Today's Evil Beet Gossip

What’s the Deal with Mall Cops?

paul_blart Okay, so, first off, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, lands the top place at the box office. This may or may not have been a result of legions of thirteen-year-olds buying Paul Blart tix so they could sneak into the R-rated Notorious, but Fox cable doesn't seem to care. They are all about underestimating the intelligence of our nation, and they've green-lit a new series about -- what else? -- a mall cop. The show is called Walorsky, and it "follows the exploits of an ex-cop who now patrols a shopping ma...

Linda Hogan Sucking Face with Her Teenage Boyfriend in Front of Her Son

Linda Hogan and Boyfriend Charlie Hill at Sundance Pictures Photos I guess after spending a few months in solitary confinement in the slammer, not a lot of things in the free world bother you. Case in point: Nick Bollea was not phased by his middle-aged mother sucking face with her 19-year-old boyfriend, Charlie Hill, right next to him at Sundance. Linda's jailbird son Nick also attended the festival and seemed to have no problem with his mama consistently making out with (not to mention canoodling intimately with) her boyfriend who was actually his high s...

Women: Our Orgasms Are Smarter Than Men’s, Too

Wow. A study of women in China reveals that women report having more orgasms when the men they are married to are richer.
This result cannot be explained by possible confounds such as women's age, health, happiness, educational attainment, relationship duration, wealth difference between the partners, difference between the partners in educational attainment, and regional location. It appears consistent with the view that female orgasm has an evolved adaptive function.
Let me reiterate: The female orgasm has an evolved adaptive function. Meaning our orgasms know it's go time when the dudes we're with have money. Suck in that sperm, pop out that baby, lock down that cash for us and our kiddo. Dudes will just rub one out into a goat if you'll let 'em. Women are soooo much more sophisticated. Thanks Ines! />Wow. A study of women in China reveals that women report having more orgasms when the men they are married to are richer. This result cannot be explained by possible confounds such as women's age, health, happiness, educational attainment, relationship duration, wealth difference between the partners, difference between the partners in educational attainment, and regional location. It appears consistent with the view that female orgasm has an evolved adaptive function. Let me reiterate: The fem...

They’re Vegan, Too!

ellen_portia My goodness, I am quite the trend-setter. I decided back in November that I was going to go vegan, and now it appears Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres have made the same choice. Former Ally McBeal star De Rossi reveals she and her wife went meat and dairy-free late last year - and De Generes' healthy diet choice is already paying off for her. The actress explains, "We just made that shift in our lives. The benefit of it is weight loss. For her more than me. Her body responded to it very well. It is amazing. "We are just both very happy. It feels like such ...

Can We Send Her to Porn-hab?

missusaporn Miss USA 1991 wants her vagina to win Miss Congeniality! It's being friendly to EVERYONE in her upcoming porn flick, Faithless. "I enjoy acting, and I really like sex," says Kelli McCarty, "so this was the perfect opportunity to combine two of my passions. I approached Vivid with the idea of shooting a film with a sexy but interesting storyline, and I was pleasantly surprised with the amount of control I was given throughout the production process. I am very pleased with the final edit ...

Kelly Osbourne Arrested for Assault!

56166380kellyosbourne1116200851145pm Okay, okay, so the actual event happened last summer -- what took Scotland Yard so long to investigate? Kelly Osbourne has been arrested for allegedly slapping a journalist in a London nightclub last summer. The 24-year-old daughter of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne was released on bail as inquiries continue. She is scheduled to return to see authorities in March. The allegations stem from a claim that Osbourne hit gossip columnist Zoe Griffin after Griffin wrote an article mocking Osbourne's model boyfriend Luk...

Happy Martin Luther King Day, Bitches!!!

WASSUP YOU GUYS??? Sorry I have been gone forevah-evah, but a big huge THANK YOU to Wendie for covering for me as I ran 13.1 miles in the Arizona Rock 'N' Roll half-marathon yesterday. I have made so many positive and healthy changes in my life the past year, and this was really the culmination of it, and I am so proud of myself for finishing. Honestly, you guys, if I can do this, anyone can. Deciding to do this half-marathon, and training for it, has really changed my life for the better. It has helped build my self-confidence and my physical and emotional strength, and I would recommend it to anyone looking to make a big change in the way their life works. And is everyone psyched for the inauguration of President-elect Obama tomorrow? How freakin' awesome is it that MLK Day immediately precedes it? The timing is just perfect. I'm so excited! What are you guys doing tomorrow for inauguration night? Does anyone know of anything going on in Scottsdale? I have no plans and I definitely want to be a part of some festivities!!! />WASSUP YOU GUYS??? Sorry I have been gone forevah-evah, but a big huge THANK YOU to Wendie for covering for me as I ran 13.1 miles in the Arizona Rock 'N' Roll half-marathon yesterday. I have made so many positive and healthy changes in my life the past year, and this was really the culmination of it, and I am so proud of myself for finishing. Honestly, you guys, if I can do this, anyone can. Deciding to do this half-marathon, and training for it, has really changed my life for the better. It has h...

Beyonce to Sing for Obamas’ First Dance

beyonce_gg Beyonce Knowles has landed the much-sought-after gig of singing for Barack and Michelle Obama's first dance on inauguration night Tuesday. But ... event organizers are keeping the song she's singing completely secret until the actual performance. All I have to say about this is: Was Danity Kane already booked? Because I think they should have performed "Damaged," except instead of "heart" they would need to say "country." And Aubrey O'Day could re-enact her Playboy shoot, and, if nothing else, it would force the nation to start...

Britney’s Tour: New Pics and New Dramz!!!

gallery_main-web-8 BritneySpears.com just released some new photos of Britney showing off her lipo and her dance moves as she preps for her upcoming tour. Looking good, Britster!!! I basically never read the tabloids, except for when I'm flying somewhere, and I picked up an issue of the new OK! magazine in the Seattle airport yesterday. This is the cover: Do those big yellow words make sense to any of you? "WHAT PRICE FAME"? Were there supposed to be, ya know, other words in there, too? Or is OK! now pub...

It’s War!

Nick Coles from Spike.com Since I posted this article about Spike.com's jackass list of "Top 7 Butterbodies," I've had an influx of commenters come by to post this link to the author's photo. Most of the commenters have never posted on Evil Beet before. So, I must ask, are you all just that excited that this dude has a hairy chest and balding head, or is there some manner of underground, organized effort going on to post this link to his face to every blog discussing The Mean List? ...