Expect slow news for the next couple of weeks, as nobody wants to compete with the Olympics for attention. So we'll have as many photos of Michael Phelps' pubic line as possible, a bunch of fall-out from the John Edwards scandal and pictures of celebrities shopping.
Here's Britney Spears leaving Lisa Kline. ...
Now she's just fucking with us.
She sits at home in her cage at night like "How can I take ugly jeans to the next level?"
It's the only hobby she has left, you guys. Tom won't even let her watch reruns of Dawson's Creek anymore. So maybe we should go easy on her.
Nah.
[gallery]...
Very, very sad news.
Bernie Mac has died of pneumonia at the age of 50.
"Actor/comedian Bernie Mac passed away this morning from complications due to pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital," his publicist, Danica Smith, said in a statement from Los Angeles.
No other details were available.
You'll be missed, buddy.
...
Here's Jessica Simpson singing her little country ass off at the Indiana State Fair.
If you look closely, you can actually see her ass cheek. See?
I tried to find a shot that was a full-on crotch shot, but there wasn't one. Clearly the photogs weren't trying hard enough. I'm sure it could have been done if they'd put some effort into it. What a wasted opportunity! This is what happens when you play shows in Indiana; none of the good photographers show up. In LA, we would have at least gotte...
This first part of this should be getting a boyfriend who doesn't kick her ass.
Angie's boyfriend was arrested on Thursday for beating her up and leaving her with minor injuries.
"There was an incident involving Angie Everhart and her boyfriend," said Los Angeles Sheriff's Department spokesman Sgt. Scott Wolf. You know, I realized Scott's performing career hadn't exactly sky-rocketed since Party of Five wrapped, but I was pretty shocked to find out he was working for the LAPD. Aren't you at least suppos...
"I lived in New York a long time. I love your paper."
Kip Hunter, the former husband of Rielle Hunter, with whom John Edwards just admitted to having an affair. This was the only quote he would give to the New York Post when they called to chat with him. I think that's awesome.
Rielle has a long and distinguished history as a party girl. In fact, she dated playboy author Jay McInerney for a few months, and he was so "intrigued and appalled" by the behavior of her and her friends that he...
The only question I have is: Why is this only just now happening?
I can't believe that "Paris for President" shirts haven't been around for ages.
But better late than never!
Paris is rushing a line of "Paris for President" T-shirts into Kitson after her video rebuttal to McCain's campaign ad became an Internet sensation.
Paris's rep says the venture isn't only for profit. "It will have a charity aspect," he says.
Hopefully that charity aspect will be to fund a new publicist for...
Carl Blonsky was denied bail today by a judge in Turks and Caicos, who cited him as a flight risk due to his status as a foreigner.
He's stuck in jail until his August 19th trial, as a result of beating Bianca Golden's mother to a bloody pulp during a stupid argument in the airport.
Listen up, people. If you're going to beat up a defenseless old woman over some stupid disagreement, do it in the DMV. That way, people will understand. The airport is stressful, yes, but not stressful enough to warrant beating up an old lady who's not, like, pointing a gun at you. But at the DMV? We get it. ...
I love doing these contests, mostly because your responses are always some of the funniest shit that ever hits my inbox. You guys hit it out of the ballpark with this one.
The challenge was to complete the following sentence:
Jesus is sexy because ______________ .
The the winners are:
Grand Prize Winner (gets Sexy Jesus T-shirt and doll):
Diana C: "Jesus is sexy because he's the only man who could even promise a second coming."
Runners-Up (get Sexy Jesus poster and bumper sticker): ...
There was talk of Britney Spears getting a "do-over" performance at the 2008 VMAs, but since her 2007 performance resulted in three public hangings and an invite-only beheading at MTV's New York City offices, it looks like the staff thought better of it. Britney will not perform live on the VMAs. Instead, she recorded a promo clip with the host, Russell Brand. (Can't figure out where you know Russell Brand from? He was the crazy rock star dude in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.)
The spot apparently pokes...
Okay, so here's like, my biggest pet peeve in the world. I call the cable company to ask a question. Before I can talk to a human being, I'm asked to key in my telephone number. I do this. Then a human being answers, and asks me for my telephone number. I give it to her. Then this human being asks me for my name, address and account number. I tell her. Then she asks me what I need. I tell her. Then she's like, "Oh, okay, I'm gonna have to pass you along to XYZ Dept." And I'm like "Okay." So then ...
It's opening night of the Olympics, and it also happens to be a lovely, summer Friday night that the country can't wait to get out and enjoy.
What a politician to do?
Why, admit to cheating on his wife, of course.
Former U.S. senator and Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards admitted to an extramarital affair in an interview with ABC News, the network reported Friday. He denied being the father of the woman's child, as had been alleged in tabloid reports.
Speaking to the network...