disgusting hot-shot director who treats his extras like hookers?
Find out at the end of the vid! />...
![](http://www.evilbeetgossip.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/angie_helping.jpg "Angelina Jolie at \\"Iraq, Education, and Children of Conflict\\" Pictures, Photos")
So everyone was all wetting their pants today about how OK! magazine is going to pay Matthew McConaughey $3M for the first photos of Baby Gravity Bong -- aka Levi -- including shots of his first Christmas.
Now comes news that the photos of the Brangelina twins are going to go for AT LEAST $16M. That's where bidding is at right now. EVEN if you go with a per-capita average, Matthew McConaughey's child is worth less than half of a single Brangelina tot. You know that kid's going to spend the...
Jessica Simpson made sure that the WireImage photographers were on-hand to capture all the fun of her 28th birthday at a bar in Calabasas. Tony Romo was, of course, present, and it appears he sang karaoke on the stage. Also there: sis Ashlee and Pete Wentz, and, for whatever reason, Vivica Fox.
Happy birthday, Jessica!
Oh, and this has nothing to do with anything, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I called my bank and disputed the charges from the tanning salon. They told me the...
Dane Cook is going to trial. But not on charges of awful, awful comedy. No, he's going to trial because his landlord is trying to evict him because his dog shits everywhere.
Jury selection was today.
Apparently the questions Dane's lawyer asked to the jurors included the following:
- What's worse: Stepping in gum or stepping in dog poop?
- If you live next to a park and saw dog poop, would you avoid that park?
- Would you confront someone about spitting out gum on the sidewalk or not pi...
"They didn't take my advice at all! And as you may have seen, they did get engaged and they did get married. Maybe I will counsel the divorce."
Florence Henderson, on how she recommended that Christopher Knight not get engaged to Adrianne Curry....
People.com has a first listen to Ali Lohan's single, "All the Way Around."
Listen to it here.
Ali says she's different from Miley Cyrus: "She’s really good. But I have different music than her. It’s a different vibe – it’s definitely a different vibe. Mine is more hip-hop. Kind of like Rihanna.â€
Sigh.
Somewhere, Rihanna is rolling her eyes.
The only difference between Ali and Miley is that Ali's single is actually more treacly than Miley's stuff....
Eh, maybe, maybe not.
Chloe Sevigny showed up on the red carpet for the LA premiere of Generation Kill holding hands with actor James Ransone.
A budding romance?
Or a dumb publicity stunt?
Regardless, Chloe looks slightly less than totally ridiculous in whatever she's wearing, and I'm just grateful for that. ...
Elizabeth Hurley and her husband of over a year, super-rich dude Arun Nayar, hang out on the streets of Manhattan, hookerless.
Elizabeth still looks fantastic.
...
Very important question.
So Max (my big male cat) and Leo (my little male dog) have this little game they play, where Max pins Leo down and then starts biting on his neck, vampire-style. Like, Max opens his mouth wide and sinks his teeth into Leo's neck and just keeps them there. To the point where I find myself vaguely concerned that Max is going to give Leo a hicky. This behavior has gone on for several days. Leo doesn't seem to mind -- sometimes he swats a little at Max, but mostly he just...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha.
Not that there's anything funny about nut-related anaphylactic shock.
But aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Sometimes you feel like a nut!
Sometimes you're in anaphylactic shock!
OMG I crack myself up.
I also like how when you're talking about David Lee Roth almost dying from "a nut," there's the vague connotation that he entered cardiac arrest during orgasm. I considered playing on that angle, but it's 2 am and I'm lazy.
S...