Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lil’ Kim Birthday Killer Arrested!

Unfortunately, it turns out that Lil' Kim didn't go on a jealous rampage and kill a woman attending her recent birthday party in a Times Square club. Police have arrested a man who confessed to the killing. Sources said Rahman Syed, 24, a bartender's assistant, admitted that he killed Ingrid Rivera, 24, of Richmond Hill, who had been kicked out of the party at Spotlight Live on Broadway for being drunk, sources said. Rivera's body was found in a deserted area on the roof. Investigators said she led her to the roof, after telling her to "come take...

Kate Moss Agrees to Spend Time with Her Daughter as a Birthday Present for the Nanny

So I'm telling my mom the other day about my grand scheme for child-rearing. I'm going to have a baby, keep the baby until it's eight or nine or so -- whenever they develop their own personalities and start asserting themselves -- and then I'm going to send this child to boarding school and not deal with it until it's an adult and prepared to make some sense. Because if my own child is anything like I was when I was a teenager, I want nothing to do with him or her. It'll just make my own mother ...

Um, Some Chick Got Murdered at Lil’ Kim’s Birthday Party

The body of Ingrid Rivera, who was last seen on Sunday night, attending Lil' Kim's birthday party at the Spotlight Live club in Times Square, was found on the roof of the building where the party took place. The woman suffered massive head injuries, among others. Um ... Wow. The worst thing that ever happened at one of my birthday parties was when someone made me do a shot of Three Wise Men. That's Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo and Jim Beam. Which is pretty much equivalent to suffering massive head injuries, but the difference is you're still alive the nex...

A Dixie Chick Divorce

Marriage doesn't work for anybody ever so just don't bother. Dixie Chick Emily Robison and her husband, singer Charlie Robison, have divorced. The divorce filing states their marriage had "become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities." They've been married nearly ten years and have three children. See, this is why pets are good. Pets will not divorce you nor create discord. Right now my cat Max and my dog Leo are having an epic battle which has, at this point, involved every r...

Miley Cyrus Finally Fesses Up to Dating Nick Jonas

After years of denials, Miley Cyrus has finally admitted that she did, in fact, date Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers. "We became boyfriend and girlfriend the day we met," Miley says in the September issue of Seventeen Magazine. "He was on a quest to meet me, and he was like, 'I think you're beautiful and I really like you.' And I was like, 'Oh, my gosh, I like you so much.'" "Nick and I loved each other," she says now. "We still do, but we were in love with each other. For two years he was basically my 24/7. B...

Will John Edwards Deny He Has a Secret Child?

If you live in America, you've no doubt heard of the recent National Enquirer story alleging that hot-shot politician John Edwards had a secret affair which produced a secret child. They even have pictures! However, thus far, the mainstream media has not muttered a word about the scandal, since the Enquirer story is anonymously sourced with no hard evidence. But with the Democratic National Convention coming up, and Edwards likely to speak at the event, the issue is looming larger, particularly s...

Suri Cruise Is Adorable

She is not as cute as Shiloh, IMHO, who is destined to be The Most Beautiful Human in the History of the Species, but she's still pretty darned cute, especially in that little dress and gold slippers. If only Katie could wear something that cute! Is it just me, or is Katie slowly becoming, like, the long-lost Olsen triplet? Fraternal triplet, of course. But still. My mom left town this afternoon, after a visit that may have lasted a couple of days too long. I love my mother, and, when I...

Shia LaBeouf May Be Losing His Pinky Finger

Star magazine is reporting that Shia LaBeouf's hand may be so badly injured that they have to amputate his pinky finger. "Shia called producers yesterday and told them," the source on the set in Alamogordo, N.M. says. "It's really thrown the movie into turmoil." I thought about this for awhile, feeling really bad for him, and then I was like, "What do I really use my pinky finger for anyway?" I mean, typing, obviously, and then on occasion to demonstrate visually the penis size of men who h...