Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Hef’s Harem Gets a Third!

Crystal Harris In addition to The Shannon Twins, Hugh Hefner's Pussy Squad has added Crystal Harris, a 22-year-old student at San Diego State University. Crystal introduced herself on an E! online message board over the holidays, telling fans that "Hef gave me permission to fill people in on the new updates as a voice from the mansion." No other girlfriends are in the mix at this time, she says, but "there are a couple that we have interest in. ... As for now, it is just us three." I love it. "A couple t...

Michael Phelps Can’t Fit in a Mazda, But He’s Gonna Help Sell It

michael phelps When I read that Michael Phelps would be traveling to China as part of a seven-figure deal to endorse the new Mazda 6 model in a series of ad campaigns and personal appearances, I just had this sudden influx of mental images of Michael Phelps and his size-fourteen penis cramped into a little Miata. Heh. But it's looking like it could be the largest single sponsorship deal for a Western celebrity in China's history. And you people can say what you want about Michael Phelps, but, twenty y...

Model Suing Google to Find Out Who Talked Shit About Her

196129233m Heh. This is kind of interesting story: A Vogue cover girl is suing Google in an attempt to unmask the blogger who trashed her as a "skank" and an "old hag." Liskula Cohen, a blond beauty who has modeled for Giorgio Armani and Versace, made headlines last year when a doorman at a Manhattan hot spot was jailed after smashing her in the face with a vodka bottle. Now she wants to force Google to reveal who slammed her online as the "#1 skanky superstar" on a blog hosted by the search engine's subsidiary....

How Can This NOT Be a Gigantic Hit???

Here's a lovely clip of Sanjaya Malakar performing his new song "A Quintessential Lullaby" in what I can only assume is the Build-a-Bear store of some mall in Renton or some shit. Sanjaya's new album, Dancing to the Music in My Head, comes out January 20, and you can preview some more of the tracks here. I'm hoping the album cover is a photo of the back of Sanjaya's head, his hair braided out to spell the word "FAIL," because that's what this shit is gonna be. /> Here's a lovely clip of Sanjaya Malakar performing his new song "A Quintessential Lullaby" in what I can only assume is the Build-a-Bear store of some mall in Renton or some shit. Sanjaya's new album, Dancing to the Music in My Head, comes out January 20, and you can preview some more of the tracks here. I'm hoping the album cover is a photo of the back of Sanjaya's head, his hair braided out to spell the word "FAIL," because that's what this shit is gonna be. ...

Yes Of Course Coolio Had Orgies When He Was 12

Sigh. This is what happens when you relegate washed-up American rapper to a UK reality show. Coolio is talking to his Big Brother housemates about having threesomes with Indonesian girls when he was 12. He says he didn't really penetrate, though, because he didn't know how to put it in. Video is here. />...

Steve Jobs Discusses Mystery Weight-Loss Illness

steve-jobs-weight-loss-hormone-imbalance We don't really pay much attention to the way Apple CEO Steve Jobs looks here on this blog. ("This particular black cotton turtleneck doesn't really do much for the ill-fitted jeans, now does it? Fortunately for Mr. Jobs, he's a super-genius who could buy the whole country, and he could wear a chicken suit doing it, and you couldn't stop him. Know why? Because there are missiles inside the chicken suit and they are currently aimed at every Fred Segal in the continental United States (with ju...

First Day of School!

Sasha and Malia Obama's First Day of School Now this is smart Presidential parenting. To calm the flurry of paparazzi looking to get a shot of the Obama girls' first day of school, President-elect Obama actually took the damn photos himself -- as the girls prepared to leave for school -- and released them right away. On Flickr. In fact, there's an entire Flickr photostream called "Obama-Biden Transition Project" where you can check out snapshots of damn near every step the President-elect takes as he prepares to govern this natio...

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ross McCall End Engagement!

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ross McCall Pictures Photos Woah! I totally didn't see this one coming. I mean, this dude stuck with JLove through Fatgate and everything, and now that she's all skinny again they're over? It looks like they broke up and called off their engagement over the holidays, after being engaged for just over a year and dating for two previous years. I wonder who called it off? And why??? A source says that "Even their friends are surprised; they seemed really happy." Was she like, "Dude, I'm way hot again. I'm gonna see if I can still na...

Lindsay Lohan DENIES Break-Up Rumors

Puss 'N Boots -- the new Lohan nickname, as suggested by you guys -- took to her MySpace to assure that world that she was still very much all about puss:
RUMORS Monday, January 05, 2008 little piece of TRUE information: we did NOT break up! access hollywood, extra, et, every tabloid, page six... AND every GOSSIP website. Get your stories straight please. It's really annoying to have all of your friends emailing you saying, i saw, i read, etc... NOT TRUE :) xoxox Lindsay Currently listening : Rumors By Lindsay Lohan Release date: By 2005-01-11
In honor of Puss's "Currently listening" track, above you'll find her music video for "Rumors." /> Puss 'N Boots -- the new Lohan nickname, as suggested by you guys -- took to her MySpace to assure that world that she was still very much all about puss: RUMORS Monday, January 05, 2008 little piece of TRUE information: we did NOT break up! access hollywood, extra, et, every tabloid, page six... AND every GOSSIP website. Get your stories straight please. It's really annoying to have all of your friends emailing you saying, i saw, i read, etc... NOT TRUE :) xoxox Lindsay Curren...

Hi I’m Back and I Brought You the Sharon Osbourne Fight Scene

Hi guys. Funny thing. I was flying home today and I had the silly notion that I'd be able to work in Sky Harbor Airport in Phoenix while waiting for my flight, because they have a free wireless connection there. Unfortunately, their free wireless connection blocks Evil Beet. Heh. So I'm sorry that not much went up this afternoon. But I am now safely back in Seattle, and so very delighted to have my whiny, whiny cats back in my face at all times, and before I take a bath and try to get my life refocused, I thought I'd bring you guys this lovely gem from Sharon Osbourne's Charm School. This is the fight that eventually lead to that blonde chick pressing assault charges on Sharon. I wish we had more footage from inside the actual hair-pulling fight. Still: Pretty awesome. />MTV Shows Hi guys. Funny thing. I was flying home today and I had the silly notion that I'd be able to work in Sky Harbor Airport in Phoenix while waiting for my flight, because they have a free wireless connection there. Unfortunately, their free wireless connection blocks Evil Beet. Heh. So I'm sorry that not much went up this afternoon. But I am now safely back in Seattle, and so very delighted to have my whiny, whiny cats back in my face at all times, and before I take a bath and ...