Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay Lohan Is Done with the Drama

La Lohan has a new interview in the October issue of Marie Claire, and, if the teaser on their website is to be believed, it's quite a departure from her past interviews. Lindsay speaks with a new-found maturity and appreciation for the impact of her actions. She understands what it does to an entire movie set when she shows up acting like a bitch. She understands what a terrible influence her father is ("We've gone through enough with him. Enough is enough."), she's done living in hotels...

Ernest Borgnine Reveals Secret to Looking Good in Old Age

Watch it all the way to the end. If this doesn't start your day off with a smile ... well then fuck off and go to CuteOverload.com, okay? I try my best. Ernest Borgnine talking about masturbation is the closest thing we get to cute around here. This clip is additionally notable because it was sent to me by my mother, under the subject line "celebrity gossip." Of course I'm expecting, like, some interview with Paris Hilton or the like. And then I realize that Ernest Borgnine is my mother's idea of a celebrity, and an old man's admission that he masturbates regularly is my mother's idea of gossip. I love you, Mom. You're cute. /> Watch it all the way to the end. If this doesn't start your day off with a smile ... well then fuck off and go to CuteOverload.com, okay? I try my best. Ernest Borgnine talking about masturbation is the closest thing we get to cute around here. This clip is additionally notable because it was sent to me by my mother, under the subject line "celebrity gossip." Of course I'm expecting, like, some interview with Paris Hilton or the like. And then I realize that Ernest Borgnine is my mother's i...

Healthy!

Who would've thought we'd ever see the day? Mary-Kate Olsen and Nicole Richie, both smiling for a photograph, and neither looking like they might blow over if somebody sneezes. MK's little rat-tail braid? Is another story. But, in general, they both look great, and really healthy, and that's great to see. I was tired of trying to decide which of them to put more money on in the company's bi-monthly Death Pool. Now everything just goes to Amy Winehouse. At the Proenza Schouler sh...

Still Going Strong!

Ugh, sorry I've been gone all day, you guys. It's been a busy day. The good news: I am actually getting a refund on my 2007 taxes! Plus that $600 economic stimulation thingy. Yes, you read that right. My 2007 taxes. Which just got finished today. Sigh. Like I said, long day. The bad news: So, I wanted to make this absence up to you guys by watching the Verne Troyer sex tape and giving you all a full report. So I shelled out the $9.95 for a membership (hey, it's tax-deductible for me!)...