Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh Sad Day! Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong Are Dunzo!

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Kate goes through men like Owen Wilson goes through liquor. Did that cross a line? Eh. Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong are reportedly splitsville after a three-month whirlwind romance. "There was no drama or ugliness – They just decided to end things," said a source. "There is no hatred, just sadness." I wonder what went wrong? They both seemed so gung-ho about this. ...

Not Dead Yet!

Michael Douglas is still alive, and apparently still porking Catherine Zeta-Jones. The two were spotted having a romantic getaway in Saint Tropez where I guess they went on some manner of boat. So yet another one of my girlfriends is in Seattle visiting me -- I am just a revolving door of visitors -- and we decided to go to this really fancy seafood place since she's moving to an Asian country in like two weeks and wants to get her fill of American-style food before then. We decided to sp...

Meet Chris Federline

As we all recall, in the exciting days after Britney Spears settled down with Kevin Federline, the most-asked question from the lips of America's women was "Does he have a brother?" No, I'm totally kidding. The most-asked question was probably "Does he have chlamidia?" Certainly, the last thing we all expected was to eventually be relieved when this man took sole custody of the couple's two children. The universe is an unpredictable little mass, my friends. Anyway. Kevin Federline does...

Paris Hilton Is Unstoppable

She just won't quit. Paris Hilton was in Las Vegas on Tuesday to launch her new line of shoes for Macy's. You can check out the full collection here. Ugh. I would like to talk shit about this line, and there are certainly some items you'd never ever catch me wearing -- even if I were a stripper -- but there are also some good basic shoes in there at a reasonable price. Okay, I mean, I shouldn't get ahead of myself here. There are like five or six pairs of shoes in this line that I...

Not Broken Up!

Sadness upon sadness! I was SO SURE that after Isabel Lucas was caught in a car with a drunken Shia LaBeouf at 3 am on a Sunday morning, Adrian Grenier would dump her ass. But no! The two were spotted having lunch together at Urth Cafe in WeHo on Tuesday. What the hell is she wearing? This looks like something my five-year-old cousin would throw together. If you left her alone in a Salvation Army store. After putting LSD in her Cheerios. ...

She’s #1! She’s #1!

It seems all the racy photo shoots -- professional or not -- have done little to hinder Miley Cyrus's burgeoning career as the next teen queen. Her debut solo album (as Miley Cyrus and not Hannah Montana) is #1 on the charts this week, selling 371,000. It's the second-best week for a female artist so far this year (Mariah Carey's E=MC2 did relatively better with 463,000 copies). So congratulations, Miley. I couldn't be more pleased to have you and your unapologetic YouTube cattiness on the s...

The Sisterhood of the The Traveling Lohans

So ... why exactly did Dina Lohan leave the after-party for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 premiere in a huff? Depends on who you believe. Most people say that Dina, drunk as hell, threw a fit when she, Ali and a friend of Ali's sat down at a reserved table and were later asked to move by a staffer. Dina "went apeshit," says a source. "It so wasn't cool." Dina was then asked to leave the event. However, in an email to Mark Malkin, Dina says she left voluntarily because the staff...

Shia LaBeouf Actually Made a Good Decision

I know, I know. It's all Shia all the time this week. We could move on to something else if somebody would just plant a tiny bag of heroin on Miley Cyrus and make an anonymous phone call to the LAPD. Hell, I'd do it my damn self if I still lived in LA. Selena Gomez, if you're reading this: I will pay you back for the heroin if you want to jump on this idea. Anywho, Access Hollywood has been stalking anyone who was even remotely involved in Sunday's DU-Shi incident, and they found some eyewit...

Jennifer Lopez is Going Back to Work!

Question: How much did you guys miss seeing Jennifer Lopez on the big screen? a) OMG so much! b) Not at all. c) She used to do movies? I guess raising children wasn't quite as fulfilling as Mrs. Marc Anthony hoped it would be, as she's signed on to do the romantic comedy The Governess. Or maybe she likes the kids just fine, but she's looking for any excuse to get away from her Crypt-Keeper husband for as much time as possible. Here's the plot: Story centers on a professional thief who, in...

Jon Voight Has (Stupid) Opinions

Is there anything more wonderful than when totally unqualified celebrities weigh in on matter that are actually important? Jon "Angelina's Dad" Voight may not be able to have a relationship with any of his six grandchildren, because of what a psychopath he's been toward Angelina in the past, but that's not going to stop him from spewing vile political nonsense in the Op-Ed pages of the Washington Post. I don't talk politics on this site a lot, because I'm probably more informed about the exact...