Oh thank GOD! I have some mathematical truisms I would like to share with you guys. I do, after all, have a degree in engineering that my father keeps asking me why I'm not using. I AM GOING TO USE IT NOW. Check out my math skillz: Sculpted beard + aviators = good Oh thank GOD! I have some mathematical truisms I would like to share with you guys. I do, after all, have a degree in engineering that my father keeps asking me why I'm not using. I AM GOING TO USE IT NOW. Check out my math skillz: Sculpted beard + aviators = good Sculpted beard - aviators = bad Trashy chick with Michael Phelps + large ocean + me = mysterious unsolved disappearance That is the end of today's math lesson, kids. Stay tuned for tomorrow when we'll discu...

Ahem. Total. Awesomeness. In a bizarre incident that will surely lead to litigation (or an out-of-court settlement), a skier at Colorado's ritzy Vail resort was left dangling upside down and pantsless from a chairlift last Thursday morning. The January 1 mishap apparently occurred after the male skier, 48, and a child boarded a high-speed lift in Vail's Blue Sky Basin. It appears that the chairlift's fold-down seat was somehow not in the lowered position, which caused the man to part...

Hey kids!!! While the rest of the economy is kind of tanking, we're still doing pretty good around here, and that's in large part due to the awesomeness of you readers. Thank you for your loyalty and your e-friendship. You guys make my day, every day. I know that you guys want to see more frequent posting, and I can appreciate that. I want to do everything I can do accommodate that, but it's tricky because I'm a one-man show during the weekdays, and this job isn't actually as easy as it looks. So, in the next month or so, Wendie is going to start helping me out during the weekdays -- no, I am not leaving, you'll just get more frequent updates from Evil Beet Gossip in general during the week. As such, we're looking to hire a weekend writer again. This is a PAID position. The requirements haven't changed: - Weekend availability - Comprehensive knowledge of and love for celebrity gossip - Strong, well-developed, unique writing voice - Impeccable spelling and grammar - computer know-how (you don’t have to be a genius, but you need to know your way around a computer and be able to use some basic image editing software) - You must be at least 18 years old - You must either have a mailing address in the U.S. or able to accept payment via PayPal If you applied last time, please feel free to apply again. You will not be penalized for using the same writing samples, although you are, of course, welcome to change them up. If you have a blog, please send me the link to it, even if it's not about celebrity gossip. I definitely found going through applications last time that I gave priority to the people who submitted their blogs -- it's just the best way for me to see how you write for an Internet audience. If you don't have a blog, or if you feel your blog isn't a complete representation of your writing, please send along writing samples. Again, the samples can be about anything, but obviously I'm looking for something that shows off your voice and sense of humor. Applications should be sent to evilbeet@gmail.com with the subject line "EB Job Application." If you send it with a different subject line it will probably not get looked at. Deadline is 5 pm PST on Monday, January 13. />Hey kids!!! While the rest of the economy is kind of tanking, we're still doing pretty good around here, and that's in large part due to the awesomeness of you readers. Thank you for your loyalty and your e-friendship. You guys make my day, every day. I know that you guys want to see more frequent posting, and I can appreciate that. I want to do everything I can do accommodate that, but it's tricky because I'm a one-man show during the weekdays, and this job isn't actually as easy as it looks....

We were contacted by some folks who are developing a line of T-shirts for Big Rob, that gigantic dude who used to be the bodyguard for Britney Spears and is now the bodyguard for the Jonas Brothers. Apparently the guy has a catch phrase, and it is -- you ready for this? -- "Suuupp?!!" And they're making a line of T-shirts with this phrase on the front and "BIG ROB'S 4 REAL" on the back, and I thought to myself, "If there's anyone who needs these T-shirts, it is my readers." No, that's...