Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Happy Almost Turkey Day!

pumpkin_pooping My father sends me an email about four times a year. He has fully embraced texting, oddly enough, but this newfangled Internet contraption is still not really his thing. On the other hand, my mother belongs to like 8000 Google groups and probably sends more emails daily than I do, but she refuses to use text messaging. ("Don't send me one of those things! It costs money!") Parents are really a laugh a minute. The point is, when I see an email from my father, I always know it's going to be g...

You Guys, I Found a Semi-Bad Photo of Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman's Only Bad Photo Ever I genuinely didn't think it was possible. Literally the way I found it was by obsessively going through like 50 photos of her at the press call for her new movie, Brothers, thinking to myself, "I wonder if any of these photos of her are bad. Can Natalie Portman take a bad photo? It may not be physically possible." And then I stumbled on this one and I was like, "Oh, okay, that's a kind of bad photo." Don't worry, though, all the rest of them in the gallery below are freakin' perfect. Sigh. [...

Adam Lambert: “For Your Entertainment” Video

Here it is, kids! After watching the entire thing, I'm mostly disappointed that nobody simulated oral sex. In seriousness, though, this is going to be a rough and fascinating road. I've heard the whole album -- I've been listening to it for a week, actually -- and it's brilliant. But this country's never really had an openly gay pop star, and Adam is making calculated choices to push the door wide open; he's being a flamboyant openly gay pop star, so that people can come in later and be milder openly gay pop stars and take considerably less heat for it. He's going to make unpopular and perhaps even uncouth decisions, and he's going to take unending amounts of shit for it, and it's going to be a rocky road. Thus far -- and it's early still -- he's maneuvered through it with a lot of grace. But make no mistake about it -- he's made a conscious decision to put himself way, way out there as a target, so this country can exhaust its "righteous" ammo on him and, in the future, be more comfortable with a gay pop star who, perhaps, doesn't thrust his backup dancer's face against his penis on live national television. It takes a hell of a lot of guts to do that, to put yourself out there as that person and to take that heat day in and day out, but I have a feeling it will be worth it in the end. Thank you, Adam. /> Here it is, kids! After watching the entire thing, I'm mostly disappointed that nobody simulated oral sex. In seriousness, though, this is going to be a rough and fascinating road. I've heard the whole album -- I've been listening to it for a week, actually -- and it's brilliant. But this country's never really had an openly gay pop star, and Adam is making calculated choices to push the door wide open; he's being a flamboyant openly gay pop star, so that people can come in later and be mild...

Jon and Kate Plus COMPLETE AND TOTAL SOBRIETY

Sorry, y'all, I didn't mean for this to be J&K day around here, but I posted on my Twitter and my Facebook about my thoughts when I finally watched (part of) the Jon & Kate Plus Eight finale from Monday night, and I got a billion responses like "You better put that clip on your website!" So, here it is. I mean, is it slander to say Jon Gosselin is on a shitload of cocaine during this interview when it's clearly the truth? It would be funny if it weren't so damn sad. I like the part around 4:15 where he's twitching and rambling about how he stupidly moved to the Upper West Side when everyone knows the best blow is on the Lower East Side, and that's a mistake he certainly won't make again. But it's nice that he can escape to his "country house." I get that he and TLC are at war right now, but that's not a very good reason to show up to his final interview snowplowed out of his gourd. That's just like biting off your nose to spite your face. He's gonna have to live with this for the rest of his life, and so are his children. The whole thing is totally hilarious and worth a viewing if you can just push out of your mind the reality that this man is a father of eight. /> Sorry, y'all, I didn't mean for this to be J&K day around here, but I posted on my Twitter and my Facebook about my thoughts when I finally watched (part of) the Jon & Kate Plus Eight finale from Monday night, and I got a billion responses like "You better put that clip on your website!" So, here it is. I mean, is it slander to say Jon Gosselin is on a shitload of cocaine during this interview when it's clearly the truth? It would be funny if it weren't so damn sad. I like the part around ...

Claire Danes: Still Alive

58999240orson_welles-1124200923117AM Her so-called acting career may be largely a thing of the past, but at least her body is bangin'. Claire Danes and some ass-kicking thighs showed up to the NYC screening of her new film Me and Orson Welles last night, and I have to admit this is the best I've seen her look in years. To be frank, I liked her best with bright orange hair and a be-flanneled, eyeliner-free Jordan Catalano, but I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that we will never again get Jared Leto out of makeup. Als...

