This is the conversation that New Kid on the Block Donnie Wahlberg and his wife, Kim Fey, have been having every day for the past year.
WIFE: Let me get this straight. Just so we're clear. What you're going to do is spend the next two years traveling the country in a humiliating effort to revive a career that died definitively twenty years ago?
DONNIE: Yes.
WIFE: And you are aware that we have two children at home? That I will have to raise alone while you are fucking a 38-year-old forme...
OMG.
It's like, if you sat down to write the worst song ever, you probably couldn't come up with anything even remotely as bad as this.
Heidi's put out some pretty sub-par material in her quest for success on the charts, but this is a new low. It gives you a whole new appreciation for the brilliant material we see from the likes of Ali Lohan and Ashlee Simpson. I don't know that I've ever heard a worse song in my life. And I'm counting, like, the little ditties my five-year-old cousin makes up about her shoes and her dolls and her boogers. Those songs are better than this one. It's an aptly named song, in that it makes you want to reach for a needle. Anything to block out the memory of this godawful song. Listen at your own risk. />
OMG.
It's like, if you sat down to write the worst song ever, you probably couldn't come up with anything even remotely as bad as this.
Heidi's put out some pretty sub-par material in her quest for success on the charts, but this is a new low. It gives you a whole new appreciation for the brilliant material we see from the likes of Ali Lohan and Ashlee Simpson. I don't know that I've ever heard a worse song in my life. And I'm counting, like, the little ditties my five-year-old cousin ...
Late last night, my beautiful beloved laptop made the inevitable transition from moribund to just plain dead when I accidentally spilled half a glass of water on it. I took it apart, dried it out, and put it back together, but it was still doing things like adjusting screen brightness while I was trying to type an email. In fact, the entire keyboard was basically useless. When I pressed buttons, it didn't result in letters appearing on the screen. I tried explaining this to the guy at Dell Tech Support, and he was like, "Ma'am, please go online and type in the following web address so that I can take control of your computer and isolate the problem," and I'm like, "What part of 'the keyboard doesn't work' are you having trouble translating into Hindi?"
Its time had come. I put it to sleep, shed a tear, then headed to Best Buy to get a new one.
These things happen in threes, people. Please take good care of your laptops and make sure they know how much you love them. It could happen to you.
Anyway, I'm super excited now because my new laptop works super fast, the way my computers work before they have the 18,000 viruses on them acquired when your line of work insists that you download sex tapes every other week.
I'm going to take a little bit of time to try to get my software installed and then we'll be back to the gossip. Thanks for your patience! />Late last night, my beautiful beloved laptop made the inevitable transition from moribund to just plain dead when I accidentally spilled half a glass of water on it. I took it apart, dried it out, and put it back together, but it was still doing things like adjusting screen brightness while I was trying to type an email. In fact, the entire keyboard was basically useless. When I pressed buttons, it didn't result in letters appearing on the screen. I tried explaining this to the guy at Dell Tech Support,...
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"I think I've figured out Michael Phelps. He's not from another planet. He from the future. His father made him and made a time machine. Sixty years from now he's just an average swimmer. But he has come back to this time to mop up."
British swimmer Simon Burnett, on Michael Phelps. ...
"He's just a normal person. But he is maybe from a different planet. A planet from a different galaxy."
Russian swimmer Alexander Sukhorukov, on Michael Phelps....
At this weekend's Hot in Hollywood bash, TR Knight showed up with his nearly underage boyfriend, Mark Cornelsen, and Tila Tequila dragged along Courtenay "Least Photogenic" Semel. Seriously, poor Courtenay never takes a good picture. I mean, I'm not the most photogenic person on the planet, either, but I'm not showing up on red carpets every day standing next to one of the most photogenic people on the planet. I hope she gives head better than she gives face. For Tila's sake. I mean, I assume Courtenay is flaunting this new relationship to get back at Lindsay...
Some people will do anything for a book deal. Up now: 35-year-old Robyn Okran, who is dedicating a year to doing everything Oprah says to do, to see if it will actually improve her quality of life. Right now she's blogging about it on livingoprah.com, but you'd better believe she's looking to get a book deal out of this shit. Because she's not running any ads on her website, and nobody in their right mind would do this for free.
Ms. Okrant, a yoga teacher who recently completed an M.F.A. in ...
Whether or not she'll remember it is a different story, but Amy Winehouse has so far survived two days of performing at the V Festival in England this weekend.
She's managing to hold a guitar and not fall down.
Very impressive!...
Jessica Alba may not have been interested in showing off the weight she gained during her pregnancy, but she doesn't seem to have any problem making a huge show of those pregnancy titties at the ALMA awards in Pasadena on Friday.
Other attendees included Eva Longoria and Tony Parker, Ashley Tisdale, David Henrie, Selena Gomez, America Ferrera, Daisy Fuentes, Judy Reyes and Edward James Olmos.
There are a ton more photos after the jump.
Read More...
Audrina Patridge hosted an evening at Christian Audigier's night club in Vegas this weekend, and brought along her new flame, BMX-er Corey Bohan, and then proceeded to molest him in front of the cameras all night.
What do we think?
Upgrade or downgrade?
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