I Feel Like Lady Gaga Hates Her Own Face

17058083lady_gaga-bestbuy1124200922158AM Is it just me or has anyone else noticed this? Like, we never, ever get a really good look at Lady Gaga's face. There is always something covering it. We can stare into her inner thighs day after day like Michelangelo painted cherubs over her stray pubic hairs, but we can't ever just see her face. I know I sound like her doddering grandmother right now, but I really wish that, just once, she could show up and try to be pretty for once. Here's Gaga reppin' at some random event involving Best...

Kate Gosselin Gets Primary Custody of the Kids

Jon Gosselin You guys, I think the Gosselin limelight may be fading. Kate Gosselin was awarded primary custody of her children today, and it wasn't immediately, like, announced in Times Square. No one seems to care, really. In fact, the final episode of Jon & Kate Plus Eight aired tonight, and it's being replaced with Cake Boss, which is, incidentally, one of the worst reality TV shows I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing. Does that crapfest get ratings? Like, it's a bunch of New Jersey Italians bickering abou...

Celebrating 100 Million Video Downloads with RealPlayer SP!

For those of you who don't know, this little gossip blog is largely funded by the fantastic folks over at RealNetworks. Scoff all you want, but Wendie and Molly and Kelly and I -- as well as the women of Zelda Lily and Lilly Likes -- wouldn't be here for you to scoff at daily if it weren't for their unwavering support of our website and of my personal sanity, day in and day out. This company has been nothing but amazing to me, and they have supported every bizarre and non-traditional creative decision I've insisted on making. I have no problem selling out to the man if it means I get to run a gossip blog for a living and employ other phenomenally talented women who deserve to be paid to write. This was a really exciting week at RealNetworks, as users of our flagship product, RealPlayer SP, used it for 100 million video downloads in less than six months. That's a huge number; it took YouTube 17 months to get 100 million video views. We've been really excited (and there have been a lot of free cookies), and Lacy Kemp and Oona Rokyta, two of our amazing PR girls (and my friends) made a video to celebrate. I make a fun little cameo around the 0:37 mark, and at 0:29 you might recognize another coworker and friend of mine: the beautiful and uber-gangsta Chelsia Hart from Big Brother. Enjoy! /> For those of you who don't know, this little gossip blog is largely funded by the fantastic folks over at RealNetworks. Scoff all you want, but Wendie and Molly and Kelly and I -- as well as the women of Zelda Lily and Lilly Likes -- wouldn't be here for you to scoff at daily if it weren't for their unwavering support of our website and of my personal sanity, day in and day out. This company has been nothing but amazing to me, and they have supported every bizarre and non-traditional creative ...

Congratulations to the Winner of Our Proposal Contest!

6a010536c12963970b0115713af77b970b-pi-500x281 Remember like a billion years ago when we asked you guys to send us your very best proposal stories to win a trip to Las Vegas or Napa? It was a contest we were running to celebrate the release of The Proposal on DVD, but it didn't feel like work -- we had such a fantastic time reading all the entries and laughing our asses off. I don't think we got even a single entry that wasn't either funny or interesting or just bizarre. We're a little late on announcing the winner; the process got ...

And While We’re Talking About Women Who Embrace Their Sexuality …

Ice-T and Coco at JM Magazine Launch Party at La Pomme Pictures Photos Have I mentioned how much I love Coco? Love her, love her, love her. I love how she seems to have a rock solid relationship with Ice-T, and how he's totally okay with her running around public events wearing what basically amounts to a washcloth and heels. Because that's what she does, and he gets it, and at the end of the day she's going home with him. I don't know why but I just have this sense that they have a really true-love relationship, and I just adore how she never quits rocking those curves. ...

Megan Fox New York Times Photoshoot Outtakes “Leak”

Megan Fox New York Times Outtakes Ice Skating Leotard Leg in the Air Pictures Photos Wait, I don't understand. Why didn't they just use this photo? How is this an outtake? Some unused shots from Megan's photo shoot for her NYT magazine pics "accidentally" hit the Internet, a phenomenon that occurs more often with Megan Fox than with any starlet ever before her. Megan Fox's team needs to do a better job of keeping a lid on her hyper-sexualized photo outtakes or they're just going to keep causing a sensation on the Internet over and over and over again. And nobody wants that, right? ...